Anonymous
Post 01/27/2018 12:53     Subject: Re:What do your kids call their friends parents
What is with all of you guys wanting to be called Mrs/Ms/Miss Lastname??
What are we in the 1930s? Do you feel a sense of superiority by this?
I am all for respect but i don't think calling someone by their firstname is a sign of disrespect in social situation.
I don't call my Dr. friend "Dr Jacobs" when we hang out, or her husband "Dr Stewart". I use their firstnames, why the heck can't kids?

I don't call kids Miss Larla or Mr Larlo when talking to them, why should they do that for me? Respect is a lot more than a title i hate to tell you.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2018 12:45     Subject: What do your kids call their friends parents
Nearly 100% of the kids call me Larla's mom when they are young or Miss (my first name.) When I have a chance to ask - I ask friends what they'd like to be called and only one ever has asked to be called Mrs. "X".
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2018 12:40     Subject: What do your kids call their friends parents
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kids are preschoolers so we haven't had to deal with this yet, but now you've got me thinking.

I think I'd probably ask them, "what should Larlo call you?" and I'd encourage my kids to ask the same question. What does everyone think about that?

Personally, I'd be happy if other kids called me my first name. I don't want them to call me Mrs. Larlos-last-name because I never use that - I didn't change my name when I got married and I have a PhD anyway (which our kids' friends would probably never know) so if we're really being formal then my title is Dr, which I find pretentious. And Mr. Larlos-last-name won't work for my husband since the kids have my last name and not his.

I'd be okay with my kids calling them Mr or Mrs whatever, if that's what they asked to be called, but honestly I probably wouldn't be encouraging those friendships because I'd think they're a bunch of snobs. Kids calling them by their first name when they haven't been invited to do so is rude though, I agree.


And btw for the "social class", "unclutured" (sic) PP above, we've traveled extensively, lived on multiple continents, my kids have several citizenships, and we both have graduate degrees from good schools in challenging fields.


That's not the social class she's talking about. As someone who grew up in Middleburg where the highest social class meant being invited to dinner at Mrs. Mellon' s Oak Spring "home" you would not call her, not any of her guests Mrs Rachel.



This is hilarious. As someone who grew up extremely “high class” and called most adults by their first names (after they told me to), I knew Mrs. Mellon and knew her as Bunny. Calling someone by their honorific and last name isn’t classy, it’s what you do with people you don’t know very well. Mrs/Ms Firstname is either Southern or preschool teacher and not something my kids or I have ever said, with the exception of ballet and gymnastics teachers who seem to call themselves by that title.


You definitely did not know Mrs. Mellon. No chance on this earth. No children called her Bunny. Not a single one.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2018 11:55     Subject: What do your kids call their friends parents
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:All first names, they usually ask and often refer to them as "Sam's mom or dad" but not a single one of their friends parents has asked or required being Mr or Mrs X. You all sound so old fashioned.


I think it's a social class thing. My kids are exposed socially in a lot of formal settings often times with familiar people. They have had to learn proper social graces. They would appear unclutured, rude, and common if they didn't address adults in a way that is socially appropriate.


Nope. Stop giving yourself airs. You sound common.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2018 11:49     Subject: What do your kids call their friends parents
Anonymous wrote:
By their first names, unless they don't know them well, then it's Mr and Mrs.



This. Or in a position of authority, like a teacher.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2018 11:48     Subject: What do your kids call their friends parents
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kids are preschoolers so we haven't had to deal with this yet, but now you've got me thinking.

I think I'd probably ask them, "what should Larlo call you?" and I'd encourage my kids to ask the same question. What does everyone think about that?

Personally, I'd be happy if other kids called me my first name. I don't want them to call me Mrs. Larlos-last-name because I never use that - I didn't change my name when I got married and I have a PhD anyway (which our kids' friends would probably never know) so if we're really being formal then my title is Dr, which I find pretentious. And Mr. Larlos-last-name won't work for my husband since the kids have my last name and not his.

I'd be okay with my kids calling them Mr or Mrs whatever, if that's what they asked to be called, but honestly I probably wouldn't be encouraging those friendships because I'd think they're a bunch of snobs. Kids calling them by their first name when they haven't been invited to do so is rude though, I agree.


And btw for the "social class", "unclutured" (sic) PP above, we've traveled extensively, lived on multiple continents, my kids have several citizenships, and we both have graduate degrees from good schools in challenging fields.


That's not the social class she's talking about. As someone who grew up in Middleburg where the highest social class meant being invited to dinner at Mrs. Mellon' s Oak Spring "home" you would not call her, not any of her guests Mrs Rachel.



This is hilarious. As someone who grew up extremely “high class” and called most adults by their first names (after they told me to), I knew Mrs. Mellon and knew her as Bunny. Calling someone by their honorific and last name isn’t classy, it’s what you do with people you don’t know very well. Mrs/Ms Firstname is either Southern or preschool teacher and not something my kids or I have ever said, with the exception of ballet and gymnastics teachers who seem to call themselves by that title.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2018 11:39     Subject: What do your kids call their friends parents
My children call my longtime friends and my siblings/cousins by their first names but parents of classmates are Mr/Mrs/Dr LastName or most times they just say “Jenny’s mom, can she come over?”
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2018 21:27     Subject: What do your kids call their friends parents
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You should tell your kids to address the parents as Mr. or Mrs. Lastname and then the parent can feel free to say "Call me Larla" or whatever if that is their preference.


I don't think it is the decision of the friend's parents. I think it is the decision of each parent, as to how they raise their kids addressing other adults.


What??? If someone prefers to be called Mrs Smith I cannot imagine the audacity of telling my kid “just call her Susan”.

PhD Mom - when my kid goes to a new friends house or carpool I’ll tell her “Larla’s mom is Dr. Smith.” And I know she will start off with “excuse me Dr Smith” as far as I have been told they have all without exception been touched and then said “call me Susan”.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2018 21:24     Subject: What do your kids call their friends parents
First names. That's what everyone does in our friend circle, preschool etc.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2018 21:22     Subject: What do your kids call their friends parents
Anonymous wrote:Ugh I hate it when kids call me 'Ms' or 'Mrs' or whatever. One kid comes to our house, I've told her a hundred time to just call me by my first name, but she does it anyway. It is way too formal.


It's not too formal, and it's not your decision. Her parents are raising her to be respectful of adults. Too bad that you see it as your role to undermine that.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2018 21:21     Subject: What do your kids call their friends parents
Anonymous wrote:You should tell your kids to address the parents as Mr. or Mrs. Lastname and then the parent can feel free to say "Call me Larla" or whatever if that is their preference.


I don't think it is the decision of the friend's parents. I think it is the decision of each parent, as to how they raise their kids addressing other adults.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2018 21:18     Subject: Re:What do your kids call their friends parents
First name, with a couple people who do Ms. First Name. I grew up calling adults by their first names so that's my default.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2018 21:13     Subject: What do your kids call their friends parents
Anonymous wrote:You should tell your kids to address the parents as Mr. or Mrs. Lastname and then the parent can feel free to say "Call me Larla" or whatever if that is their preference.


This is the approach we're teaching our kids.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2018 17:23     Subject: What do your kids call their friends parents

By their first names, unless they don't know them well, then it's Mr and Mrs.

Anonymous
Post 01/26/2018 17:22     Subject: What do your kids call their friends parents
Ugh I hate it when kids call me 'Ms' or 'Mrs' or whatever. One kid comes to our house, I've told her a hundred time to just call me by my first name, but she does it anyway. It is way too formal.