Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$40K. My ex husband and I were unable to save a lot of money for college. She goes to a flagship that costs about $28K year. We warned her, but it was her decision.

You warned her about what?

The debt...?

You (parents) didn't save any? Poor kid.

We saved some but not enough to fund all of a college education. Between a divorce, a yearlong battle with breast cancer, several years spent out of the workforce...the list goes on...there was often barely enough for me to pay the mortgage and put food on the table, let alone put money in a college account.

I know, my poor kid. Probably should've just found a new mom, eh?

Your attitude is lousy. Like another poster said, why did you expect her to do? She went to a state college. Hopefully she can be a better mom than you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$40K. My ex husband and I were unable to save a lot of money for college. She goes to a flagship that costs about $28K year. We warned her, but it was her decision.

You warned her about what?

The debt...?

You (parents) didn't save any? Poor kid.

We saved some but not enough to fund all of a college education. Between a divorce, a yearlong battle with breast cancer, several years spent out of the workforce...the list goes on...there was often barely enough for me to pay the mortgage and put food on the table, let alone put money in a college account.

I know, my poor kid. Probably should've just found a new mom, eh?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$40K. My ex husband and I were unable to save a lot of money for college. She goes to a flagship that costs about $28K year. We warned her, but it was her decision.

You warned her about what?

The debt...?

You (parents) didn't save any? Poor kid.

We saved some but not enough to fund all of a college education. Between a divorce, a yearlong battle with breast cancer, several years spent out of the workforce...the list goes on...there was often barely enough for me to pay the mortgage and put food on the table, let alone put money in a college account.

I know, my poor kid. Probably should've just found a new mom, eh?

Anonymous wrote:I think education is the parents responsible as long as it's feasible. Saddling your offspring with debt before they are employed is a recipe for hardship the rest of their lives.

Anonymous wrote:

So many words. So bottom line is you don’t want to pay. And your child will appreciate you at some point. Got it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think we're a responsible family but we have a totally different viewpoint to debt...no mortgage, no car loans, no credit card balances and no college loans. I have no interest in DC being an expert in debt management just cash flow management and savings. We are working on grad school as a family team although it would be lovely if that were employer paid!

I'm the moral cudgeling PP above and think this is a fine approach too. But I own a business (actually owned, sold it in December--yea!) and that probably has informed why I make a distinction between debt as a powerful leverage tool for appreciating assets/opportunities (real estate, capital investments, education) that increase your wealth. Thus I'm fine with student loans, mortgages but have never had a car loan nor carry a credit card balance. My son seems to lean entrepreneurial too so I think he'll benefit from this nuanced view of debt. But if you're not a business owner or a CFO it's probably safer to have your approach.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was responding to the guy who says he has more than enough money saved for college but thinks pain of debt somehow makes his kid appreciate his place in life better. I think it’s selfish and greedy. It’s so easy to fall into poverty and very hard to fight your way back up to a reasonable level of comfort. A college degree is a keystone towards economic stability. It should not be used by a parent of means as a moral cudgel. Life itself will beat a lesson into almost everyone.

Selfish, greedy, moral cudgeling PP here (and I'm a she not a he). I don't view my approach as a moral cudgel and don't think debt is pain. Debt is a financial tool that most adults use that needs to be learned to managed. In my view, if kids graduate with a little student loan they won't may not as quickly take on too much car loan, or rent an apartment beyond their means. They will more likely develop work-arounds like have roommates at an age when most of their peers will also have college loans. They will likely job hunt a bit more intensely. I hope a bit of debt will help him learn basic financial skills tied to the reality that he will need to fund his life and that I'm not rich enough to ensure he is in perpetuity in the middle/upper middle class. I had similar amounts of student loans for my undergrad and grad school and I didn't see it as an undue burden (and I was a philosophy major so not the most immediate obvious employment!).

