Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is his right to do this if he really wants. However, ask him what his goal is. Does he think he will learn something more about himself by doing this? He won't. Is he trying to make his mother angry?

Urge him to sit down, clear his head, and figure out what he hopes to gain from this. He says he doesn't care if he's rejected, but if it happens, he will care.

He says he really doesn’t know! I’ve tried everything to convince him he doesn’t need this complete stranger for validation. He’s not budging:

He just doesn’t see that you can’t just call a man out of the blue and drop this bomb and expect to gain anything.

You are right you can't expect anything, but you might be surprised what you get. I have a friend who is very close to her birth family now, and is treated like a family member. Her adopted parents died relatively young somit was great that other people are on this planet who are family.

We adopted. The birthmother's family is amazing and has adopted us as family and amazing relatives to our child. Birthfather's family are all nuts and if we never see them again its too soon. It is nice for kids to have those connections and young adults so its less of a loss but its a bit of a different situation when its an adoption vs. father either didn't know or choose not to be involved.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is his right to do this if he really wants. However, ask him what his goal is. Does he think he will learn something more about himself by doing this? He won't. Is he trying to make his mother angry?

Urge him to sit down, clear his head, and figure out what he hopes to gain from this. He says he doesn't care if he's rejected, but if it happens, he will care.

He says he really doesn’t know! I’ve tried everything to convince him he doesn’t need this complete stranger for validation. He’s not budging:

He just doesn’t see that you can’t just call a man out of the blue and drop this bomb and expect to gain anything.

You are right you can't expect anything, but you might be surprised what you get. I have a friend who is very close to her birth family now, and is treated like a family member. Her adopted parents died relatively young somit was great that other people are on this planet who are family.