Anonymous
Post 12/19/2017 14:24     Subject: Re:My 7 year Old Suspended for four Days MCPS
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For what it's worth, your son sounds just like mine in how he reacts. Mine would feel as though the had been accused of something he didn't think he had done, wouldn't want to accept the consequence, would run away and/or become aggressive (fight or flight mentality). Luckily he is in a good program, where the emphasis is on supporting him rather than punishing him (so suspensions have not been as long). He has ADHD and anxiety, and it is the anxiety that caused him to act out so much when his impulsive behavior gets him in trouble. Once we started to treat him for anxiety, things started to get better.


OP here: Thank you so much for this. I'm hopeful that once the exact issues are determined we will see improvement. This has all come on so quickly.


Question - you mentioned there were no issues in K or 1st for behavior. Would ADHD present at this age without hints earlier? Asking out of ignorance, but this part struck me.



I'll bite and answer (I'm not the OP). ADHD generally will present before 2nd grade. That doesn't mean that she would necessarily see behavior like this before 2nd grade. If he had even a remotely appropriate environment in K and 1st, he might have been able to function without melt-downs. Imagine a kid with asthma. If they are in a clean environment, they are going to be mostly okay. Now put them in a room full of smokers, and you're going to have an asthma attack that requires hospitalization. Putting a kid with this kind of ADHD around adults that don't know how to deal with kids with ADHD (or really, any kids, if they were mocking the child for how he spoke) is like putting an asthmatic kid in a room full of smokers. It pretty much guarantees you are going to have an extreme episode.

OP, in addition to the other stuff, I'd look for an cognitive behavioral program that can help teach him flexible thinking, modulation of emotional response in response to set-backs or criticism, and other things. in the meantime, you can try something like "How to take the Grrr Out of Anger" (on amazon). Your son sounds a lot like mine -- the good news is that if he's cognitively advanced, a lot of times you can take a calm moment and problem-solve with him about how he can deal with problems like this when they do arise. I guarantee he doesn't like to respond like this. He just needs to develop the tools to respond differently. And teachers mocking him or telling him he's just a bad kid aren't going to give him those tools. Is there a good counselor at your school? Ours is great, and really helps my child. When he is upset, he asks to go see her now and she knows how to talk him down. I've also given them some pointers about things that I think help him to get his cool back.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2017 14:23     Subject: My 7 year Old Suspended for four Days MCPS
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Even if OP could afford to switch him to private school, and found a non-SN private school that would take him, that 4 day suspension is going to be a huge barrier to getting admitted.


Op here: We were in the process of looking at privates and this is EXACTLY what I was thinking.


I'm 14:17. That's another reason I'd appeal this.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2017 14:20     Subject: My 7 year Old Suspended for four Days MCPS
Anonymous wrote:Even if OP could afford to switch him to private school, and found a non-SN private school that would take him, that 4 day suspension is going to be a huge barrier to getting admitted.


Op here: We were in the process of looking at privates and this is EXACTLY what I was thinking.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2017 14:18     Subject: My 7 year Old Suspended for four Days MCPS
Even if OP could afford to switch him to private school, and found a non-SN private school that would take him, that 4 day suspension is going to be a huge barrier to getting admitted.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2017 14:17     Subject: My 7 year Old Suspended for four Days MCPS
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I really hate it when no-nothings from the general board wander in here and opine.


DP. I'm a no-nothing from the general board who posted above, saying that 4 days is way way way too long to suspend a 7 year old. That's my opinion.


OK, we'll let you stay but only if you brought along some wine or salty snacks.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2017 14:17     Subject: My 7 year Old Suspended for four Days MCPS
Anonymous wrote:I would be firm that he needs to not be involved with that aide again. She does not sound qualified and her poor judgment escalated the situation quickly for no reason.


New poster here. I would not want this paraeducator around him either. I'm not excusing what he did. But there is no reason to keep them together.

Also, I'm surprised he was suspended. I thought MCPS' new policies were to limit as much as possible any chance of out-of-school suspension, because it doesn't do anything to help the kid do better. While I could see it for an older bigger child, I don't get it, from a safety perspective, for a 2nd grader.

Their regulations state that suspension should not be used for kids pre-K through 3rd grade. Four days is considered a long-term suspension.

