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Anonymous wrote:I know many Jewish families who have adopted internationally. You would need to be comfortable adopting transracially though, and you seem to already have trouble with the interfaith part. So that may not e the best option for you.
You may need to think about how much of the issue is birthfamilies not wanting their child to be raised Jewish vs you not being comfortable raising a child who was not born Jewish.

This. I'd also point out that children who are raised Jewish, but who are not born Jewish, and later leave may be reacting to being treated differently by their parents and others in the community because they weren't born Jewish. It's hard to say what the contributing factors are, but if you adopt will not only you but your religious community accept that child, without distinction (once there's a mikvah, anyway)?

???? What the heck are you talking about?? If a kid isn’t Jewish, he or she will go through a conversion to Judaism. It happens all the time. And you obviously don’t know this but Jews are required to treat converts even better than those who were born Jewish. Yes. Just the opposite of what you have said.

Yeah, I do know that, but just because that's a tenet doesn't mean that people will observe it. As someone who had former boyfriend's parent tell me they didn't want their son to marry me because then their grandchildren wouldn't REALLY be Jewish, if you think no one in Judaism cares about whether a child in their family or community was born Jewish or converted, you're the one that doesn't know what you're talking about.

I am sorry and it is a difficult thing to say without being accused of being anti Semitic. It has less to do with birth families being anti Semitic and more to do with birth families worrying about the child not being accepted into the Jewish community. Many of us Gentiles have had experiences with Jewish people being clannish and exclusionary. The Jewish faith IS different from Christian traditions where mere conversion and acceptance of Jesus gives you a full membership to the club. Because Judaism is also a racially/tribally based community, converts are not considered real Jews by many in the community.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know many Jewish families who have adopted internationally. You would need to be comfortable adopting transracially though, and you seem to already have trouble with the interfaith part. So that may not e the best option for you.
You may need to think about how much of the issue is birthfamilies not wanting their child to be raised Jewish vs you not being comfortable raising a child who was not born Jewish.

This. I'd also point out that children who are raised Jewish, but who are not born Jewish, and later leave may be reacting to being treated differently by their parents and others in the community because they weren't born Jewish. It's hard to say what the contributing factors are, but if you adopt will not only you but your religious community accept that child, without distinction (once there's a mikvah, anyway)?

???? What the heck are you talking about?? If a kid isn’t Jewish, he or she will go through a conversion to Judaism. It happens all the time. And you obviously don’t know this but Jews are required to treat converts even better than those who were born Jewish. Yes. Just the opposite of what you have said.

Yeah, I do know that, but just because that's a tenet doesn't mean that people will observe it. As someone who had former boyfriend's parent tell me they didn't want their son to marry me because then their grandchildren wouldn't REALLY be Jewish, if you think no one in Judaism cares about whether a child in their family or community was born Jewish or converted, you're the one that doesn't know what you're talking about.

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Anonymous wrote:OP here. I did call the organization someone linked to above. They told me that since they only do adoptions through foster care and since they are located in Florida that only adoptive couples in Florida are eligible to work withbthem. We are not in florida. Does anyone know any other agencies?

Have you considered egg donation or embryo donation? You are more likely to find Jewish donors than Jewish birthmothers.

Op here. We would need to use a gestational surrogate plus donor egg since my uteus is the problem. I have implantation problems. We cannot afford donor egg plus gestational surrogate that would be over 100K. I have dine 5 ivfs and have no more embryos so we would need a donor egg but like I mentioned we can't afford a surrogate. So adoption is our only option to build our family but I'm concerned about the religion aspect.

Anonymous wrote:We are a married couple with one child who would like to adopt our second (due to secondary infertility we cannot have a second).

However, one of my concerns is religion. We are Jewish, observant, and very involved in the Jewish community (members of a synagogue, child goes to Hebrew and Sunday school), etc. Most of our friends/community are Jewish too. So religion is a big part of our lives.

Most birth mothers may be unfamiliar with Judaism. My concern are: a) that we will not be chosen by a birth mother because they are unfamiliar with Judaism/don't want their child raised Jewish, and b) if we are matched, I am concerned about the concept that we are raising a child in the Jewish religion who was born into a different religion. What if this child later resents us for raising her Jewish when she was born Catholic, etc.? He/she is of course free to practice whatever religion he/she wants when she turns 18 but I worry that there will be a resentment issue.

There is basically no intermarriage in either DH or my families, so this is completely uncharted territory for us, and we have a lot of anxieties about the religion aspect.

Any thoughts about this?

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Anonymous wrote:If this helps at all, no one is born Christian. One is raised Christian and likely baptized at some point.

That said, while we aren’t Jewish, we have friends, coworkers, and extended family members who are and many have adoptees in their immediate families. Some were international, but also some domestic transracial or open adoptions. Of all of those, I only know two in which the children left Judaism. One did convert back to the faith he was baptized in as an infant. The other converted to a third religion in college.

Irrelevant.

Anonymous wrote:If this helps at all, no one is born Christian. One is raised Christian and likely baptized at some point.

That said, while we aren’t Jewish, we have friends, coworkers, and extended family members who are and many have adoptees in their immediate families. Some were international, but also some domestic transracial or open adoptions. Of all of those, I only know two in which the children left Judaism. One did convert back to the faith he was baptized in as an infant. The other converted to a third religion in college.

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Anonymous wrote:I am a Jewish adoptive mother with a Jewish husband. We adopted internationally, so no birth mother "chose" us. Our child is being raised Jewish (and did a mikvah conversion as a baby) and identifies as Jewish. I don't know what will happen in the future, but I don't know that with any of my kids.

Op here. What country did you adopt from? How did you decide on international vs. Domestic?

We adopted from China. For some reason I was just drawn to international adoption. I didn't even really consider domestic, although we did look into several different countries before we went with China.

I'm not an adoptive parent, although I once considered it seriously before having an unexpected pregnancy. International adoption seems SO much easier, IMHO. Parents who adopt internationally don't have to deal with the caprices of birth mothers. There was something about our family that made me believe we would not go to the top of the list of a birthmother, so I knew that international adoption would be much simpler for us.

True, but you will not get an infant if you adopt internationally. And the children may have a range of special needs.

This is also true for giving birth and domestic. My child has SN. Most of the kids I know through therapies and school were not adopted. [/quote

The number of children that are adopted make up a much smaller percentage of the population so of course you will know far less of them.