OP I'd definitely cite both cost and little kids when telling your family you can't go. Those seem to be your two reasons. Even if your parents offer to pay, they cant' change the ages of your children. Maybe you could go for 3 days? It wouldn't change the cost for your parents (if they pay for your portion anyway), but would make your life a bit more sane.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This seems like it should be a pretty cheap trip to me, no? Like under $200 a night per family (probably a lot under)

Cheap trip but OP stated they have a lot of debt

Ehhh oops, we do not have a lot of debt. We are paying off a loan, which sucks. And we are simultaneously saving for a house and a car.

And we do not WANT to spend our money on this. It'll be $200 a night to NOT sleep. The 4 of us will sleep in the same room and that means we will get no sleep.

Then you should have known that immediately upon someone suggesting this vacation. Now you just seem flaky and rude to your family.

THIS IS WHY I POSTED! I already said above that we had said we were onboard and even suggested some homes. But in all fairness, we never thought this vacation would actually happen (we barely speak to each other as is). Now it looks like it might actually happen so we have to say no.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NO! Are you nuts?! Why on EARTH would any intelligent person go into debt for a SECOND home?

Huh?

It's a family beach house where you vacation, right? If you would have to go into debt to pay for it, you can't afford it. Just accept you can't afford a vacation this year and move on with life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This seems like it should be a pretty cheap trip to me, no? Like under $200 a night per family (probably a lot under)

Cheap trip but OP stated they have a lot of debt

Ehhh oops, we do not have a lot of debt. We are paying off a loan, which sucks. And we are simultaneously saving for a house and a car.

And we do not WANT to spend our money on this. It'll be $200 a night to NOT sleep. The 4 of us will sleep in the same room and that means we will get no sleep.

Then you should have known that immediately upon someone suggesting this vacation. Now you just seem flaky and rude to your family.

Anonymous wrote:NO! Are you nuts?! Why on EARTH would any intelligent person go into debt for a SECOND home?

Huh?

NO! Are you nuts?! Why on EARTH would any intelligent person go into debt for a SECOND home?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg this is the most obvious no ever.

It's not, though.

The problem is that we should have said no right away. But now it's in the actual planning part: picking a house and the week: and NOW we have to say no. I feel like we let it go on too long.

We have not paid for anything, though. No deposits.

O.k. now IS the time to say no to this. Say no before anyone puts down deposit money.

Family should not be pressuring you into overspending like that. It is o.k. to say no. In fact, that is the right thing to do in your situation - you can not afford this.

OP here and they are absolutely NOT pressuring us.

In fact, I've even helped to find the house! STUPID ME! It's only now that I'm thinking "wait. This is going to cost $1K and I don't even really like my family and OMG do I want to take my babies to the beach and they won't sleep for a week and OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE."

Hold on. If a 1k vacation is going to throw you into debt, you are living way too close to the edge. But apparently you didn't even know this until you really sat down and thought about it?

Off topic but a person who is good with money sure as hell knows that they can't afford to spend 1k on anything. They would also know that an outer banks vacation would at least cost 1k, just based on common sense.

This is why you are having financial problems.

Um...gee thanks. We are very good with money. I guess it wouldn't put us into debt, but rather would take away our savings for a house downpayment and second car. We are in saving mode and do not have the margin for a $1500 vacation.

And no, I really didnt know that a beach vacation at the OBX costs that much. Everyone has been there and those stupid stickers are everywhere. I didn't know it was so expensive (but we are new to the this coast).

+1 OP. Ignore the posts that are not helpful. $1,500 is a lot of money

Thanks so much. I feel like this is going to get derailed into how we are horrible people who hate our family and are terrible with money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This seems like it should be a pretty cheap trip to me, no? Like under $200 a night per family (probably a lot under)

Cheap trip but OP stated they have a lot of debt

Ehhh oops, we do not have a lot of debt. We are paying off a loan, which sucks. And we are simultaneously saving for a house and a car.

And we do not WANT to spend our money on this. It'll be $200 a night to NOT sleep. The 4 of us will sleep in the same room and that means we will get no sleep.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg this is the most obvious no ever.

It's not, though.

The problem is that we should have said no right away. But now it's in the actual planning part: picking a house and the week: and NOW we have to say no. I feel like we let it go on too long.

We have not paid for anything, though. No deposits.

O.k. now IS the time to say no to this. Say no before anyone puts down deposit money.

Family should not be pressuring you into overspending like that. It is o.k. to say no. In fact, that is the right thing to do in your situation - you can not afford this.

OP here and they are absolutely NOT pressuring us.

In fact, I've even helped to find the house! STUPID ME! It's only now that I'm thinking "wait. This is going to cost $1K and I don't even really like my family and OMG do I want to take my babies to the beach and they won't sleep for a week and OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE."

Hold on. If a 1k vacation is going to throw you into debt, you are living way too close to the edge. But apparently you didn't even know this until you really sat down and thought about it?

Off topic but a person who is good with money sure as hell knows that they can't afford to spend 1k on anything. They would also know that an outer banks vacation would at least cost 1k, just based on common sense.

This is why you are having financial problems.

