With multiple weddings to attend each summer, we often can't afford to attend them all. Flights, hotels, meals out, gifts and child care expenses add up quick. Plus travel days to and from wedding cut into vacation days. Convenience and expense will always be a factor in attending or not.

I hate going to weddings with children present. They're just rolling around on the dance floor while people are trying to dance (and may be drinking, wearing heals and not watching for 3' tall people). And all the older generation just sits around and babysits instead of dancing with their spouses. I've seen a few elementary school kids destroy candy bars too- bagging up all the chocolates for themselves like it's Halloween.

And by 8pm, I guarantee you there will be tears and crying from kids who had WAY too much sugar and shirley temples and are overtired.

I love childfree weddings. Time away with just DH, dancing, drinks, and friends. BUT we have several people we could leave DS with at home, so it makes it significantly easier for us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If that many of the guests attending have kids then that it stupid to not allow children or at least hire a babysitter.

Is the event at a hotel? If so I’d see if you can rent a room and hire babysitters during the event. I know my wedding planner offered this as an option.

But I probably wouldn’t spend thousands of dollars on a trip that not all of my family members can attend.

This. We hired a room and sitter, who came with games, kids had pizza, etc.

How does this work though. I'm interested, but it seems like something more for 8 year olds than 2 year olds (and getting a sitter for 2 year olds is more of a problem). Can most kids stay awake until midnight when the wedding ends?

It is OK for them to have a party to which they are only inviting adult guests. If you don't like it, don't go.

Anonymous wrote:It's only tacky if the couple tries to guilt anyone to leave their kids or whines that people had to skip it. My cousins have been having kid free weddings and I just don't go b.c my parents were going to be busy at the wedding and I don't have anyone to leave them with otherwise.

A babysitter??

Anonymous wrote:You can either accept or decline. It's not up to you to decide what is right/appropriate for them. If it's too "tacky" for you, then by all means, send a gift and stay at home. With an attitude like yours, do them a favor and stay away.

They owe nothing--nothing--to anyone else on their special day. They could get married in an igloo or a hot air balloon, with no guests. They could have 500+ guests, including children, to a literal circus. They could have 50 guests in a backyard. They can do whatever they want. It's about them. It's not up to you. Go or don't go.

+1

I have a 2 year old. Why the hell would I want her at a wedding??? She goes to sleep at 7:30, right when the fun is starting. My SIL wanted her there for her wedding, so we brought her all dolled up, but it was SO MUCH WORK.

But I agree it's hard to get a babysitter out of town. I think the hosts should have a list of babysitters or a room with babysitting. Surely they know babysitters since they have kids? I've had horror stories of hotel babysitters. The worst was when we had a 9 week old and DH saw the babysitter and refused to leave our baby with her. She crashed the wedding, but it was okay since the 9 week old just slept in the stroller for the entire 6 hour wedding.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if it's tacky, but it certainly communicates that the couple has a certain set of values I don't share. It would make me think much less of them. I mean, your right to have whatever kind of wedding you want, but you can't stop people from judging you.

Goes both ways.

Why would anyone think it’s tacky to not invite kids to a wedding? I’m 40. I’ve probably only been to two or three weddings ever where kids were invited (infants were an exception). It is an objective truth that kids very much change the tone of weddings. It’s totally legitimate for a couple to not want to go that direction. What is tacky is guests getting their feathers ruffled about their kids not being invited.

Also, just because op says most of the family is traveling from out of town, doesn’t preclude the possibility that most guests are non family and live in town. I envision a young couple age 30 who moved to dc after college, all their friends (80 guests) are in dc and childless, and they are inviting 40 family members from out of town. It makes total sense to not have kids at this wedding.

Anonymous wrote:After having a kid, I’m more appreciative of kid-free weddings. Not all parents keep an eye on their kids. Or worse - they think it’s cute when the kid screams or messes up the centerpieces, or runs up on the stage (desi weddings have a stage).

+1

I don't know if it's tacky, but it certainly communicates that the couple has a certain set of values I don't share. It would make me think much less of them. I mean, your right to have whatever kind of wedding you want, but you can't stop people from judging you.

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people who hire babysitters so they can go on date nights and out their kids on day care all week get bent out of shape because they can't take their kids along to a wedding for a few hours. Hire a friggin baby sitter. It's not a big deal.

+1
Usually those parents have the grandparents on call for free babysitting.

After having a kid, I’m more appreciative of kid-free weddings. Not all parents keep an eye on their kids. Or worse - they think it’s cute when the kid screams or messes up the centerpieces, or runs up on the stage (desi weddings have a stage).

It's only tacky if the couple tries to guilt anyone to leave their kids or whines that people had to skip it. My cousins have been having kid free weddings and I just don't go b.c my parents were going to be busy at the wedding and I don't have anyone to leave them with otherwise.