I have a close friend in your situation op.

I don’t know why some people have piled on angrily here. You asked for advice, and they gave it to you; but I’m sad to see the advice given with a side of snark.

I agree an official diagnosis will assist everyone here.

Good luck, op!

Anonymous wrote:ADHD adult woman here: My parents did the wait and see until I hit sophomore year of high school, because I was smart enough to just work 3x as hard as my classmates for average grades. I looked ok on paper but I had no friends, no self-esteem, hated myself for struggling with things my classmates found easy, and attempted suicide. A lot of kids who don’t get treated for ADHD start self-medicating with drugs and alcohol in HS/college.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a “I wish we had waited longer to try meds for our kid bc no med worked for him” post here. The general consensus tends to be that parents regret waiting so long. If your child was having seizures, and changing diet/habits reduced them a little bit medicine stopped them completely, why would you let your child suffer and deny them medicine? Are you going to try organic supplements instead of chemo if your kid has cancer?

^^^
No one knew what it was when I was growing up. My parents just assumed I was slow and gave up on me. I ended up graduating from college with honors and doing well in my career but the meds help enormously.

Also, while ADHD meds can cause anxiety, the can also help. As an adult with ADHD I have far less anxiety when I am medicated because I know I will be able to focus and get things done. I assume that a kid would feel this tenfold since so much of their day is about compliance and there is probably a lot of anxiety about not being able to do what's asked of him.

Had a dear friend whose son clearly had some issues, probably ADHD. She swore she would never medicate him, that was poison, would artificially change him, etc. Child was constantly in trouble, disliked by other kids and adults. Wouldn’t listen to directions, acted out when corrected or with attempts to redirect or control his behavior. Got his driving license, killed himself when lost control and drove into a tree head on before he was out of high school.

Would have been far better to have him in early diagnosis/treatment - he would have had a better quality life, kids would have liked playing with him, adults would have enjoyed his company. He might still be alive. You can’t wish this away, or pretend it away - it’s your job as a parent to act in your child’s best interest. Neglecting medical and emotional needs is neglect, plain and simple. Help him to have a better quality of life by having him evaluated and listening to medical advice/counsel.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you to those who provided helpful resources. He likely also has anxiety, so meds are not a good choice. He is above grade level in reading and math, so not struggling. I will look into testing for over summer break.

Great job making this all about you and your convenience!

That’s in 10 weeks. He is exceling at school (in 1st grade and outperforming those redshirted). I have received no concerns from the teacher, so yeah it can wait until June so I don’t have to pull him out of school. You all are too much.

Your headline is about growing impatient and your OP talks about losing your mind. That sounded like things were pretty serious because of issues at home, not because of school. So forgive us if we thought things were worse than they really are.

But even if they aren't that bad right now, I'd still recommend not to wait for a diagnosis. It can take a while to arrange testing, get the report, find a doctor or therapist you like and find effective treatment. Meanwhile, things can go south in a hurry.