Anonymous
Post 01/31/2018 20:57     Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:All the new age BS way of raising a kid is 100% NONSENSE. The skin on skin contact, the co-sleeping, etc. It's all BS. Go back 40-50-60 years ago. Kids were raised fine without it, and in most cases the kids turned out BETTER than the kids we have today.

There is too much pampering in today's society.


Evolve.


Evolve? Into what? The entitled spoiled kids we have today? No thanks. I'm guessing you're one of those people who think kids will naturally grow up to one good humans - not. Ever listen to anyone successful? This is for any industry from sports to acting to business. 99% of the time their parents were hard on them. They were taught right from wrong. Good from bad. How to behave. Manners. Responsibility. Today? Most kids are entitled brats. Look around. It's pathetic.

Also, when we had kids everyone told me women who breastfeed because it was better - WRONG. I went to three Peds. All three told me it's BS. We used formula and our kid was at 75% percentile until age three. Now 60% percentile and is mature/smart enough to play with kids two years older. We did not co-sleep. We did not breastfeed. We did not do skin on skin. We did not do most of the false adertising practices which IS HALF THE REASON NEW MOMS HAVE POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION!

No thanks. You keep "evolving" and thinking you're better. Whatever makes you sleep better at night.


+1 We should be giving kids guns, not participation trophies. Like in the good old days. [Insert "pathetic," "sad," "hilarious," and random all caps somewhere in this post.]
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2018 20:54     Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:We co-sleep- it was my mistake- it wasn’t an intentional plan at all. I had a very demanding baby who got up all the time And sleep training did nothing. When the baby came into bed with me- we slept. I had to make my sleep and the baby’s sleep first priority. DH slept in the guest room. It has impacted our marriage a bit- I’m not going to deny it... not a divorce level impact though. It’s also hard to tell if it’s co sleeping or just strain of kids. I can’t say I have regrets because DH and I love each other very much still. What was I to do? I needed sleep and was desperate.


Hi wife!

This is us, except my DW still co-sleeps with our 6 year old. Me, the guest room. I am used to it now. It's not divorce level, but it has eroded our sex life.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2018 20:44     Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:Last month I finally asked my husband to move out. I have been asking him to cuddle me for almost 2 years now. It's very important to me and he knows that. I can remember when he stooped. It was about 1-2 week after my c section. I have told him once our toddler goes to sleep he can push him to the other side so we can cuddle. We go MONTHS without touching each other. Many days I lay in bed at night and think to myself I have to remember to hug my husband tomorrow. We have lots of other problems too but without intimacy what's the point of being marriage? DH expects sex but doesn't want to cuddle or give me a massage/ fore play etc. Co-sleeping can be very bad for marriage. Many people warned us and now I get it. I tried to tell my husband this but he told me I need to "sacrifice" . He says the baby ( who is now almost 2) needs this.


Why should he move out? You leave.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2018 20:35     Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In other cultures it’s absolutely normal to sleep together with the children and unacceptable to leave them cry in their rooms. So I really doubt all women in these other countries (including mine) have marital problems.
I do agree with PP that women that stop caring about their marriage create issues with heir husbands, but co-sleeping is NOT the problem here


You can't say it's not the problem. You don't know that. Each couple is different. Amazing how people assume one method is right over every other method. Perhaps co-sleeping works for you and your culture, but it does not mean it works for everyone. That's a very biased view you have.


Why does it matter WHERE or with WHOM you sleep? You are sleeping right? If the only time you touch your DH is while you are asleep, then maybe it’s important to co-sleep. DH and I are together up until the moment we go to sleep and close our eyes. I really cannot believe that it’s important to be alone with your husband while you are both sleeping and dreaming... come on!


I think it's totally normal to expect cuddling at night. You sound weird.


Thanks, yes we don’t cuddle much only a bit before and after sex every other day and every night on the couch while the kids sleep and we watch a movie. I am sooo weird by DCUM standards!
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2018 20:32     Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In other cultures it’s absolutely normal to sleep together with the children and unacceptable to leave them cry in their rooms. So I really doubt all women in these other countries (including mine) have marital problems.
I do agree with PP that women that stop caring about their marriage create issues with heir husbands, but co-sleeping is NOT the problem here


You can't say it's not the problem. You don't know that. Each couple is different. Amazing how people assume one method is right over every other method. Perhaps co-sleeping works for you and your culture, but it does not mean it works for everyone. That's a very biased view you have.


Why does it matter WHERE or with WHOM you sleep? You are sleeping right? If the only time you touch your DH is while you are asleep, then maybe it’s important to co-sleep. DH and I are together up until the moment we go to sleep and close our eyes. I really cannot believe that it’s important to be alone with your husband while you are both sleeping and dreaming... come on!