I honestly would appeal it. Because it's so unusual. You appeal first to the Principal, and then to the Director of Pupil Personnel and Attendance Services.

Again, I'm not excusing it. I personally would talk to a psychologist and/or get your kid therapy. Not that there's something inherently wrong with him. But therapy can help increase better frustration tolerance and teach appropriate behavior.

Here are the regs.

http://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/departments/policy/pdf/jgarb.pdf

Anonymous
Post 12/19/2017 14:14     Subject: My 7 year Old Suspended for four Days MCPS
Anonymous wrote:My son has been suspended for 4 days for kicking a paraeducator. I feel awful about it. I'm trying to see what my next steps should be. The incident started on the playground where according to him he was throwing mulch and rocks on the ground. Another student went to the paraeducator and said that he was throwing rocks at them. The paraeducator then came to my son and according to him yelled "NO THROWING ROCKS" and said he had to go to the office after recces.

My son did not do that, he proceeded to go to the special he had after recess because he didn't think he had done anything wrong. The paraeducator sees him standing in line at his special and tells him again to go to the office, in front of the other children and the substitute teacher, as the normal special teacher was out that day. He then asks the substitute if he can stay in class because he didn't do anything wrong. The substitute proceeds to mock him and repeats in a high pitched voice "I didn't do anything wrong." My son then runs away. He runs through the hallways at school and knocks over a recycling bin. He then runs down the stairs towards the office and is confronted by the assistant principal. As he is talking to her the paraeducator who has been following him walks up as well. He then kicks her in the knee.

A little background on my son. He has been having behavioral issues this year in class where this same paraeducator is his TA. He did not have any issues in K or 1st grade. He has stated to me prior to this incident that she picks on him. He's had a difficult year so far with acting out in class, being easily frustrated, and leaving when upset, and last week I met with the school regarding a FBA. They are in the process of observing him to create a Behavior Intervention Plan. The school is also aware that he is getting tested on Thursday for potential ADHD, etc. We talked about triggers etc. but I'm unsure they were shared with the paraeducator in question.

He obviously should never have kicked anyone and will be punished in that regard.

What should I do in this situation? Any input is appreciated.


OP - I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. It must be so stressful for you

It is very clear to me that the school does not have the appropriate staff in place to manage situations like this. Your DS is only 7, so while his behavior was unacceptable there were things that the para-educator could have done to completely deflate the situation. Instead she embarrassed him in front of his peers, his immature brain reacted which I totally get. The whole thing sounds like a major cluster-*uck.

I would just accept the suspension, let things cool down over break. Then make sure you find an excellent PRIVATE psychologist to evaluate your DS to see what his challenges really are. Then if you can afford it, look for a private school. Until then, make sure your DS gets a solid IEP which he should be able to get after the results of the private evaluation.

Anonymous
Post 12/19/2017 14:12     Subject: My 7 year Old Suspended for four Days MCPS
Anonymous wrote:I really hate it when no-nothings from the general board wander in here and opine.


DP. I'm a no-nothing from the general board who posted above, saying that 4 days is way way way too long to suspend a 7 year old. That's my opinion.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2017 14:08     Subject: My 7 year Old Suspended for four Days MCPS
I have a child with behavioral issues.

One of the ABSOLUTE WORST things that happened to him in K was repeated suspensions for behavioral episodes (this was with an IEP for ASD). Because he learned that if he did X, he would get rewarded with a day away from school. Suspending a child with behaviors is literally the most counterproductive thing this school can do. It took us years to recover from the fallout from this shitshow.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2017 14:06     Subject: My 7 year Old Suspended for four Days MCPS
I would be firm that he needs to not be involved with that aide again. She does not sound qualified and her poor judgment escalated the situation quickly for no reason.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2017 14:04     Subject: My 7 year Old Suspended for four Days MCPS
I really hate it when no-nothings from the general board wander in here and opine.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2017 13:52     Subject: My 7 year Old Suspended for four Days MCPS
Anonymous wrote:OP, have you received written notification of the suspension, number of days, code, and the reasons for it, etc.? A lot of times schools just ask you to pick the SN kid up because documenting it as a suspension actually hurts the school. In your situation, I am a little suspicious that, knowing you have a pre-planned day off for testing on TH, that they think they can just pressure you to keep him home off the books on fri too.

