MIL needs to put on her big girl pants.

Anonymous wrote:I’m on your side OP. Tell them invite still stands. Host whoever come and enjoy. It’s their loss if they don’t come.

Me too. Everyone will survive.

I’m on your side OP. Tell them invite still stands. Host whoever come and enjoy. It’s their loss if they don’t come.

Do not say "We're hosting Thanksgiving out our house this year". That makes it sounds like you are jockeying to take over the hosting duties from you MIL.

"We're going to try cooking Thanksgiving dinner at our house this year. You all are welcomed to come and be our guinea pigs if you want to. We would love to have you!"

They can then decide whether or not they want to stay at home, go elsewhere or come to your place.

Good for you OP. But be prepared for MIL to continue to lay on the guilt trip and gossiping especially as it gets closer to T-day! You can host once in a while too and if MIL doesn't want to attend for whatever reason, that's her choice. I would let your DH take the lead on talking to his mom about this going forward.

Think of how much everyone will drink to cope with this Thanksgiving dinner.

OP, I’d have let MIL have her tradition. It probably means more to her than you realize.

I'd be very surprised if someone sent an invitation for Thanksgiving dinner in April and I probably would not want to commit myself so far ahead of time. People don't send out wedding invitations this early, and a wedding is a much bigger event than a Thanksgiving dinner.

In a lot of families, the norm is for the younger generation to gather at the home of the older generation until the older generation is past the point of being able to handle the cooking and cleaning involved.

It seems unusual to invite people to a holiday dinner so many months ahead of time. Is the rest of the family aware that this invitation was issued without checking with the usual host family first?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It looks like BIL and cousin will have to choose MIL or OP's house. Get ready for WW3.

They already accepted our invitation.

For now.

OP's MIL has found the thread and is plotting food poisoning/flooding OP's house so she can swoop in and take back "her" holiday!

OP you don’t know what’s going on behind your back and who is actually coming. It’s April after all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It looks like BIL and cousin will have to choose MIL or OP's house. Get ready for WW3.

They already accepted our invitation.

For now.

Anonymous wrote:It looks like BIL and cousin will have to choose MIL or OP's house. Get ready for WW3.

They already accepted our invitation.

It looks like BIL and cousin will have to choose MIL or OP's house. Get ready for WW3.

Anonymous wrote:OP, what does everyone else say? Are you sure the BIL, cousin, Aunt/Uncle will be coming to your house? It sounds like your MIL is assuming they will come to her?

OP here. Thank you, this is a good point. Everyone else is excited for a change, especially because all the cousins always have tons of fun at our house, which is open/kid-friendly and has more sleeping space for overnight guests. We all make it work at MIL's house, but we have more room for people to sleep comfortably, and the kids like playing basketball in our driveway, playing with the wii, etc. This is a closer/more convenient trip for the single cousin, nearly equidistant for everyone else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are 365 days a year that you could host a nice meal at your house and bring out the china, etc. Why does it have to be Thanksgiving that your MIL hosts every year? Just because you claimed it first doesn’t mean you automatically get to host. Also, I would be incredibly annoyed about someone bringing up Thanksgiving in April and doing that makes you seem nuts. Put it in perspective - it’s a turkey dinner.

LOL. Good one. Tell it to MIL, especially given the scores of holidays MIL has already been able to host. It’s time to share.

Maybe she should share but you are basically causing an enormous rift that will likely last until Thanksgiving solely because of the location. Who cares this much. Even if you “win” and get to host it’s going to be miserable with so much fighting and taking sides.

OP here. I didn't write the point above that you are responding to.