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Anonymous wrote:You are typical, bored, rich housewife!
A privileged one in today's world.
Don't blow it all off with your stupidity.
Find a sense and purpose. There is enough misery in this world to fill your days forever. Get to helping others.

Amen to this! Product of "All about me," culture. Guess what, life is hard, like is not just about you. It is about your family, your parents, your kids, your husband. What exactly do you think other parents talk about after 10 years? Marriage is not a fairy tale, it is an actual institution that takes a lot of effort. Are you making some effort in your marriage? My SIL did the same thing, right around 10 years of marriage, bcs her DH wasn't emotionally there for her. That is true, he wasn't, and he was selfish and didn't know how to change. He earned the money and he thought that is all he needs to do. Yes, he was wrong, but so was she. He now earns couple of mil per year, and by court's order, her alimony payments are done in a few months. She is thinking about food stamps, she has a business that was paid by money he earned, no money left for her salary and her kids are a total mess. (Psych ward mess) We all know it was bcs mom and dad played a game of is he doesn't take care of kids today, I won't tomorrow. I am guessing you go around threatening to divorce every few months. In words of Melania Trump(BTW, thanks Melania!) either do or don't!

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It is quite extreme to have 2 full time working parents when you have 3 kids under 10.

You're nuts.

Anonymous wrote:Seems like older generations accepted that life can be hard , boring and miserable in phases. Social media is loaded with whining. The whole idea people get that their life is supposed to be so fulfilling doesn't seem to be actually making people happy. Seems like more are bitchy, angry, frustrated or demoralized.

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Anonymous wrote:Step One - get your career going again and get a nanny that helps with the kids. See if it helps the marriage - if it doesn't, then at least you will be ready to stand on your own two feet

This is the most sane advice, rather than trying to sparkle yourself up into a gem he can't afford to lose, get your career back.

He's an ass to say he's the best you can do. It's also kind of gaslighty since he had to woo you in the first place.

OP here. DH earns around 2m per year. We were both graduate students when we started dating. He was humble and kind, hardworking and had lots of potential. Now he is a self important prick.

I feel for you, OP. What is preventing you from hiring help and doing some things - whether work or something else - that brings you personal happiness? Your overall dynamic might shift if you have your own sense of self and happiness. And to all of the "power" posters - he must realize that you can leave and take half of his wealth, no?

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Anonymous wrote:What you want to escape is your own misery. You come off like you don't have an actual complaint against your husband, just against your own unhappiness. He, divorce, kids can't make you happy and fulfilled in life. That is on you. I would like to be sympathetic, but you sounds like a whiner and immature. What did you think child raising and marriage is going to be like? So you divorce him and end up with three kids on your own, and way less money?

+1000. OP should seek mental health counseling for depression.

She is a SAHM whose husband makes 2M with 3 little kids and hates her life. So what will make her happy?

Anonymous wrote:You are typical, bored, rich housewife!
A privileged one in today's world.
Don't blow it all off with your stupidity.
Find a sense and purpose. There is enough misery in this world to fill your days forever. Get to helping others.

Anonymous wrote:What you want to escape is your own misery. You come off like you don't have an actual complaint against your husband, just against your own unhappiness. He, divorce, kids can't make you happy and fulfilled in life. That is on you. I would like to be sympathetic, but you sounds like a whiner and immature. What did you think child raising and marriage is going to be like? So you divorce him and end up with three kids on your own, and way less money?

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Anonymous wrote:DH won me over with effort. Now married for 10 years with 3 kids. Don’t think I can be in this loveless passionless dead marriage any longer. I am childcare. We talk about child logistics and that’s it. I’m so resentful. I gave up my lucrative career to stay home. DH takes me for granted. I seriously cannot stand my husband and feel totally stuck. Yesterday I told him I want out and he just brushed me off and said he was the best I could do.

I want to run away and restart. Then I look at my children’s sweet faces and can’t leave.

He actually said that he was the best you could do? Wow. I'd see that as a challenge.

Work on yourself, OP. Shape up. Plan your exit. Get some childcare for the kids and either go back to your career (full time or part time) or start a business or side job. Get yourself in control of your finances. Look after yourself. Get your power back.

+1. Many men don't respect their wives once they become SAHMs and stop putting in effort because SAHMs often ARE stuck. My own marriage improved once I got back in shape, got a job, and became a self-supporting adult because DH knew I had options and other men were taking an interest in me.

So much this.

Right, WOHMs get divorced less and little kids love being in daycare

Actually plenty of little kids love daycare.

+1

A lot of kids, especially toddlers, really enjoy the socialization. And there are many studies that show at certain ages it can be more enriching for children to be in a quality daycare.

I agree, but for how many hours a day? 5-6 hours? Sure. 9-10 hours? not so much.

What is your point, PP? OP is unhappy, and needs to find value in her life outside of her home/children. She's clearly in an unsustainable situation. We get it, you want to be a dependent doormat. She doesn't.

I don't want her to be a dependent doormat, but I don't think the other extreme to "get her power back" is the answer either. For her or her kids. Part time daycare and part time work sound ideal, and she is lucky to be in the position to pursue that avenue.

Anonymous wrote:Wow! The “best you can do” comment was harsh. He’s likely thinking about you as a single mother of 3 little ones. Add to that he makes a lot of money. He likely truly views you in that way. I really don’t know what to say except good luck.