In my early 20's I had a GF who was very sexually aggressive. At the same time she was very insecure which may have been why she was aggressive. I was the opposite of sexually aggressive and I always felt confident. I did become sexually aggressive once I started dating my DH and I've done my best to keep it going for many years.

I'm not threatened by other women who are sexually aggressive.

I am annoyed by being used as a foil, an object, by other women, because that's a shitty way to treat a human being.

There's a difference.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm what most people would consider sexually aggressive. Reasons women have not liked me

1. They think I'm after their guy. I've never cheated or been the other woman (this was more in college though)
2. They think I'm faking it. Nope, I really enjoy sex.
3. They think I was either sexually traumatized or have low self steem and seek out male approval. Neither are true.
4. This likely doesn't have to do with my sexual aggression, but I tend to get along with men better than women.
5. My favorite and one that I've only seen once or twice...that I'm cheapening the feminism movement/I'm an embarrassment to feminists. Never understood that argument

It used to bother me when I was younger. But then I realized the beauty of being in charge of your sexuality. And DH certainly doesn't complain haha.

I don’t like you because you’re trying way too hard.

Majorly. +1 million

NP who agrees. Also cannot stand 4. if you are a "guy's girl".

Yes “guy’s girl” are very threatening. In reality the ones you have to watch out for are the “girl’s girl”. Let just call them what they are “mean girls”. Just look through the post on this thread. Look how the pps go after a woman who said she is one sexual aggressive and prefer men to women. This is on an anonymous. These type of women do not have friends. They just have followers or rivals.

I seriously pity you. I hope you get to experience having actual girlfriends in your life...it's amazing. And it's obvious you're hurting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm what most people would consider sexually aggressive. Reasons women have not liked me

1. They think I'm after their guy. I've never cheated or been the other woman (this was more in college though)
2. They think I'm faking it. Nope, I really enjoy sex.
3. They think I was either sexually traumatized or have low self steem and seek out male approval. Neither are true.
4. This likely doesn't have to do with my sexual aggression, but I tend to get along with men better than women.
5. My favorite and one that I've only seen once or twice...that I'm cheapening the feminism movement/I'm an embarrassment to feminists. Never understood that argument

It used to bother me when I was younger. But then I realized the beauty of being in charge of your sexuality. And DH certainly doesn't complain haha.

This says much, MUCH more about you than it does about anyone else. If that's the attitude you approach life with, of course you're going to encounter friction. What an incredibly weird thing to say

I agree with other that this is not a weird thing to say. I must have heard this from 50 different women over the years (I'm a guy). What kind of rock have you lived under that this is weird to you?

If you are a woman without any women friends, you are severely missing out.

Missing out on what?

I used to be one of those women who didn't have any girlfriends. I got along much better with guys. Turns out, most of those guys (except the gay ones) wanted to f&$k me and stuck around in hopes of that. Once I was in a relationship which was headed to marriage, these guys disappeared. I now have two female best friends and many other women I am close to. The benefit is these are people who understand me, are caring and supportive, who would and have been there for me and my family in tough times.

Yes!!! This. Exactly.

Thanks, girl! (Insert heart emoji)

Sure women are not friends. As soon as any guy comes a long they will leave you high and dry. Just give it some time.

Wow. That sucks if that's really what you think. Not true at ALL (laughably untrue, in fact)...but I guess you've never had a real friend?

You do realize that most of the women on here are in their 30s/40s and beyond, right?

Anonymous wrote:Women who will throw over their girlfriends to hang out with men ... usually aren't the women I want to hang out with.

I do feel that a woman who always says she prefers the company of men to the company of women has a problem. Low self-esteem, something else? I don't know. Because women-women friendships are really wonderful, affirming, and important. And if you can't get along with other women I think you need some counseling to figure out what is going on there. By putting down half of the population -- your own half -- you've just made yourself suspect in my eyes.

This is so true. I've always had close friendships with other women and been baffled by the women who claim they don't. This claim always strikes me as a humlebrag.

"It's so sad how I make friends easily with men but not women. I guess I just don't get along with women because they're usually so catty, competitive, vain, [insert other negative female stereotypes]. I am just not like that. I'm more like men, who are straightforward and easygoing and fun."

