Anonymous wrote:At least it’s just an exercise.... imagine if it was her reality... like every day.

Omg, I know. A close friend grew up in Baltimore's high-rise projects otherwise known as 'Murder Homes'. He is a beautiful, strong, positive person, but reading between the lines of some things he's said make my heart sink. We were talking about gross foods, and I told him about this one time my grandmother boiled a whole cow's tongue for dinner and set it on the table whole. I was so disturbed that cried and left the room until dinner ended. His answer: "Was there anything else to eat?"

This is a tiny sliver of painful experiences he's been through because his skin is brown and America is deeply racist. Since meeting this friend, I dove deep into learning US history by reading Martin Luther King, Jr., Richard White, Frederick Douglas. The deeper I go, the more my heart breaks.

So yeah, maybe the club could've handled the privilege test scores better, but imagine if she had to deal with the things other people live with.

PS. And before someone blames his mother for being poor and having children she couldn't afford, take my word for it that his mother is brilliant and you've no place to judge.

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Anonymous wrote:Activities like this just make me angry. My teen had to do one at school and came home so confused because they kept talking about white privelige and so many of the things didn’t apply to him, even though he’s white. It’s a difficult conversation to have with your kid when he’s made to feel embarrassed that he’s white and further embarrassed that he’s not coming from storybook circumstances.

Sounds like the exercise worked. The point of these things is to make your teen question the status quo. Some discomfort is natural, and it'll help DS to perhaps empathize a little with brown-skinned minority kids who might experience this discomfort on a regular basis. BTW, a good teacher would also introduce things like economics, education, etc., and other factors that go into identity.

No one discloses that. The people that arrange these types of exercises are 100% focused on skin color. No one chooses the circumstances they are born into. It should be possible to teach empathy without degrading self- worth.

OP here. It wasn’t focused on race, it was focused on all aspects of privilege- economic privilege, educational privilege, able privilege, heterosexual privilege.
DD is white but lost “points” elsewhere.

Jesus f#cking Christ. I have to now self flagellate because I graduated from school, have the ability to walk and prefer men? You people are insane.

What idiot on the right started this idea that self flagellation is the goal?! You’re the second (or same PP?) to suggest this is the end goal of acknowledging privilege. How stupid can you be? And I’m not the “mean” PP but I have no probably being mean about this at times even knowing it won’t change people’s minds but I feel like you are probably too dense to get to any ways. Instead of flogging yourself, why not just accept that you didn’t get where you are by your bootstraps but rather that as a white, able-bodied, heterosexual you had unearned advantages that helped you get where you are compared to people who aren’t you? It’s about having a little humility and humanity.

Anonymous wrote:Let’s assume, for the sake of argument, that every white person became fully and appropriately aware of white privilege. What would the next step be, politically, and as a matter of policy! for ending white privilege?

Ending all legacy admits to all universities, even private ones. Reparations, possibly, even for people who don't "deserve" it (essentially redistributing wealth from white America to black America). A lot more teeth to anti-discrimination law, with zero attention paid to whether or not someone's livelihood or reputation might be damaged if found guilty. Automatic, public, independent investigations of police shootings. A careful combing of all laws, on every government level, to make sure that even though "neutral," they aren't designed to favor those people already in power.

It would feel a lot like losing privileges to most white people, even though the goal would be undoing the automatice assumption that our current value and power systems are the best ones.

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Anonymous wrote:Activities like this just make me angry. My teen had to do one at school and came home so confused because they kept talking about white privelige and so many of the things didn’t apply to him, even though he’s white. It’s a difficult conversation to have with your kid when he’s made to feel embarrassed that he’s white and further embarrassed that he’s not coming from storybook circumstances.

Sounds like the exercise worked. The point of these things is to make your teen question the status quo. Some discomfort is natural, and it'll help DS to perhaps empathize a little with brown-skinned minority kids who might experience this discomfort on a regular basis. BTW, a good teacher would also introduce things like economics, education, etc., and other factors that go into identity.

No one discloses that. The people that arrange these types of exercises are 100% focused on skin color. No one chooses the circumstances they are born into. It should be possible to teach empathy without degrading self- worth.

OP here. It wasn’t focused on race, it was focused on all aspects of privilege- economic privilege, educational privilege, able privilege, heterosexual privilege.
DD is white but lost “points” elsewhere.

Jesus f#cking Christ. I have to now self flagellate because I graduated from school, have the ability to walk and prefer men? You people are insane.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To be clear, I do think these exercises have their value, and I think privilege is very real. The issue wasn’t so much the concept, but how they went about it and made the scores very “public”

Anyway, DD wasn’t comfortable talking to them in person but emailed the advisor when she got home from school today about why the activity was problematic and how she hopes they’ll reconsider the way they implement such activities in the future.

It's great that your daughter felt comfortable talking to you about this and that she knows you'll support her efforts to raise this with the club advisor. I hope the school recognizes the problem and takes steps to help ensure your daughter feels comfortable continuing in the club and at her school. It sounds like she can make a real contribution by speaking up about the lack of sensitivity.

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Anonymous wrote:Activities like this just make me angry. My teen had to do one at school and came home so confused because they kept talking about white privelige and so many of the things didn’t apply to him, even though he’s white. It’s a difficult conversation to have with your kid when he’s made to feel embarrassed that he’s white and further embarrassed that he’s not coming from storybook circumstances.

It's a difficult conversation, yes. His discomfort is at being confronted with the privilege he never considered he had, even though he has all of it. It's important to overcome that instinct to internalize and say, "Who? Me? I'm not a bad person! How dare you!" and come to terms with what privilege actually means. Your language -- "he's made to feel embarrassed" is troubling. He isn't a victim. And it's incumbent upon you to reinforce that. He needs to listen more, drop his defenses, and not view a discussion about the zeitgeist as some sort of personal attack. And if he has moments where he feels like his input is not valued or that his station in life is being attacked, consider that a lesson in how other members of other races and ethnicities feel frequently in our society.