And, yes, while we do have enough money saved--we have more than one kid and-- who knows the future--we are not rich--just UMC. Also, it's not like I'm going to let my kids fall into poverty if I am able. Moreover, in my view a debt level of 1/2-1 year's entry level salary paid back over the course of 10 years is more likely to help an educated person avoid poverty than push them into it by establishing the necessary habit of living slightly below your current means.

As for moral cudgeling, I guess I do hope it does give a small sense of appreciation for the experiences of those who don't have all the same initial advantages. I see consequences of the lack of this empathy around me all the time in how people talk about public policy and poverty. How the depth of their own privileges and advantages are invisible to them when they judge others.

Anyway this approach works for us: I have a great relationship with my son. We've talked through this and he thinks it makes sense. We talked about how he could alternately come up with the money--(e.g., working more while in college, going to a cheaper school) if he's uncomfortable with taking on debt. He likes looking at/thinking about financials and seems to like the feeling that we treat him as an adult. He also seems pretty balanced and alert to the ways that he is advantaged by being raised UMC. His closest friends are, for the most part, richer than us, so he really could have developed a different stance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was responding to the guy who says he has more than enough money saved for college but thinks pain of debt somehow makes his kid appreciate his place in life better. I think it’s selfish and greedy. It’s so easy to fall into poverty and very hard to fight your way back up to a reasonable level of comfort. A college degree is a keystone towards economic stability. It should not be used by a parent of means as a moral cudgel. Life itself will beat a lesson into almost everyone.

Selfish, greedy, moral cudgeling PP here (and I'm a she not a he). I don't view my approach as a moral cudgel and don't think debt is pain. Debt is a financial tool that most adults use that needs to be learned to managed. In my view, if kids graduate with a little student loan they won't may not as quickly take on too much car loan, or rent an apartment beyond their means. They will more likely develop work-arounds like have roommates at an age when most of their peers will also have college loans. They will likely job hunt a bit more intensely. I hope a bit of debt will help him learn basic financial skills tied to the reality that he will need to fund his life and that I'm not rich enough to ensure he is in perpetuity in the middle/upper middle class. I had similar amounts of student loans for my undergrad and grad school and I didn't see it as an undue burden (and I was a philosophy major so not the most immediate obvious employment!).

And, yes, while we do have enough money saved--we have more than one kid and-- who knows the future--we are not rich--just UMC. Also, it's not like I'm going to let my kids fall into poverty if I am able. Moreover, in my view a debt level of 1/2-1 year's entry level salary paid back over the course of 10 years is more likely to help an educated person avoid poverty than push them into it by establishing the necessary habit of living slightly below your current means.

As for moral cudgeling, I guess I do hope it does give a small sense of appreciation for the experiences of those who don't have all the same initial advantages. I see consequences of the lack of this empathy around me all the time in how people talk about public policy and poverty. How the depth of their own privileges and advantages are invisible to them when they judge others.

Anyway this approach works for us: I have a great relationship with my son. We've talked through this and he thinks it makes sense. We talked about how he could alternately come up with the money--(e.g., working more while in college, going to a cheaper school) if he's uncomfortable with taking on debt. He likes looking at/thinking about financials and seems to like the feeling that we treat him as an adult. He also seems pretty balanced and alert to the ways that he is advantaged by being raised UMC. His closest friends are, for the most part, richer than us, so he really could have developed a different stance.

Anonymous wrote:I think we're a responsible family but we have a totally different viewpoint to debt...no mortgage, no car loans, no credit card balances and no college loans. I have no interest in DC being an expert in debt management just cash flow management and savings. We are working on grad school as a family team although it would be lovely if that were employer paid!

Anonymous wrote:I was responding to the guy who says he has more than enough money saved for college but thinks pain of debt somehow makes his kid appreciate his place in life better. I think it’s selfish and greedy. It’s so easy to fall into poverty and very hard to fight your way back up to a reasonable level of comfort. A college degree is a keystone towards economic stability. It should not be used by a parent of means as a moral cudgel. Life itself will beat a lesson into almost everyone.