Anonymous
Post 01/17/2018 15:02     Subject: MIL sending weight loss videos
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's pretty standard across cultures to not body-shame a new mum. Having said that, some cultures/parents are also nosy as hell.

I'd make it a plan with DH that he opens the mail from now on and if it's anything he thinks could *possibly* offend you, to throw it out and not tell you.

If he fails this basic task, you have an uphill battle. With him, not her.


OMG.


It is a good idea I works along the lines of this:

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=south+park+safe+space&&view=detail&mid=5797D003C45144CE32075797D003C45144CE3207&&FORM=VDRVRV[/youtube]
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2018 14:56     Subject: MIL sending weight loss videos
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Would you be offended if your MIL sent you weight loss videos if you were 3 months post partum? I’m up 10 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight (124 lbs instead of 114 lbs, i’m 5’2). I am just pissed off that she sends me garbage (and not even useful garbage. It was a dieting video from India on how to lose 20 lbs in 2 weeks). She also texts me that I need to eat well. I do actually eat decently. Since I can’t tell her to mind her own business in real life, I thought venting to DCUM would make me feel better. My husband doesn’t understand.

Wow. You sound nasty. Focus on being a good person, and forget about MIL.

On what planet?!

Nice try, troll.

Yes the ymust be a troll, focusing on yourself and not letting stupidity upset you is such a crazy idea.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2018 14:55     Subject: MIL sending weight loss videos
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's pretty standard across cultures to not body-shame a new mum. Having said that, some cultures/parents are also nosy as hell.

I'd make it a plan with DH that he opens the mail from now on and if it's anything he thinks could *possibly* offend you, to throw it out and not tell you.

If he fails this basic task, you have an uphill battle. With him, not her.


OMG.


OMG, I would dump you immediately. You are so weak you want people to filter things so you aren't possibly offended? Lol, you want your own personal Butters to make a Safe Space.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2018 14:16     Subject: MIL sending weight loss videos
What is disordered eating?
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2018 09:53     Subject: MIL sending weight loss videos
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes, you CAN tell her to MYOB. I have a MIL who says inappropriate things, and the second she started to discuss my post-partum weight I told her in no uncertain terms "You are not to discuss my weight or appearance or what I eat with me, at all." She never did again. I am not normally that assertive but I chalk it up to post-partum hormones and sleep deprivation


That is not assertive, that was being an ahole. On the bright side the message got through.


Well what do you call badgering a 3 week post-partum mom about her weight?


Started to discuss is not badgering, I have a feeling you are a bit sensitive and overdramatic.


No, I know my MIL well and I know that she has disordered eating and no filter whatsoever, and had a history of saying really inappropriate things to me. Hence, nipped it in the bud at a time when I had no internal resources to just grin and bear it. Guess what -- that strengthened our relationship in the long run, not weakened it. MIL is a good person, just a little odd and with a different cultural background from me, so she actually wants to be told when she's bugging people (but it takes a LOT for her to actually hear the message.)
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2018 09:25     Subject: MIL sending weight loss videos
I would just donate/trash the videos and not speak of it.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2018 09:23     Subject: MIL sending weight loss videos
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Would you be offended if your MIL sent you weight loss videos if you were 3 months post partum? I’m up 10 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight (124 lbs instead of 114 lbs, i’m 5’2). I am just pissed off that she sends me garbage (and not even useful garbage. It was a dieting video from India on how to lose 20 lbs in 2 weeks). She also texts me that I need to eat well. I do actually eat decently. Since I can’t tell her to mind her own business in real life, I thought venting to DCUM would make me feel better. My husband doesn’t understand.

Wow. You sound nasty. Focus on being a good person, and forget about MIL.


say what? OP sounds eminently reasonable. Actually, she could use a bit more nastiness because I think she should definitely tell her MIL not to comment on her weight. I would and have told my mother this. My MIL is luckily more tactful than my own mom.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2018 09:18     Subject: MIL sending weight loss videos
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Would you be offended if your MIL sent you weight loss videos if you were 3 months post partum? I’m up 10 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight (124 lbs instead of 114 lbs, i’m 5’2). I am just pissed off that she sends me garbage (and not even useful garbage. It was a dieting video from India on how to lose 20 lbs in 2 weeks). She also texts me that I need to eat well. I do actually eat decently. Since I can’t tell her to mind her own business in real life, I thought venting to DCUM would make me feel better. My husband doesn’t understand.

Wow. You sound nasty. Focus on being a good person, and forget about MIL.

On what planet?!

Nice try, troll.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2018 09:10     Subject: MIL sending weight loss videos
Anonymous wrote:It's pretty standard across cultures to not body-shame a new mum. Having said that, some cultures/parents are also nosy as hell.

I'd make it a plan with DH that he opens the mail from now on and if it's anything he thinks could *possibly* offend you, to throw it out and not tell you.

If he fails this basic task, you have an uphill battle. With him, not her.


OMG.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2018 22:12     Subject: Re:MIL sending weight loss videos
Women are so infantile and petty in their interpersonal relationships. It would funny if it was not so absurd.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2018 22:05     Subject: MIL sending weight loss videos
Anonymous wrote:Would you be offended if your MIL sent you weight loss videos if you were 3 months post partum? I’m up 10 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight (124 lbs instead of 114 lbs, i’m 5’2). I am just pissed off that she sends me garbage (and not even useful garbage. It was a dieting video from India on how to lose 20 lbs in 2 weeks). She also texts me that I need to eat well. I do actually eat decently. Since I can’t tell her to mind her own business in real life, I thought venting to DCUM would make me feel better. My husband doesn’t understand.

Wow. You sound nasty. Focus on being a good person, and forget about MIL.
Anonymous
Post 01/16/2018 22:00     Subject: MIL sending weight loss videos
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes, you CAN tell her to MYOB. I have a MIL who says inappropriate things, and the second she started to discuss my post-partum weight I told her in no uncertain terms "You are not to discuss my weight or appearance or what I eat with me, at all." She never did again. I am not normally that assertive but I chalk it up to post-partum hormones and sleep deprivation


That is not assertive, that was being an ahole. On the bright side the message got through.


How was that being an asshole? Probably something I should have said to my dad decades ago.


If he was badgering or condescending thats borderline if not abuse. Was it rude, thoughtless type comments he made?