It's a deeply misogynist way of distancing herself from socially undesirable "feminine" traits. Meanwhile, she is clearly high in competitiveness, cattiness, and vanity herself as hard as she works to present the opposite impression. She finds validation in male approval and being seen as special because she's "not like other women" and is "one of the guys."

As for sexual aggression, it depends on how it's defined. If it means that she's not shy about openly hitting on guys she's interested in, I am not threatened by that. I might be a little envious of women who have that kind of confidence, but I am self-aware enough to admire them and cheer them on and hope I can also get there someday instead of resenting them for it.

On the other hand, some women do this in a way that is obviously competitive, and I find this annoying because I don't want to be in the competition. Not threatening, but annoying and kind of gross.

I can think of one time in my life when I felt threatened by a sexually aggressive woman, and that was because the sexual aggression was directed at my boyfriend. I was sitting right next to him and she climbed up in his lap and pulled down her shirt and pants to show him her sexy lingerie. Is it catty of me to call her disrespectful and pathetic?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm what most people would consider sexually aggressive. Reasons women have not liked me

1. They think I'm after their guy. I've never cheated or been the other woman (this was more in college though)
2. They think I'm faking it. Nope, I really enjoy sex.
3. They think I was either sexually traumatized or have low self steem and seek out male approval. Neither are true.
4. This likely doesn't have to do with my sexual aggression, but I tend to get along with men better than women.
5. My favorite and one that I've only seen once or twice...that I'm cheapening the feminism movement/I'm an embarrassment to feminists. Never understood that argument

It used to bother me when I was younger. But then I realized the beauty of being in charge of your sexuality. And DH certainly doesn't complain haha.

I don’t like you because you’re trying way too hard.

Majorly. +1 million

NP who agrees. Also cannot stand 4. if you are a "guy's girl".

Yes “guy’s girl” are very threatening. In reality the ones you have to watch out for are the “girl’s girl”. Let just call them what they are “mean girls”. Just look through the post on this thread. Look how the pps go after a woman who said she is one sexual aggressive and prefer men to women. This is on an anonymous. These type of women do not have friends. They just have followers or rivals.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm what most people would consider sexually aggressive. Reasons women have not liked me

1. They think I'm after their guy. I've never cheated or been the other woman (this was more in college though)
2. They think I'm faking it. Nope, I really enjoy sex.
3. They think I was either sexually traumatized or have low self steem and seek out male approval. Neither are true.
4. This likely doesn't have to do with my sexual aggression, but I tend to get along with men better than women.
5. My favorite and one that I've only seen once or twice...that I'm cheapening the feminism movement/I'm an embarrassment to feminists. Never understood that argument

It used to bother me when I was younger. But then I realized the beauty of being in charge of your sexuality. And DH certainly doesn't complain haha.

This says much, MUCH more about you than it does about anyone else. If that's the attitude you approach life with, of course you're going to encounter friction. What an incredibly weird thing to say

I agree with other that this is not a weird thing to say. I must have heard this from 50 different women over the years (I'm a guy). What kind of rock have you lived under that this is weird to you?

If you are a woman without any women friends, you are severely missing out.

Missing out on what?

I used to be one of those women who didn't have any girlfriends. I got along much better with guys. Turns out, most of those guys (except the gay ones) wanted to f&$k me and stuck around in hopes of that. Once I was in a relationship which was headed to marriage, these guys disappeared. I now have two female best friends and many other women I am close to. The benefit is these are people who understand me, are caring and supportive, who would and have been there for me and my family in tough times.

Yes!!! This. Exactly.

Thanks, girl! (Insert heart emoji)

Sure women are not friends. As soon as any guy comes a long they will leave you high and dry. Just give it some time.

I'm not. Why do I care about some other woman's sexual aggression as long as it isn't directed toward me or my partner?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm what most people would consider sexually aggressive. Reasons women have not liked me

1. They think I'm after their guy. I've never cheated or been the other woman (this was more in college though)
2. They think I'm faking it. Nope, I really enjoy sex.
3. They think I was either sexually traumatized or have low self steem and seek out male approval. Neither are true.
4. This likely doesn't have to do with my sexual aggression, but I tend to get along with men better than women.
5. My favorite and one that I've only seen once or twice...that I'm cheapening the feminism movement/I'm an embarrassment to feminists. Never understood that argument

It used to bother me when I was younger. But then I realized the beauty of being in charge of your sexuality. And DH certainly doesn't complain haha.

