PP, how is tinder treating you? Is it tough out there for single 40 year old women?

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Anonymous wrote:I hate that my wife kept her name. It's one thing I would change about her and our marriage if I could. It's embarrassing to me and makes me sad that we will never be able to send out Christmas cards from the (last name)

Are you a dude? Do you have monogrammed towels? WTF?

Haha point taken! I've never sent out christmas cards (yet), but it was just a tangible way of giving an example of not being the (last name) family .. instead we are (first name and first name)

Hope you get what I meant

My social milieu is about 50/50 keepers/takers. As for the Christmas cards, you write "Love, the Smith/Jones family."

I have no problem with women keeping their names, but I absolutely see PP's point. My best friend kept her name and it really bothers her husband for that reason. As a kid I hated when my friends' moms had different last names...it was awkward ("Thank you Mr. Williams and Mrs...I mean Miss Bridges?") and I just avoided saying their names

To be honest (and I can be since this is an anonymous forum), I'd rather not send cards at all than send them from a Smith/Jones family

And if my wife ever corrected someone who called her Mrs. Smith instead of Mrs. Jones when our kids are named Smith .. I'd feel pretty lame.

Jesus Christ, the two previous posts are the ultimate in snowflakery. How do people like you manage to make it through life?

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate that my wife kept her name. It's one thing I would change about her and our marriage if I could. It's embarrassing to me and makes me sad that we will never be able to send out Christmas cards from the (last name)

Are you a dude? Do you have monogrammed towels? WTF?

Haha point taken! I've never sent out christmas cards (yet), but it was just a tangible way of giving an example of not being the (last name) family .. instead we are (first name and first name)

Hope you get what I meant

My social milieu is about 50/50 keepers/takers. As for the Christmas cards, you write "Love, the Smith/Jones family."

I have no problem with women keeping their names, but I absolutely see PP's point. My best friend kept her name and it really bothers her husband for that reason. As a kid I hated when my friends' moms had different last names...it was awkward ("Thank you Mr. Williams and Mrs...I mean Miss Bridges?") and I just avoided saying their names

To be honest (and I can be since this is an anonymous forum), I'd rather not send cards at all than send them from a Smith/Jones family

And if my wife ever corrected someone who called her Mrs. Smith instead of Mrs. Jones when our kids are named Smith .. I'd feel pretty lame.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate that my wife kept her name. It's one thing I would change about her and our marriage if I could. It's embarrassing to me and makes me sad that we will never be able to send out Christmas cards from the (last name)

Are you a dude? Do you have monogrammed towels? WTF?

Haha point taken! I've never sent out christmas cards (yet), but it was just a tangible way of giving an example of not being the (last name) family .. instead we are (first name and first name)

Hope you get what I meant

My social milieu is about 50/50 keepers/takers. As for the Christmas cards, you write "Love, the Smith/Jones family."

I have no problem with women keeping their names, but I absolutely see PP's point. My best friend kept her name and it really bothers her husband for that reason. As a kid I hated when my friends' moms had different last names...it was awkward ("Thank you Mr. Williams and Mrs...I mean Miss Bridges?") and I just avoided saying their names

I think in a lot of places it is seen as her not being "all in" on the marriage. This area has a lot of highly educated women...but it also has a LOT of divorces, we can't pretend that's not true

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate that my wife kept her name. It's one thing I would change about her and our marriage if I could. It's embarrassing to me and makes me sad that we will never be able to send out Christmas cards from the (last name)

Are you a dude? Do you have monogrammed towels? WTF?

Haha point taken! I've never sent out christmas cards (yet), but it was just a tangible way of giving an example of not being the (last name) family .. instead we are (first name and first name)

Hope you get what I meant

My social milieu is about 50/50 keepers/takers. As for the Christmas cards, you write "Love, the Smith/Jones family."

If I had not wanted children, I would have kept my name. I went through a little period of mourning when I changed it, but I am so so glad I did.

Anonymous wrote:Haha! You're right. So this debate is settled. Women who keep their names make bitches out of their husbands

Nope, the husbands are doing that to themselves.

Anonymous wrote:Don't care if women change their names, don't care if they keep them. I only judge people who have an opinion on the choices of others in this regard and yes, this includes the male PPs pissed at their wives for not changing their names. Don't like having different names? You change yours.

Yup. If you want to have the same last name as your wife, change your last name. Oh, you don't want to? But she should? Think about what you're saying, and then shut up about it.

I know couples where both people hyphenated their names, and I know couples where they created a new last name, and I know couples where the woman took the man's last name, and I know couples where the woman kept her own name. I really don't give any of these people's choices a second thought.

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Anonymous wrote:Married 30 years. Did not change my name. I think wonen who do are silly and weak, and look pretty dumb when they are divorced.

Yes, it’s the divorce thing that gets me. You are left with someone else’s name, having abandoned your own.

Abandoned their fathers’ name, you mean.

Not really, it is the name we have had since birth.

+1

Why is it that a man's last name somehow belongs to him, and a woman's last name is her father's? My last name is the name I've had since I was born. It's the same as my father's, but it's mine, too.

Haha! You're right. So this debate is settled. Women who keep their names make bitches out of their husbands

Anonymous wrote:Easy to say "change yours" but I already talked about why that isn't a great option

Because they'll look like "a bitch"? Sorry but if you're whining on DCUM about your wife not changing her name, you already are one.

Easy to say "change yours" but I already talked about why that isn't a great option

Don't care if women change their names, don't care if they keep them. I only judge people who have an opinion on the choices of others in this regard and yes, this includes the male PPs pissed at their wives for not changing their names. Don't like having different names? You change yours.

Anonymous wrote:Am one of them. Think nothing of it. Wonder a little about the women who change their names, though.

Easy there. You do you, I'll do me. Ok?

I changed my name. I knew my kids would get my DH's last name, and I wanted to share a last name with them. So I changed my name. Not a big deal to me.

My sister did not change her name. My SIL (brother's wife) did not change her name. I completely support their decisions and don't think they are any less committed to their husbands because of it. But neither of them share a last name with their children, which was important to me. They both had better/more established careers with their maiden names, so I think it was trade off that made sense for them.

To each their own. The best part about living now is being able to CHOOSE.