Anonymous wrote:I mean look at most of the NYT wedding announcements. On the front page right now I see 2 lawyer couples, couples who met in college (both at elite colleges), people who met on dating apps but it turns out one is an investment banker and the other is a lawyer ... high-income men generally aren’t marrying kindergarten teachers or secretaries or retail workers unless those women come from big money and they met through family connections.

Go to a good college, a good grad school (law school or MBA if possible, otherwise something moderately fluffy like HR or communications etc.), and meet a successful guy there. Then after you get married and have a kid, you can take a step back and become a SAHM.

+1

Anonymous wrote:Either come from a family with money, similar to his family, be a self-made wealthy woman, or be ridiculously hot. If you are none of those things, your chances are low.

+1

No one has to know that your family has money, OP.

Either come from a family with money, similar to his family, be a self-made wealthy woman, or be ridiculously hot. If you are none of those things, your chances are low.

I mean look at most of the NYT wedding announcements. On the front page right now I see 2 lawyer couples, couples who met in college (both at elite colleges), people who met on dating apps but it turns out one is an investment banker and the other is a lawyer ... high-income men generally aren’t marrying kindergarten teachers or secretaries or retail workers unless those women come from big money and they met through family connections.

Go to a good college, a good grad school (law school or MBA if possible, otherwise something moderately fluffy like HR or communications etc.), and meet a successful guy there. Then after you get married and have a kid, you can take a step back and become a SAHM.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rich people wear monocles and top hats. maybe start there.

Do this and you will have a monopoly on all the rich men.

This would only work if you won 2nd place in a beauty pageant

Anonymous wrote:Rich people wear monocles and top hats. maybe start there.

Do this and you will have a monopoly on all the rich men.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ambitious, rich guys now want to end up with their coworkers, not their secretaries. Go to an elite grad school, get a high paying job yourself, land a colleague. Then when your career schedules are too much with kids you can slide back into the cushy role you want.

Right-like Bill & Melinda Gates.

Plus needless to say it's never a bad idea to rely on yourself and YOUR income. I really don't get women who treat men as a meal ticket.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ambitious, rich guys now want to end up with their coworkers, not their secretaries. Go to an elite grad school, get a high paying job yourself, land a colleague. Then when your career schedules are too much with kids you can slide back into the cushy role you want.

+1.

Another +1, from the kind of guy you want to attract (but happily married). While a few marry hot secretaries, the senior executives at my firm making $$$ mostly marry mid-level executives. I totally get it; these are gorgeous, fit, incredibly bright, driven women. What's not to like.

Maybe other men want insipid wives, but the men I know with similar educational backgrounds and career trajectories like smart, ambitious women. It can make for conflict in home life, but there is undeniable chemistry.

Most of the people I know in the C-suite are married to homemakers. Indeed, a female CEO of a F500 I formerly worked for fits this bill. I don't believe they explicitly set out to marry stay at home partners. In fact, I think it's the opposite: being married to a SAH partner really frees up the working spouse to be all in at work and get ahead of the pack over the years.

They may be homemakers now but I bet most of them worked high powered jobs beforehand. Smart, ambitious people want their spouse to be smart and ambitious as well. CEOs expect their stay-at-home spouses to run the house like a COO (and provide good genes to their progeny). Best way to marry a smart, educated, ambitious man is to be a smart, educated ambitious woman.

Your bet would be wrong. What’s far more common in my circles is guy married college sweetheart/woman he met in his 20s. She takes the heavy lifting on the domestic front. He can dedicate himself to career and advances because he has more time to work than his peers. It’s why Sheryl Sandberg says one of the most important career decisions is choosing your partner wisely. DC kind of skews this stuff and the scenario you describe is slightly more common in DC because DC is not representative of the rest of the country.

I’ve also seen this work in reverse where the woman works and the man stays home, but obviously that scenario is far less common.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ambitious, rich guys now want to end up with their coworkers, not their secretaries. Go to an elite grad school, get a high paying job yourself, land a colleague. Then when your career schedules are too much with kids you can slide back into the cushy role you want.

+1.

Another +1, from the kind of guy you want to attract (but happily married). While a few marry hot secretaries, the senior executives at my firm making $$$ mostly marry mid-level executives. I totally get it; these are gorgeous, fit, incredibly bright, driven women. What's not to like.

Maybe other men want insipid wives, but the men I know with similar educational backgrounds and career trajectories like smart, ambitious women. It can make for conflict in home life, but there is undeniable chemistry.

Most of the people I know in the C-suite are married to homemakers. Indeed, a female CEO of a F500 I formerly worked for fits this bill. I don't believe they explicitly set out to marry stay at home partners. In fact, I think it's the opposite: being married to a SAH partner really frees up the working spouse to be all in at work and get ahead of the pack over the years.

