My cats don't like visitors and neither do I. If you drop by, you will not be invited in.

I've been reading all of your comments above and agree with all. However my problem with having guests over is a bit different. I find myself spending a couple of hours on my house giving it a good clean before they are due over. You know, cleaned bathrooms, freshly smelling house, fluffed up cushions and a fridge full if goodies. I like to make sure my guests are looked after and welcomed into a clean home. My problem though is this.. I spend all my time doing the above only for certain guests to end up trashing the house by the time they leave. Doors wide open and not closed behind them, toilets not flushed after being used, toys everywhere, sweet rappers, stained walls (spilt wine) on my newly painted walls and honestly the feeling that there is no respect for my house there and how hard I've worked to make it a nice house to live in. I know I shouldn't care about the mess made but I can't help it. I hate it. I can't relax and enjoy my time because I just see my house being trashed in front of me and at the time I don't want to say anything because I want guests to feel happy and welcomed. But OMG I just cannot take it anymore! How can I try to relax a little more? I can see this starting to effect my social life and the last thing Id want is for no one to want to come over but I'd just like a little respect.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG-I am very similar. I feel like I love going to other people's events and parties. But I just don't enjoy hosting things at my house. I don't worry so much about my house being clean, I just don't like people wandering throughout my house (going upstairs to the bedroom area (friend's kids)) and man-handling my belongings or house...I know it is wierd and sometimes I wish I could be more laid back and easy going about it, but it just irks me.

This makes me nuts. We entertain pretty frequently, but some of the people we have at our house (for full meals, wine, etc.) never reciprocate. After a few rounds of that, I cross them off my list.

So selfish.

Totally agree that this is selfish. You better bring kick a.. gifts, wine, food or such if you never host. Otherwise, I deem you a moocher (sp?) and will not invite you again.

Anonymous wrote:OMG-I am very similar. I feel like I love going to other people's events and parties. But I just don't enjoy hosting things at my house. I don't worry so much about my house being clean, I just don't like people wandering throughout my house (going upstairs to the bedroom area (friend's kids)) and man-handling my belongings or house...I know it is wierd and sometimes I wish I could be more laid back and easy going about it, but it just irks me.

This makes me nuts. We entertain pretty frequently, but some of the people we have at our house (for full meals, wine, etc.) never reciprocate. After a few rounds of that, I cross them off my list.

So selfish.

Anonymous wrote:I don't like having people over either. Part of it is because we live in a very large house in Great Falls and I don't want people to judge us based on the kind of house we have. None of our friends have any idea because we are very understated people otherwise (I wear clothes from Old Navy, don't wear any jewelry, we like to eat at chain restaurants, etc.) I worry that if we have them over that their opinion of us will change.

The other aspect of why I don't like people over is because we don't wear shoes in the house. I always ask guests to take their shoes off but some people don't feel comfortable with this. And I don't feel comfortable with nasty shoe crap all over my floors.

I agree to both of these statements--and especially the not wearing shoes. Are people really uncomfortable with this? I usually say "do you mind taking your shoes off?" and in truth we just spent alot of money to have the carpets cleaned. I also really don't like having people (or kids) over that just wander around my house. I realize I should just lighten up.

I don't like having people over either. Part of it is because we live in a very large house in Great Falls and I don't want people to judge us based on the kind of house we have. None of our friends have any idea because we are very understated people otherwise (I wear clothes from Old Navy, don't wear any jewelry, we like to eat at chain restaurants, etc.) I worry that if we have them over that their opinion of us will change.

The other aspect of why I don't like people over is because we don't wear shoes in the house. I always ask guests to take their shoes off but some people don't feel comfortable with this. And I don't feel comfortable with nasty shoe crap all over my floors.

OMG-I am very similar. I feel like I love going to other people's events and parties. But I just don't enjoy hosting things at my house. I don't worry so much about my house being clean, I just don't like people wandering throughout my house (going upstairs to the bedroom area (friend's kids)) and man-handling my belongings or house...I know it is wierd and sometimes I wish I could be more laid back and easy going about it, but it just irks me.