No, he needs to stand up to these people and say “screw you.”

No, really, he needs to shut up and learn something.

If you sound really mean and as if you want a lose-win solution, why do privileged people in the majority have any incentive to talk to you, or to do what you want? It seems a lot easier just to keep the privilege and enjoy it than to give it to people who are mean.

If you want things to get better peacefully, you need to come up with paths that leave no one worse off and some better off, not paths that leave some better off and some noticeably worse off.

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Anonymous wrote:Activities like this just make me angry. My teen had to do one at school and came home so confused because they kept talking about white privelige and so many of the things didn’t apply to him, even though he’s white. It’s a difficult conversation to have with your kid when he’s made to feel embarrassed that he’s white and further embarrassed that he’s not coming from storybook circumstances.

It's a difficult conversation, yes. His discomfort is at being confronted with the privilege he never considered he had, even though he has all of it. It's important to overcome that instinct to internalize and say, "Who? Me? I'm not a bad person! How dare you!" and come to terms with what privilege actually means. Your language -- "he's made to feel embarrassed" is troubling. He isn't a victim. And it's incumbent upon you to reinforce that. He needs to listen more, drop his defenses, and not view a discussion about the zeitgeist as some sort of personal attack. And if he has moments where he feels like his input is not valued or that his station in life is being attacked, consider that a lesson in how other members of other races and ethnicities feel frequently in our society.

So now white people arent even allowed to be embarrassed? They should just completely deny their own emotions and focus on the plight of those less priveliged?

That is not what I said. What I said was get past the embarrassment and internalization and realize the discussion is not personal. Cognitive dissonance is uncomfortable but it is a necessary first step to enlightenment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Activities like this just make me angry. My teen had to do one at school and came home so confused because they kept talking about white privelige and so many of the things didn’t apply to him, even though he’s white. It’s a difficult conversation to have with your kid when he’s made to feel embarrassed that he’s white and further embarrassed that he’s not coming from storybook circumstances.

It's a difficult conversation, yes. His discomfort is at being confronted with the privilege he never considered he had, even though he has all of it. It's important to overcome that instinct to internalize and say, "Who? Me? I'm not a bad person! How dare you!" and come to terms with what privilege actually means. Your language -- "he's made to feel embarrassed" is troubling. He isn't a victim. And it's incumbent upon you to reinforce that. He needs to listen more, drop his defenses, and not view a discussion about the zeitgeist as some sort of personal attack. And if he has moments where he feels like his input is not valued or that his station in life is being attacked, consider that a lesson in how other members of other races and ethnicities feel frequently in our society.

No, he needs to stand up to these people and say “screw you.”

No, really, he needs to shut up and learn something.

Anonymous wrote:Activities like this just make me angry. My teen had to do one at school and came home so confused because they kept talking about white privelige and so many of the things didn’t apply to him, even though he’s white. It’s a difficult conversation to have with your kid when he’s made to feel embarrassed that he’s white and further embarrassed that he’s not coming from storybook circumstances.

Anonymous wrote:So it's pretty apparent that all this focus on "privilege" in the last few years have only resulted in even more divisions.

Of course. Because white people are willing to accept that black people experience certain disadvantages in this country. We’ve been teaching this in schools for awhile now. What hasn’t been taught or discussed until somewhat more recently is that the corollary to disadvantage is privilege. Getting people to accept that they receive certain unearned advantages (if that term feels better than privilege) is a key part of dismantling the systemic injustice in this country. It’s a lot easier to accept that someone else has been unfairly disadvantaged than to admit you have consequently benefited from unfair advantage.

How old is your child? This info would affect my recommendation considerably.

My children have been taught in their FCPS high school, in formal lessons, that the term “racist” can only apply to whites and “cultural appropriation” is only perpetrated by whites on other cultures. They have been told flat out that it is ok for other races to discriminate (because it has been brought upon whites by their past actions) and to incorporate other cultures into their wardrobes, traditions, and lifestyle choices.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Activities like this just make me angry. My teen had to do one at school and came home so confused because they kept talking about white privelige and so many of the things didn’t apply to him, even though he’s white. It’s a difficult conversation to have with your kid when he’s made to feel embarrassed that he’s white and further embarrassed that he’s not coming from storybook circumstances.

It's a difficult conversation, yes. His discomfort is at being confronted with the privilege he never considered he had, even though he has all of it. It's important to overcome that instinct to internalize and say, "Who? Me? I'm not a bad person! How dare you!" and come to terms with what privilege actually means. Your language -- "he's made to feel embarrassed" is troubling. He isn't a victim. And it's incumbent upon you to reinforce that. He needs to listen more, drop his defenses, and not view a discussion about the zeitgeist as some sort of personal attack. And if he has moments where he feels like his input is not valued or that his station in life is being attacked, consider that a lesson in how other members of other races and ethnicities feel frequently in our society.

So now white people arent even allowed to be embarrassed? They should just completely deny their own emotions and focus on the plight of those less priveliged?

Anonymous wrote:Activities like this just make me angry. My teen had to do one at school and came home so confused because they kept talking about white privelige and so many of the things didn’t apply to him, even though he’s white. It’s a difficult conversation to have with your kid when he’s made to feel embarrassed that he’s white and further embarrassed that he’s not coming from storybook circumstances.

There is a difference between privilege and white privilege. That distinction should have been made clear in any discussion like that.

Let’s assume, for the sake of argument, that every white person became fully and appropriately aware of white privilege. What would the next step be, politically, and as a matter of policy! for ending white privilege?