I think it's totally normal to expect cuddling at night. You sound weird.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2018 20:24     Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In other cultures it’s absolutely normal to sleep together with the children and unacceptable to leave them cry in their rooms. So I really doubt all women in these other countries (including mine) have marital problems.
I do agree with PP that women that stop caring about their marriage create issues with heir husbands, but co-sleeping is NOT the problem here


You can't say it's not the problem. You don't know that. Each couple is different. Amazing how people assume one method is right over every other method. Perhaps co-sleeping works for you and your culture, but it does not mean it works for everyone. That's a very biased view you have.


Why does it matter WHERE or with WHOM you sleep? You are sleeping right? If the only time you touch your DH is while you are asleep, then maybe it’s important to co-sleep. DH and I are together up until the moment we go to sleep and close our eyes. I really cannot believe that it’s important to be alone with your husband while you are both sleeping and dreaming... come on!
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2018 20:03     Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:In other cultures it’s absolutely normal to sleep together with the children and unacceptable to leave them cry in their rooms. So I really doubt all women in these other countries (including mine) have marital problems.
I do agree with PP that women that stop caring about their marriage create issues with heir husbands, but co-sleeping is NOT the problem here


You can't say it's not the problem. You don't know that. Each couple is different. Amazing how people assume one method is right over every other method. Perhaps co-sleeping works for you and your culture, but it does not mean it works for everyone. That's a very biased view you have.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2018 20:01     Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:All the new age BS way of raising a kid is 100% NONSENSE. The skin on skin contact, the co-sleeping, etc. It's all BS. Go back 40-50-60 years ago. Kids were raised fine without it, and in most cases the kids turned out BETTER than the kids we have today.

There is too much pampering in today's society.


Evolve.


Evolve? Into what? The entitled spoiled kids we have today? No thanks. I'm guessing you're one of those people who think kids will naturally grow up to one good humans - not. Ever listen to anyone successful? This is for any industry from sports to acting to business. 99% of the time their parents were hard on them. They were taught right from wrong. Good from bad. How to behave. Manners. Responsibility. Today? Most kids are entitled brats. Look around. It's pathetic.

Also, when we had kids everyone told me women who breastfeed because it was better - WRONG. I went to three Peds. All three told me it's BS. We used formula and our kid was at 75% percentile until age three. Now 60% percentile and is mature/smart enough to play with kids two years older. We did not co-sleep. We did not breastfeed. We did not do skin on skin. We did not do most of the false adertising practices which IS HALF THE REASON NEW MOMS HAVE POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION!

No thanks. You keep "evolving" and thinking you're better. Whatever makes you sleep better at night.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2018 19:53     Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:In other cultures it’s absolutely normal to sleep together with the children and unacceptable to leave them cry in their rooms. So I really doubt all women in these other countries (including mine) have marital problems.
I do agree with PP that women that stop caring about their marriage create issues with heir husbands, but co-sleeping is NOT the problem here

Also, my DH (not American) is perfectly happy with our arrangement although it came from me. We still have sex 3-4 Times a week and spend lots of solo time. But we rarely sleep together and alone
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2018 19:49     Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
In other cultures it’s absolutely normal to sleep together with the children and unacceptable to leave them cry in their rooms. So I really doubt all women in these other countries (including mine) have marital problems.
I do agree with PP that women that stop caring about their marriage create issues with heir husbands, but co-sleeping is NOT the problem here
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2018 18:52     Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Co-sleeping is reflective of a broader approach to child rearing that a lot of us think is crazy. If the parents aren’t aligned, I can only imagine how much other conflict is going on. Problem is, the mothers who choose to do this place their snowflakes on a pedestal and generally disregard their husbands. Just don’t be surprised when he fills the bed elsewhere (or doesn’t want you back).

OP seems like an odd case to me. I’ve never heard of a DH wanting his wife to cosleep when the wife wasn’t into it.

Anonymous
Post 01/31/2018 17:17     Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:All the new age BS way of raising a kid is 100% NONSENSE. The skin on skin contact, the co-sleeping, etc. It's all BS. Go back 40-50-60 years ago. Kids were raised fine without it, and in most cases the kids turned out BETTER than the kids we have today.

There is too much pampering in today's society.


Evolve.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2018 16:45     Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
All the new age BS way of raising a kid is 100% NONSENSE. The skin on skin contact, the co-sleeping, etc. It's all BS. Go back 40-50-60 years ago. Kids were raised fine without it, and in most cases the kids turned out BETTER than the kids we have today.

There is too much pampering in today's society.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2018 16:39     Subject: Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:All the couples I know who co-slept have ended up divorced



Was JUST about to post this.

Same here. Every. Single. One.



Yep and I guarantee most of the women on here do not have supportive husband's. Most men do not want to cosleep. It's a marriage killer.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2018 15:42     Subject: Re:Co-sleeping ruined my marriage
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I co-slept with both my children until about age 2. I am still married.


How is the sex life?


It's GOOD. My kids are tweens/teens now.