Um...gee thanks. We are very good with money. I guess it wouldn't put us into debt, but rather would take away our savings for a house downpayment and second car. We are in saving mode and do not have the margin for a $1500 vacation.

And no, I really didnt know that a beach vacation at the OBX costs that much. Everyone has been there and those stupid stickers are everywhere. I didn't know it was so expensive (but we are new to the this coast).

+1 OP. Ignore the posts that are not helpful. $1,500 is a lot of money

Anonymous wrote:This seems like it should be a pretty cheap trip to me, no? Like under $200 a night per family (probably a lot under)

Cheap trip but OP stated they have a lot of debt

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg this is the most obvious no ever.

It's not, though.

The problem is that we should have said no right away. But now it's in the actual planning part: picking a house and the week: and NOW we have to say no. I feel like we let it go on too long.

We have not paid for anything, though. No deposits.

O.k. now IS the time to say no to this. Say no before anyone puts down deposit money.

Family should not be pressuring you into overspending like that. It is o.k. to say no. In fact, that is the right thing to do in your situation - you can not afford this.

OP here and they are absolutely NOT pressuring us.

In fact, I've even helped to find the house! STUPID ME! It's only now that I'm thinking "wait. This is going to cost $1K and I don't even really like my family and OMG do I want to take my babies to the beach and they won't sleep for a week and OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE."

Hold on. If a 1k vacation is going to throw you into debt, you are living way too close to the edge. But apparently you didn't even know this until you really sat down and thought about it?

Off topic but a person who is good with money sure as hell knows that they can't afford to spend 1k on anything. They would also know that an outer banks vacation would at least cost 1k, just based on common sense.

This is why you are having financial problems.

Um...gee thanks. We are very good with money. I guess it wouldn't put us into debt, but rather would take away our savings for a house downpayment and second car. We are in saving mode and do not have the margin for a $1500 vacation.

And no, I really didnt know that a beach vacation at the OBX costs that much. Everyone has been there and those stupid stickers are everywhere. I didn't know it was so expensive (but we are new to the this coast).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg this is the most obvious no ever.

It's not, though.

The problem is that we should have said no right away. But now it's in the actual planning part: picking a house and the week: and NOW we have to say no. I feel like we let it go on too long.

We have not paid for anything, though. No deposits.

O.k. now IS the time to say no to this. Say no before anyone puts down deposit money.

Family should not be pressuring you into overspending like that. It is o.k. to say no. In fact, that is the right thing to do in your situation - you can not afford this.

OP here and they are absolutely NOT pressuring us.

In fact, I've even helped to find the house! STUPID ME! It's only now that I'm thinking "wait. This is going to cost $1K and I don't even really like my family and OMG do I want to take my babies to the beach and they won't sleep for a week and OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE."

Hold on. If a 1k vacation is going to throw you into debt, you are living way too close to the edge. But apparently you didn't even know this until you really sat down and thought about it?

Off topic but a person who is good with money sure as hell knows that they can't afford to spend 1k on anything. They would also know that an outer banks vacation would at least cost 1k, just based on common sense.

This is why you are having financial problems.

If you truly cannot afford but your parents will pay for-you teally should go. All the kids are kind of young but if you go into trip knowing that it is about family time-not resort living-enjoy what you can but strategize to make it as easy as posdible. Tell everyone ahead of time that you’ll be out on beach only once a day. Let them know you’re going to try and keepkids on normal schedule too but who know! Maybe your parents will stay at house one afternoon at nap time and you & DH can sit on beach by yourselves, maybe go out w/siblings for drink one night or the cousins play together and begin to form strong ties.

You’ll be eating no matter where you are so factor that into costs and outer banks is easy just to eat st home/cheaply.

It is both. We cannot afford it (and we don’t live lavishly so it’s not they’ll be like “oh they can’t do OBX but look at their new Lexus!”) AND we do not want to do a beach vacation with two small babies, essentially.

We will say both: we cannot afford it, and our children are not at the right age for a beach trip.

My parents will say they’ll pay for it and help us, though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the real topic is -

My parents want a family vacation since we've never had one. I agree in principal, but when push comes to shove I'm really not into the idea in fact and want to get out of it. Oh and by the way, I'd happily go into debt for somewhere that I found exciting, but I don't like the location that they suggested. And I'll feel guilty if I don't go along with the family vacation thing, but I'll be miserable if I do.


Do you have decent communication with your parents? Could you tell them that a family vacation in a shared house is just going to be rough for you until your kids are better sleepers?

Yup, this is it.

And we have good communication, but I am NOT cancelling this trip because of bad sleepers or we'll never hear the end of it. We can explain about the money, which is not a lie at all. We cannot afford the trip.

(but we'd go into debt for a weekend away in Cozumel without the kids, ya know?)

Well, if you tell them you can't afford this trip, you'd better not go into debt for the Cozumel getaway you can't afford, either. Because then you're admitting that you just didn't want to vacation with them, and they will take it for the snub it is.

If you don't want to go, and you say you can't afford it, be prepared for them to propose some way of reducing the cost. If you just don't want to go on a beach vacation this year, then say so.