Anonymous wrote:3 and 4 year olds saying that someone is pretty and they want to marry them isn't a crush. My 4 year old son says that to me all the time, and he doesn't have a crush on me.

It's more like the shy different feeling awkwardness that tends to start around 11 or 12, probably fifth grade.

+1. Totally.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 and 4 year olds saying that someone is pretty and they want to marry them isn't a crush. My 4 year old son says that to me all the time, and he doesn't have a crush on me.

It's more like the shy different feeling awkwardness that tends to start around 11 or 12, probably fifth grade.

I'd say that's exactly what it is. The "shy different feeling awkwardness" is the first stirrings of sexual attraction, not just a crush.

We have different definitions of a crush. For me, a crush includes a almost forbidden aspect. Like you do not want the other person to know. And it is tied to sexual stirrings.

I agree with you. It includes a sexual aspect and the preschool age stuff mentioned here doesn’t fit my definition.

My crushes - which I can remember as far back as kindergarten - had a sexual aspect, even though I had only the vaguest theoretical ideas about how sex worked or what it might feel like. I definitely imagined kissing girls back then. I had no such thoughts about boys. I don't know how to describe those feelings except as a crush.

Anonymous wrote:My father in law says he fell in love with my mother in law in third grade.

They started dating in middle school and are now 70 years old.

omg that is so sweet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My about-to-turn-11 year old has zero interest in girls and thinks mushy love stuff is gross. He has had a few girls crush on him but just ignores it. He's very cerebral and likely to be a late bloomer in that area.

Um, this might be what he shares with you. I guarantee that by 11, he's thought about other girls (or boys) in a romantic and/or sexual way.

Entirely possible, but I've observed him interacting or playing with friends of both genders lots of times and have seen no inklings. He's academically precocious but emotionally immature. Similar to his dad, who says he was not aware of girls sexually or romantically until late MS/HS.

My father in law says he fell in love with my mother in law in third grade.

They started dating in middle school and are now 70 years old.

Anonymous wrote:My about-to-turn-11 year old has zero interest in girls and thinks mushy love stuff is gross. He has had a few girls crush on him but just ignores it. He's very cerebral and likely to be a late bloomer in that area.

Um, this might be what he shares with you. I guarantee that by 11, he's thought about other girls (or boys) in a romantic and/or sexual way.

Another girl here.

I DEFINITELY had a crush with sexual undertones in 1st grade. I might not remember it except for the fact that he moved away, and I was crushed.

Kids frequently have crushes young! That's how so many bi/gay people say they've "always known." Many (of my friends) had crushes on friends of the same-sex by early elementary school.

My about-to-turn-11 year old has zero interest in girls and thinks mushy love stuff is gross. He has had a few girls crush on him but just ignores it. He's very cerebral and likely to be a late bloomer in that area.

2-3 grade

2-3 grade

My SS liked a girl in sixth grade. Now he’s in law school and she’s his girlfriend.

My 11 year old has a crush on Gal Gadot. I think he at one point had one on a girl at school but would never admit it.

Anonymous wrote:Girl here.. first crush in kindergarten

SAME! I had my first crush in kindergarden, then I liked a boy in 4th grade, and had a crush on a girl in 7th grade.
Anyway, I am a girl, and I personally never had very many crushes and stuff. However, all of my guy friends around me did (and still do!)

Second grade. She was the "girl next door", and we were best friends for many years. I remember asking her if she would marry me when we were "all grown up", to which she blushed wildly, but immediately said "yes". My parents (having no daughters) thought she was the greatest (as did her parents of me), so we were allowed to do everything together, including sleepovers and going on family vacations together.

Probably a bit weird in retrospect, but was definitely fun for quite a while. We even dated some in HS, but nothing further came of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 and 4 year olds saying that someone is pretty and they want to marry them isn't a crush. My 4 year old son says that to me all the time, and he doesn't have a crush on me.

It's more like the shy different feeling awkwardness that tends to start around 11 or 12, probably fifth grade.

I'd say that's exactly what it is. The "shy different feeling awkwardness" is the first stirrings of sexual attraction, not just a crush.

We have different definitions of a crush. For me, a crush includes a almost forbidden aspect. Like you do not want the other person to know. And it is tied to sexual stirrings.

I agree with you. It includes a sexual aspect and the preschool age stuff mentioned here doesn’t fit my definition.