Anonymous wrote:Today, I finally admitted to myself that I HATE having people over to my home. I am a very social person and love getting together with friends, but I become so anxious when anyone visits - is my house clean enough? What will we eat? How does the lawn look? Will people notice the crappy paint job in the living room? Should we eat outside or inside? Where should I put the crudites? Etc. etc. I find myself secretly hoping that people will cancel on us after we invite them over. I dread the visits for days beforehand. Anyone else like this? How do you deal? I am an anxious person by nature and I care too much what people think about me, I need to get over it! Our friends have had to invite themselves over in order to meet our now-several-months-old baby.

I enjoy entertaining and I am not anti-social. Also, I visit friends in their homes, I do not visit their homes. Big difference.

I don't mind having people over but I used to kill myself cleaning and cooking (and I am pretty clean to begin with.) Once I had kids, I finally relaxed. I went from crazy cleaning for guests to just "tidy up." My DH is great and he always scrubs down the powder room before company but other than that we have learned to relax. I also try to make a dinner that is done early to pick-up kitchen and run dishwasher - like a baked enchilada dish, salad, etc. In the summer, make the salads early and then grill something. That helps a lot too. The only reason I hated/hate having people over is all the kids. Someone won't eat, or dragging food around, crying, etc. But now that everyone is older, we can feed them first and they will do the WII or go outside. The younger years with all the kids around can make entertaining hard. I am a homebody so love to be at home; it is not large but very, warm and inviting and people always tell us they love coming to our house because it feels so warm. I don't have a lot of talents so that makes me feel good. The person who said to go out and at home is dull....we never show photo albums. We talk with our friends. I find it is very hard to do that in a restaurant because it is so loud.

Anonymous wrote:Wow. OP here. So trippy to see a thread I started in October 2009. I now have a toddler AND a baby. Still hate the preparations for having people over, but now I force myself to invite people over first and THEN start worrying - so my silly insecurities don't render ne antisocial. Because the thing is, I am always so happy once I've had a good visit with family or friends. And now that lots of the people who come over have young kids, I know for a fact they are too preoccupied with wrangling their kids to notice a paint job and if they do, oh well. If they notice my imperfections maybe it will make them feel better about their own. I'm not friends with snobby people so I don't know why I think they'd be judgmental! I'll always stress before having guests over but now I'm not using that as an excuse to avoid having people over.

I was just about to post, I doubt the OP will be back to this...

I hate it, too that's why we NEVER have people over. But in the back of my mind, it bothers me b/c I remember reading, more than once, that one thing older people (really old) say they would do differently is NOT worry about how their house looked or how their hair was or whether they had the right clothes on and just spent more time with friends. Have people over more often in the "come as you are and see me as I am and my house as it is" style. And in the process, discover who their true friends are.

Having people over today...thanks for this thread- it's great because I was getting anxious and perfectionistic and forgetting the real purpose for why I was having them over in the first place-- to enjoy their company! I'm going to try to relax and have a good time.

Wow. OP here. So trippy to see a thread I started in October 2009. I now have a toddler AND a baby. Still hate the preparations for having people over, but now I force myself to invite people over first and THEN start worrying - so my silly insecurities don't render ne antisocial. Because the thing is, I am always so happy once I've had a good visit with family or friends. And now that lots of the people who come over have young kids, I know for a fact they are too preoccupied with wrangling their kids to notice a paint job and if they do, oh well. If they notice my imperfections maybe it will make them feel better about their own. I'm not friends with snobby people so I don't know why I think they'd be judgmental! I'll always stress before having guests over but now I'm not using that as an excuse to avoid having people over.

Yeah, I hate entertaining. I'm a very social person, just hate having to "entrain" people, for the same reasons that OP listed.

Also hate hosting play dates as I'm worried that we don't have the coolest new toys, or the best snacks etc. much rather go to the park!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I Live with my mom right now and people are comeing over all the time. Her friends, my brothers friends. sometimes people spend the night, it drives me crazy! I am supposed to have my own place in a year, aleast I hope, this way no one will come over and it will be just me and my cat. I'm realy looking forward to this! I can't stand people coming over.

Is that why you keep replying to threads that are three years old? Perhaps job search instead of thread search

OOOOHHHH. Sick burn.