Anonymous wrote:Your friend is weird but she most definitely did not invite herself on your vacation. She booked a vacation at he same place and time as you just as, presumably, many people you don't know have done without being accused of inviting themselves.

It's up to you if you want to spend time with her or not, but you can say no or that you're spending time as a family.

She sure did invite herself. No way around it and OP said it's a small resort. OP wants to spend time with her family, but the problem is she'll be running into her on and off. They sit at the pool, she comes over and sits with them. What can she say then?

OP let us know if you were able to change your plans!

I actually know someone that this happened to -- wasn't a long vacation, more like a long weekend. My aunt/uncle booked a long weekend with their kids -- both of whom were headed off to college/moving states for a new job after college so the parents wanted to spend 4 solid days with just the kids. Forget where they picked but it was something like Savannah Ga or Charleston SC. Mom happens to mention to a friend they're headed to that place for next weekend, friend curiously asks where they're staying -- next thing they know friend books her and her DH a room at the same small hotel and expects to go sightseeing, eating meals etc. The kids were LIVID and acted like typical standoffish 18 and 22 yr olds bc they had this random lady and her DH in their faces when they really just wanted to hang out the 4 of them. Last time that happened as the couple found the kids rude!

OP -- only way I'd be ok with this is if it was Disney which is so big that you can easily be there with neighbors/coworkers etc. and never see them unless you make specific plans. Since you say it's a small resort -- can you switch dates? Or switch plans altogether to a different location without it costing you much?

If you can't -- I guess grin and bear it. Though can't you just NOT make plans with her. Like in the weeks leading up if she is asking about doing x or y -- can't you either punt and say sorry we fly by the seat of our pants, I can't commit to Tues at the spa with you bc we have to see what the kids will want OR say hmm -- I'll consider it, but you know Jane I'm viewing this as a getaway with DH and kids so once I figure out what the 4 us are doing each day/evening, if there are any open slots, I'll let you know. And then when she asks again -- say -- sorry our time is pretty booked the entire week.

How small is this resort though? Some small resorts which are isolated, you literally end up eating every meal at their 1-2 restaurants. If that's the case, you're going to see her/her family there unless you make a real effort to eat dinner at 10 pm or something to avoid them.

Your friend is weird but she most definitely did not invite herself on your vacation. She booked a vacation at he same place and time as you just as, presumably, many people you don't know have done without being accused of inviting themselves.

It's up to you if you want to spend time with her or not, but you can say no or that you're spending time as a family.

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Anonymous wrote:Man, people are nuts. I'm glad I'm kinda stand-offish. I don't have a ton of friends, but no one would ever do that to me!!

I wouldn't have gone to many places if not for friends, I never heard of "family time" vacations. I am always thrilled if anyone can go to the same place we go. Maybe OP's friend does know that OP is not thrilled.

I’m surprised by all of these people that are horrified by the thought of a friend being at the same resort. Do you even like your “friends”?

My bestie, or someone I specifically invited to go with us would be one thing. A spontaneous joining us at a resort, that's weird.

Looks like we are getting into terminology. All my friends are "besties", I don't have levels of friendships. The rest are people I know, and yes, if they decided to go to the same place, it would be a bit strange.

You seriously like and know all your friends equally well? I don't think that is commonplace.

I like and know my friends equally well, It takes years before we actually become friends. The rest are "people I know". I think a lot of people use the term friend very loosely, especially, given what we read in lots of posts about "friends".

Oh step off! I also have only a handful of people I consider close friends, all of whom I have known for many years, but ai accept that it means I am extreme inteovert, not that everyone with a larger network of friends with varying levels of closeness are all out there friending wrong. If you were less superior, you might have more friends.

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Anonymous wrote:Man, people are nuts. I'm glad I'm kinda stand-offish. I don't have a ton of friends, but no one would ever do that to me!!

I wouldn't have gone to many places if not for friends, I never heard of "family time" vacations. I am always thrilled if anyone can go to the same place we go. Maybe OP's friend does know that OP is not thrilled.

