It sounds like your friend is hot even if you don't think so. Hot women get attention and dates even moreso if they have good personalities. Seems your friend has all above.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like she's not constantly preoccupied with what other people think of her. That kind of confidence is attractive to many. Insecurity and "trying too hard" is unappealing.

- woman

+1

Your friend probably has a great personality, to boot.

Be yourself OP. Unless you are a royal bitch, then don’t.

Pp here. Actually, do be yourself. Men aren’t stupid.

Anonymous wrote:Its simple: she probably cooks, cleans and good with kids. All the things man are looking for. High maintance girls become boring very fast.

+1

No man wants a shallow, bossy wife who acts like she is “selling her resume to get in the door”. Men see through that. See PPs post about the bored guy. Men want a decent human being, not someone who is going to burn through his paycheck.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like she's not constantly preoccupied with what other people think of her. That kind of confidence is attractive to many. Insecurity and "trying too hard" is unappealing.

- woman

+1

Your friend probably has a great personality, to boot.

Be yourself OP. Unless you are a royal bitch, then don’t.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, she is a nanny. Certain men need to feel superior to their mate. Hence the concept of men marrying down. She needs to be saved. Its not how she looks, certain men will not marry on their level or above.

They do not care about your salary.

--A woman

Except men check her out before knowing her job. It’s the OPs focus on her own salary that is troubling.

Precisely! This has zero percent relevance to your appeal to me. Just last night I was out and the (slightly inebriated, it seemed) woman at the table next to us was talking on and ON about her job. It was clear she's very impressed with herself and expected it should be a huge selling point to the guy she was with. When we sat down she was talking about her "career path", and I tuned in almost 10 minutes later to hear her comment, "I mean, I wouldn't be interested in a LATERAL move...". You should've seen the poor guy's face, he looked so bored he could fall asleep. I was cringing hard for this (objectively attractive!) woman. She was oblivious and truly seemed to think she was reeling him in and impressing him - I am guessing that's your issue too. Oblivious. Your friend is (obviously) more attractive than you think and exudes positive, sexual energy. You are over there feeling jealous and petty and judgy and indignant, thinking men should bow down and rank you higher when they learn about your income. Just wrong, that's not how they work

It's the energy. I have some friends who I consider to be very unattractive and they always have a handsome successful guy. I have friends who are gorgeous who can't buy a date. It's their energy.

I have lots of divorced friends who've really struggled to find guys. I found an amazing guy a month after my divorce. People always mention my energy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women evaluate attractiveness differently than men.

I've noticed that women seem to be drawn to people that look sort of "impressive" or well-put-together. I think men are wired to see through that since they are more focused on fertility queues and traits that make someone a good mother.

A "plain" but cute woman who has a sweet personality would be highly attractive to most men. The fact that she is a nanny might even be a plus since most men are less concerned about a woman's earning potential and it means that she's good with kids.

But....but....everything I read on DCUM tells me men don't want kids, women just force them to have kids!

I don't think men are literally thinking "Oh. She's a nanny, therefore she will do a good job of raising our potential offspring." Men are just instinctively attracted to women who have genuinely sweet, nurturing personalities. It's the male corollary to women who are attracted to men who are confident and seem like "good providers."

Its simple: she probably cooks, cleans and good with kids. All the things man are looking for. High maintance girls become boring very fast.

I guess it depends on how you define "plain."

A woman's definition of "plain" could include low-key "girl-next-door" types that men find attractive but women see as bland.

Think Gwyneth Paltrow. Women are perpetually baffled by her ability to get A+ boyfriends. They just see her looks as "OK." But she is attractive to men.

Anonymous wrote:Women evaluate attractiveness differently than men.

I've noticed that women seem to be drawn to people that look sort of "impressive" or well-put-together. I think men are wired to see through that since they are more focused on fertility queues and traits that make someone a good mother.

A "plain" but cute woman who has a sweet personality would be highly attractive to most men. The fact that she is a nanny might even be a plus since most men are less concerned about a woman's earning potential and it means that she's good with kids.

But....but....everything I read on DCUM tells me men don't want kids, women just force them to have kids!

Women evaluate attractiveness differently than men.

I've noticed that women seem to be drawn to people that look sort of "impressive" or well-put-together. I think men are wired to see through that since they are more focused on fertility queues and traits that make someone a good mother.

A "plain" but cute woman who has a sweet personality would be highly attractive to most men. The fact that she is a nanny might even be a plus since most men are less concerned about a woman's earning potential and it means that she's good with kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always find it odd on these threads when people assert that men in general don't care about a woman's career or earning potential. That is not true IME and runs counter to trends of assortive making. Most of the men I know from boarding school, college, and law school are married to women with post-graduate degrees and professional careers. That said, if men routinely check out OP's friend in the street she's obviously attractive. Physical attraction doesn't depend on an assessment of a person's potential as a long-term mate.

This is simply because they ran around in their social circle with educated women. It’s not because they got hard over a JD.

Well, yes. But it's unlikely that uneducated women would enter their social circle. I do know people who nannied as a side hustle in college or grad school, but I don't know anyone who did that as a long-term job, nor do I know anyone without a college degree, and I know most of my friends would not view such a person as a potential partner. This has nothing to do with OP's friend specifically since I don't know her situation; it's more of a general observation.

Wow. Your world is so narrow.

I have known two women like this in my life. One was a school friend and always had long-term relationships that would eventually end, and within days had a new LT guy. Like they were waiting their turn. Another was a room mate, and guys heads would do a 180 as soon as she entered a room. Both are very petite, very pretty faces with or without make up and had shapely bottoms (big IMO, but I guess that's what guys like).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is she's not actually plain - she probably has some kind of features or overall impact that is very striking, but you don't see.

+1
Plain women don't garner that type of attention from men.

+2

To the posters telling us about your temperament and blow job/ listening skills that drive men wild despite your lack of makeup .... I have no doubt you're correct. But! If you read op's posts, her friend hasn't gotten to that point yet. The clearly not-plain woman is causing men to walk into doors and she's never said a word to them.

It sounds like she's not constantly preoccupied with what other people think of her. That kind of confidence is attractive to many. Insecurity and "trying too hard" is unappealing.

- woman