I don’t like you because you’re trying way too hard.

Majorly. +1 million

NP who agrees. Also cannot stand 4. if you are a "guy's girl".

Totally. Huge (eye roll-inducing) red flag

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm what most people would consider sexually aggressive. Reasons women have not liked me

1. They think I'm after their guy. I've never cheated or been the other woman (this was more in college though)
2. They think I'm faking it. Nope, I really enjoy sex.
3. They think I was either sexually traumatized or have low self steem and seek out male approval. Neither are true.
4. This likely doesn't have to do with my sexual aggression, but I tend to get along with men better than women.
5. My favorite and one that I've only seen once or twice...that I'm cheapening the feminism movement/I'm an embarrassment to feminists. Never understood that argument

It used to bother me when I was younger. But then I realized the beauty of being in charge of your sexuality. And DH certainly doesn't complain haha.

I don’t like you because you’re trying way too hard.

Majorly. +1 million

NP who agrees. Also cannot stand 4. if you are a "guy's girl".

A woman does not have to be an Amazon or have raging hormones 24 hours a day to pick up men. Men are easy.

Anonymous wrote:Define aggressive. Someone who is open? Someone who makes sexual advances at males?

As a male I like that. I’m in a low sex to no sex marriage. I’m having an affair with a high drive woman. Guess where I go to get my needs fulfilled emotionally and sexually?

Do you want a freakin' cookie? Go away.

Define aggressive. Someone who is open? Someone who makes sexual advances at males?

As a male I like that. I’m in a low sex to no sex marriage. I’m having an affair with a high drive woman. Guess where I go to get my needs fulfilled emotionally and sexually?

Anonymous wrote:I know - the answer to most questions about "are women x?" is "some are and some are not." But, generally speaking, do women view other women negatively if they are sexually aggressive and, if so, why? This thought was prompted by another thread where someone observed that the main appeal of most porn scenarios was that the woman was enthusiastic about sex. And, sure, like any fantasy, porn isn't very realistic. But, you also see women slut shaming other women.

So, if it's common for women to negatively judge other women for enthusiastically seeking out sex or flaunting their sexuality, what's the primary motivation? Don't like the competition for men? Think it raises the bar so your man will be unsatisfied with you? Wish you could be that confident? General moral concerns? Other?

I stopped seeing this once I left college. I don't ever really see adults complain about women who are "sexually aggressive", most are way too worried about their own lives to give a crap about what goes on in others' bedrooms.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm what most people would consider sexually aggressive. Reasons women have not liked me

1. They think I'm after their guy. I've never cheated or been the other woman (this was more in college though)
2. They think I'm faking it. Nope, I really enjoy sex.
3. They think I was either sexually traumatized or have low self steem and seek out male approval. Neither are true.
4. This likely doesn't have to do with my sexual aggression, but I tend to get along with men better than women.
5. My favorite and one that I've only seen once or twice...that I'm cheapening the feminism movement/I'm an embarrassment to feminists. Never understood that argument

It used to bother me when I was younger. But then I realized the beauty of being in charge of your sexuality. And DH certainly doesn't complain haha.

This says much, MUCH more about you than it does about anyone else. If that's the attitude you approach life with, of course you're going to encounter friction. What an incredibly weird thing to say

I agree with other that this is not a weird thing to say. I must have heard this from 50 different women over the years (I'm a guy). What kind of rock have you lived under that this is weird to you?

If you are a woman without any women friends, you are severely missing out.

Missing out on what?

I used to be one of those women who didn't have any girlfriends. I got along much better with guys. Turns out, most of those guys (except the gay ones) wanted to f&$k me and stuck around in hopes of that. Once I was in a relationship which was headed to marriage, these guys disappeared. I now have two female best friends and many other women I am close to. The benefit is these are people who understand me, are caring and supportive, who would and have been there for me and my family in tough times.

Yes!!! This. Exactly.

Thanks, girl! (Insert heart emoji)