They may be homemakers now but I bet most of them worked high powered jobs beforehand. Smart, ambitious people want their spouse to be smart and ambitious as well. CEOs expect their stay-at-home spouses to run the house like a COO (and provide good genes to their progeny). Best way to marry a smart, educated, ambitious man is to be a smart, educated ambitious woman.

No, this is not true in many, many cases. Men believe that as long as she has a degree, and it could be any degree, then she is smart enough to marry. For those that are truly rich, their SAHW are not running things, they might hire the maid, pool person, and nanny but the other stuff is done by him. Especially since many of these men cheat of their wives, they are not stupid enough to leave the "real" decisions in the hands of a scorned woman.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ambitious, rich guys now want to end up with their coworkers, not their secretaries. Go to an elite grad school, get a high paying job yourself, land a colleague. Then when your career schedules are too much with kids you can slide back into the cushy role you want.

+1.

Another +1, from the kind of guy you want to attract (but happily married). While a few marry hot secretaries, the senior executives at my firm making $$$ mostly marry mid-level executives. I totally get it; these are gorgeous, fit, incredibly bright, driven women. What's not to like.

Maybe other men want insipid wives, but the men I know with similar educational backgrounds and career trajectories like smart, ambitious women. It can make for conflict in home life, but there is undeniable chemistry.

Most of the people I know in the C-suite are married to homemakers. Indeed, a female CEO of a F500 I formerly worked for fits this bill. I don't believe they explicitly set out to marry stay at home partners. In fact, I think it's the opposite: being married to a SAH partner really frees up the working spouse to be all in at work and get ahead of the pack over the years.

They may be homemakers now but I bet most of them worked high powered jobs beforehand. Smart, ambitious people want their spouse to be smart and ambitious as well. CEOs expect their stay-at-home spouses to run the house like a COO (and provide good genes to their progeny). Best way to marry a smart, educated, ambitious man is to be a smart, educated ambitious woman.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ambitious, rich guys now want to end up with their coworkers, not their secretaries. Go to an elite grad school, get a high paying job yourself, land a colleague. Then when your career schedules are too much with kids you can slide back into the cushy role you want.

+1.

Another +1, from the kind of guy you want to attract (but happily married). While a few marry hot secretaries, the senior executives at my firm making $$$ mostly marry mid-level executives. I totally get it; these are gorgeous, fit, incredibly bright, driven women. What's not to like.

Maybe other men want insipid wives, but the men I know with similar educational backgrounds and career trajectories like smart, ambitious women. It can make for conflict in home life, but there is undeniable chemistry.

Most of the people I know in the C-suite are married to homemakers. Indeed, a female CEO of a F500 I formerly worked for fits this bill. I don't believe they explicitly set out to marry stay at home partners. In fact, I think it's the opposite: being married to a SAH partner really frees up the working spouse to be all in at work and get ahead of the pack over the years.

Interesting. I guess a lot of that is first vs second marriage, and C-Suite vs more generic senior executives.

I work for a massive company, one of the largest in the world. Many of the EVP/GMs of our various businesses go on to become CEOs at other companies when they leave (I can think of 12+ that I know personally). They are running 40,000+ person divisions generating tens of billions of dollars a year in revenue. Those jobs alone are larger than the vast majority of CEO jobs (which is why they can easily leave for CEO roles at other companies). Needless to say, these guys are well compensated. From a relationship perspective, I fit them into three categories:

- The guys who are still married to their first wife, who is a homemaker.
- The bachelors. Some divorced, some never married.
- The guys married to a mid-level company executive, either current or former. Many of these are second marriages, a few are converted bachelors.

I'm surprised at the size of the third bucket. Some of those females leave the company (and work somewhere else / not at all), others stay.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ambitious, rich guys now want to end up with their coworkers, not their secretaries. Go to an elite grad school, get a high paying job yourself, land a colleague. Then when your career schedules are too much with kids you can slide back into the cushy role you want.

+1.

Another +1, from the kind of guy you want to attract (but happily married). While a few marry hot secretaries, the senior executives at my firm making $$$ mostly marry mid-level executives. I totally get it; these are gorgeous, fit, incredibly bright, driven women. What's not to like.

Maybe other men want insipid wives, but the men I know with similar educational backgrounds and career trajectories like smart, ambitious women. It can make for conflict in home life, but there is undeniable chemistry.

Most of the people I know in the C-suite are married to homemakers. Indeed, a female CEO of a F500 I formerly worked for fits this bill. I don't believe they explicitly set out to marry stay at home partners. In fact, I think it's the opposite: being married to a SAH partner really frees up the working spouse to be all in at work and get ahead of the pack over the years.