I’m surprised by all of these people that are horrified by the thought of a friend being at the same resort. Do you even like your “friends”?

My bestie, or someone I specifically invited to go with us would be one thing. A spontaneous joining us at a resort, that's weird.

Looks like we are getting into terminology. All my friends are "besties", I don't have levels of friendships. The rest are people I know, and yes, if they decided to go to the same place, it would be a bit strange.

You seriously like and know all your friends equally well? I don't think that is commonplace.

No. But only 5th graders and severely insecure people refer to people as "my besties." Grow up. NP here.

My guess is the Op wasn't entirely blind sided by this

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Anonymous wrote:Is this a resort?

Call and see if they can book you far away from their unit. Depending on the size and type of the resort you might never see them there, except perhaps with a lot of effort.

If you are talking about a place like Disneyworld or a place with lots of different cabins like Massenutten, then being there at the same time is really no big deal.

OP says its a small resort...so I don't think you can just never see the person like at Disney or Atlantis.

Oh that sucks.

OP change it, but don't tell her. Later on you can make up some excuse why you guys changed at the last minute.

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Anonymous wrote:You don’t own the resort. Are you also concerned other families staying there will want to hang with you?

You're a idiot. It's tacky and inappropriate for her friend to do that knowing she made plans with her family.

We don’t know that the friend picked the same dates intentionally

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Anonymous wrote:Man, people are nuts. I'm glad I'm kinda stand-offish. I don't have a ton of friends, but no one would ever do that to me!!

I wouldn't have gone to many places if not for friends, I never heard of "family time" vacations. I am always thrilled if anyone can go to the same place we go. Maybe OP's friend does know that OP is not thrilled.

You have never heard of family time on a family vacation? Is it not implied?

Anonymous wrote:You don’t own the resort. Are you also concerned other families staying there will want to hang with you?

You're a idiot. It's tacky and inappropriate for her friend to do that knowing she made plans with her family.

You don’t own the resort. Are you also concerned other families staying there will want to hang with you?

I'd do my best to change the week, if possible, and not tell her. Or switch resorts.

We booked a cruise with another couple. We were pretty good friends...or so I thought. She ended up telling me her husband told his brothers about it so they could book too. I about died because we didn't want it turned into their family cruise on our trip. I nicely asked her to tell him this was something we planned, he could do his family cruise some other time. She said anyone else could come, we couldn't stop them if they did book etc. etc.
Their family didn't end up coming but that was the last cruise I booked with that couple.

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Anonymous wrote:Man, people are nuts. I'm glad I'm kinda stand-offish. I don't have a ton of friends, but no one would ever do that to me!!

I wouldn't have gone to many places if not for friends, I never heard of "family time" vacations. I am always thrilled if anyone can go to the same place we go. Maybe OP's friend does know that OP is not thrilled.

I’m surprised by all of these people that are horrified by the thought of a friend being at the same resort. Do you even like your “friends”?

My bestie, or someone I specifically invited to go with us would be one thing. A spontaneous joining us at a resort, that's weird.

Looks like we are getting into terminology. All my friends are "besties", I don't have levels of friendships. The rest are people I know, and yes, if they decided to go to the same place, it would be a bit strange.

You seriously like and know all your friends equally well? I don't think that is commonplace.

I like and know my friends equally well, It takes years before we actually become friends. The rest are "people I know". I think a lot of people use the term friend very loosely, especially, given what we read in lots of posts about "friends".

Did she definitely do it on purpose to glom on? Is it possible you were describing the resort, it sounded awesome so she signed up too and either didn't know your dates or these were the only dates free at the resort or for her? I have had this thing happen by accident to my family where we ran into other people from here on vacation - granted they were ski resorts and Disney World over school breaks - so they were bigger but it was fine. One time my kids' K teacher was even at the same hotel as us - kind of a bummer for her to run into the kids at the pool every afternoon on her one week off, but we gave her plenty of space and it worked out.