Anonymous
Post 01/02/2018 12:38     Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Left me at the hospital overnight after an emergency surgery. Went to work the next day. I finally came to and got a hold of a nurse's phone to call him around 1pm (I had been officially discharged 4 hours prior). He told me he needed to go to a meeting and would come get me later. Finally showed up at 3pm.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2018 12:30     Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Suggested I abort our child because he wasn't ready to be a dad.

Other than that he's not selfish at all.


Unless you two decided to get pregnant together and then he told you, I don't think there's anything wrong with this. If anything, it's selfish of you to have a child when you know its father doesn't want it.


Wanting to have your baby isn't being selfish. Wanting to kill an inconvenient baby is being selfish.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2018 12:24     Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Suggested I abort our child because he wasn't ready to be a dad.

Other than that he's not selfish at all.


Unless you two decided to get pregnant together and then he told you, I don't think there's anything wrong with this. If anything, it's selfish of you to have a child when you know its father doesn't want it.


We certainly decided to have unprotected sex together.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2018 12:23     Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Forgot our wedding anniversary. The following year he missed my birthday so he could attend a football game. He thought I would "understand"since it was his favorite pro team. Those were just 2 examples. I checked out of the marriage after that. Most selfish thing I did to him was when I had an affair and ended the marriage.


These seem totally not like a big deal, and something that EVERY man could do. They can spot a hedgehog along the highway at 75 MPH, but they can't recall anniversaries. NBD to me. Obviously it was to you, though.


I'm not convinced that the PP wasn't trolling. She "checked out" of the marriage because he forgot their anniversary and went to a football game on her birthday? Please. And she acts like this is even close to the equivalent to having an affair?
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2018 12:19     Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:Suggested I abort our child because he wasn't ready to be a dad.

Other than that he's not selfish at all.


Unless you two decided to get pregnant together and then he told you, I don't think there's anything wrong with this. If anything, it's selfish of you to have a child when you know its father doesn't want it.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2018 12:16     Subject: Re:What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He got upset when I told him I'd need him to stay with me overnight in the hospital after I gave birth to our daughter. He'd been hoping to sleep at home then come back in the mornings and was very upset he had to sleep on the uncomfortable recliner in my recovery room. It wasn't our finest moment but honestly, we were both so exhausted after a multi-day induction that neither of us were thinking clearly. It was a single moment of dumb@ssness from an otherwise wonderful man.


Is it really so bad? I wouldn't want to sleep on that stupid recliner either and if he's just going home to sleep and coming right back in the morning... why is that a big deal?


Because I hadn't slept for 48 hours. Because we were in a "baby friendly" hospital that provided absolutely no help with the baby besides coming in and yelling at me for doing apparently every single thing wrong, they literally wouldn't even hand me the baby if they were already in the room. Because the call button in our room didn't work so if there had been an issue, I couldn't have alerted the nurses (I tried shouting and they didn't hear me). Because my epidural didn't wear off for hours so I couldn't stand up to get the baby on my own. Because, even after the epidural finally wore off, I had a 3rd degree tear and needed help getting out of bed each and every time and needed help getting onto and off of the toilet.

Because I needed him there.


You sound really needy.


BS. She sounds like a woman who had just given birth. Men who are whiny and/or needy around the birth of a child will get no quarter from me. DH can be selfish at times, but he always, always stepped up when our kids were newborns.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2018 12:15     Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Forgot our wedding anniversary. The following year he missed my birthday so he could attend a football game. He thought I would "understand"since it was his favorite pro team. Those were just 2 examples. I checked out of the marriage after that. Most selfish thing I did to him was when I had an affair and ended the marriage.


These seem totally not like a big deal, and something that EVERY man could do. They can spot a hedgehog along the highway at 75 MPH, but they can't recall anniversaries. NBD to me. Obviously it was to you, though.


I think I could have dealt with it if did not happen so often. I was not very high on his list of priorities.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2018 12:12     Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
My mom is an OB. She had a husband drop his wife off at the hospital doors in labor. He was going home to "feed the dogs" and I guess he fell asleep. He came back 20 hours later about 30 min after his wife delivered by herself. She didn't even have her hospital bags because he was supposed to bring those in from the car.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2018 12:07     Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Suggested I abort our child because he wasn't ready to be a dad.

Other than that he's not selfish at all.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2018 12:07     Subject: Re:What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He got upset when I told him I'd need him to stay with me overnight in the hospital after I gave birth to our daughter. He'd been hoping to sleep at home then come back in the mornings and was very upset he had to sleep on the uncomfortable recliner in my recovery room. It wasn't our finest moment but honestly, we were both so exhausted after a multi-day induction that neither of us were thinking clearly. It was a single moment of dumb@ssness from an otherwise wonderful man.