The bottom line is that SN kids have a right to access school. The fact that you were discussing an FBA even before this incident means that the school was on notice that they potentially had an SN kid here. Schools have a "child gind" duty - the obligation is on them to identify all potentially SN students and serve them. To me, it sounds like they did not move fast enough to put proper supports in place, and as a result the situation spiraled out of control due to improper management. I see this frequently in schools - an agressive approach scares kids away and makes them hostile instead of trying to understand their perceptions and model appropriate behaviour for them.

Inagred with another PP that this is basically prima facia evidence for evaluation and then a 504 or IEP plan. Make sure you put that request in writing before the end of winter break.

I would not keep my kid home. from school without an official written suspension notice. Once I got that, I'd write a letter requesting, under FERPA, all educational records pertaining to my DS, including but not limited to any emails among trachers about the incident, any written report or notes by teacher or admin staff documenting the incident. After reviewing that, I would document back to the school DS's version of the event, including any description of bullying or mocking by any staff during this incident as well as any prior incidents.



OP here: I received a letter from the principal so I'm assuming it was documented. I will request his records.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2017 13:51     Subject: Re:My 7 year Old Suspended for four Days MCPS
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, my 2nd grader has also been suspended twice but each time it was for a matter of hours, not days, and there was aggression to teachers involved. I didn't see anywhere that you have discussed this with your principal. If you are not seeing eye to eye with your principal you can contact your cluster supervisor and you can find that phone number on the MCPS Special Education webpage. 4 days is exceptionally punitive. Is your child working on grade level? What about all the make up work? Personally I would raise hell for a four day suspension, especially since, for little kids, it means nothing to them but a vacation. Have you considered getting an advocate to help in this whole process?


OP here: I did discuss this with the principal and even offered to spend the day with him on Friday (since he was getting his testing done on Thursday and wouldn't be there anyway) and she rejected this offer. I have written to her again appealing the suspension and have a meeting tomorrow morning. I will try contacting the cluster supervisor. He is above grade level in all subjects, reads 2 years above and is in enriched math.


I would escalate it as that is extreme. One day, ok, but 4 days is insane. I'd ask for a different classroom when he returns.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2017 13:48     Subject: Re:My 7 year Old Suspended for four Days MCPS
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For what it's worth, your son sounds just like mine in how he reacts. Mine would feel as though the had been accused of something he didn't think he had done, wouldn't want to accept the consequence, would run away and/or become aggressive (fight or flight mentality). Luckily he is in a good program, where the emphasis is on supporting him rather than punishing him (so suspensions have not been as long). He has ADHD and anxiety, and it is the anxiety that caused him to act out so much when his impulsive behavior gets him in trouble. Once we started to treat him for anxiety, things started to get better.


OP here: Thank you so much for this. I'm hopeful that once the exact issues are determined we will see improvement. This has all come on so quickly.


Question - you mentioned there were no issues in K or 1st for behavior. Would ADHD present at this age without hints earlier? Asking out of ignorance, but this part struck me.



I'm wondering what the sensory issues he's been treated for have been?

Sensory issues that need treatment don't happen in a vacuum. There is another diagnosis lurking around, and someone didn't serve you well by not suggesting an evaluation for ASD or ADHD or anxiety long before now.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2017 13:43     Subject: Re:My 7 year Old Suspended for four Days MCPS
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For what it's worth, your son sounds just like mine in how he reacts. Mine would feel as though the had been accused of something he didn't think he had done, wouldn't want to accept the consequence, would run away and/or become aggressive (fight or flight mentality). Luckily he is in a good program, where the emphasis is on supporting him rather than punishing him (so suspensions have not been as long). He has ADHD and anxiety, and it is the anxiety that caused him to act out so much when his impulsive behavior gets him in trouble. Once we started to treat him for anxiety, things started to get better.


OP here: Thank you so much for this. I'm hopeful that once the exact issues are determined we will see improvement. This has all come on so quickly.


Question - you mentioned there were no issues in K or 1st for behavior. Would ADHD present at this age without hints earlier? Asking out of ignorance, but this part struck me.