Is it really so bad? I wouldn't want to sleep on that stupid recliner either and if he's just going home to sleep and coming right back in the morning... why is that a big deal?


Because I hadn't slept for 48 hours. Because we were in a "baby friendly" hospital that provided absolutely no help with the baby besides coming in and yelling at me for doing apparently every single thing wrong, they literally wouldn't even hand me the baby if they were already in the room. Because the call button in our room didn't work so if there had been an issue, I couldn't have alerted the nurses (I tried shouting and they didn't hear me). Because my epidural didn't wear off for hours so I couldn't stand up to get the baby on my own. Because, even after the epidural finally wore off, I had a 3rd degree tear and needed help getting out of bed each and every time and needed help getting onto and off of the toilet.

Because I needed him there.


I'm sorry, PP. This sounds horrible.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2018 12:06     Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:Forgot our wedding anniversary. The following year he missed my birthday so he could attend a football game. He thought I would "understand"since it was his favorite pro team. Those were just 2 examples. I checked out of the marriage after that. Most selfish thing I did to him was when I had an affair and ended the marriage.


These seem totally not like a big deal, and something that EVERY man could do. They can spot a hedgehog along the highway at 75 MPH, but they can't recall anniversaries. NBD to me. Obviously it was to you, though.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2018 12:06     Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:To be honest, most of these examples don't seem that bad.


Selfishness is selfishness. Some of it is "bad" and some of it is just selfish.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2018 12:02     Subject: Re:What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He got upset when I told him I'd need him to stay with me overnight in the hospital after I gave birth to our daughter. He'd been hoping to sleep at home then come back in the mornings and was very upset he had to sleep on the uncomfortable recliner in my recovery room. It wasn't our finest moment but honestly, we were both so exhausted after a multi-day induction that neither of us were thinking clearly. It was a single moment of dumb@ssness from an otherwise wonderful man.


Is it really so bad? I wouldn't want to sleep on that stupid recliner either and if he's just going home to sleep and coming right back in the morning... why is that a big deal?


Because I hadn't slept for 48 hours. Because we were in a "baby friendly" hospital that provided absolutely no help with the baby besides coming in and yelling at me for doing apparently every single thing wrong, they literally wouldn't even hand me the baby if they were already in the room. Because the call button in our room didn't work so if there had been an issue, I couldn't have alerted the nurses (I tried shouting and they didn't hear me). Because my epidural didn't wear off for hours so I couldn't stand up to get the baby on my own. Because, even after the epidural finally wore off, I had a 3rd degree tear and needed help getting out of bed each and every time and needed help getting onto and off of the toilet.

Because I needed him there.


You sound really needy.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2018 12:01     Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My STBX went home after the birth of our son - home was fifteen minutes away - to pick up some things, including food. He ended up falling asleep and came back five hours later.



And you hold this against him??? Good grief.


+1

If this is the most selfish thing he has ever done, he's fine.


Um okay. I'm in a foreign hospital alone with a newborn and dad goes and takes a multi-hour nap? Yes, that's selfish.


You are in the hospital, well looked after, and likely you also could nap. Makes sense for him to get rest and sleep then when you and baby have care. he sounds like he was exhausted from the labor / birth - may not have had much sleep - why wouldn't you want o him to get sleep?
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2018 11:59     Subject: Re:What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He got upset when I told him I'd need him to stay with me overnight in the hospital after I gave birth to our daughter. He'd been hoping to sleep at home then come back in the mornings and was very upset he had to sleep on the uncomfortable recliner in my recovery room. It wasn't our finest moment but honestly, we were both so exhausted after a multi-day induction that neither of us were thinking clearly. It was a single moment of dumb@ssness from an otherwise wonderful man.


Is it really so bad? I wouldn't want to sleep on that stupid recliner either and if he's just going home to sleep and coming right back in the morning... why is that a big deal?


Because I hadn't slept for 48 hours. Because we were in a "baby friendly" hospital that provided absolutely no help with the baby besides coming in and yelling at me for doing apparently every single thing wrong, they literally wouldn't even hand me the baby if they were already in the room. Because the call button in our room didn't work so if there had been an issue, I couldn't have alerted the nurses (I tried shouting and they didn't hear me). Because my epidural didn't wear off for hours so I couldn't stand up to get the baby on my own. Because, even after the epidural finally wore off, I had a 3rd degree tear and needed help getting out of bed each and every time and needed help getting onto and off of the toilet.

Because I needed him there.