Anonymous wrote:
OP cast the mistaken impression he was a gentleman.

First, he attends her family function like a slob. Second, he takes to anonymous chat to seek supporters for his misdeeds.

She can do far, far better.

Whether we agree he can do better or she can do better, the consensus is unanimous that he should run as fast as he can.

We are casual at Thanksgiving - we like to be comfortable. Not ratty or unkempt, but definitely no suit or tie - it wouldn’t occur to any of us to dress that way. A partner who is invested in things like formality (and who would be “horrified by jeans and a button-down shirt) is unappealing to me and not a match.

Anonymous wrote:No, my family's thanksgiving is casual.
She's still in a huff about this 3 weeks later. Imagein being married to a woman like that... your life will suck. Run.

+1 Yikes. You’ll be posting here in ten years so, so miserable. Please spare yourself, OP.

Anonymous wrote:What kind of family dresses up for Thanksgiving? Especially a suit and tie? What was she wearing and why didn't she tell you?

While I agree with the consensus that this relationship is trouble, many families do. Maybe it is a WASPY thing. In recent years we dress down a little more, but it's still not a jeans and t-shirt holiday. Nice sweaters and pants or a dress, button down shirt and sweater and dressier trousers for men for the larger family gathering. It's a holiday. I would always plan to dress up if going to someone else's house. I was also horrified when we went to a nicer restaurant a few years ago for Thanksgiving and we saw people in jeans, t-shirts and ballcaps in there.

OP cast the mistaken impression he was a gentleman.

First, he attends her family function like a slob. Second, he takes to anonymous chat to seek supporters for his misdeeds.

She can do far, far better.

Who makes these stupid rules? I dress the way I want, not how some Dilbert thinks I should

What kind of family dresses up for Thanksgiving? Especially a suit and tie? What was she wearing and why didn't she tell you?

Anonymous wrote:No, my family's thanksgiving is casual.
She's still in a huff about this 3 weeks later. Imagein being married to a woman like that... your life will suck. Run.

This x 1000000.

We dress up for Thanksgiving. That's just who we are. But the girlfriend should have told you in advance. Being upset about it a few weeks later is not a good sign.

How old are you? Always wear a nice jacket (blue blazer as a basic) when invited to someone’s house for dinner, especially the GF’s parents’. Good grief. And I pray you brought a hostess gift ...

No, my family's thanksgiving is casual.
She's still in a huff about this 3 weeks later. Imagein being married to a woman like that... your life will suck. Run.

Anonymous wrote:My girlfriend invited me to her home for Thanksgiving. All the other men wore jackets and ties. I was business casual. In my family, all the relatives dressed informally -- like jeans and flannel shirts. Anyway, she's still in a bit of a huff. I didn't know. I would have dressed up if I had.

Do the men in your family dress up for Thanksgiving?

Thanksgiving was like 3 weeks ago and your girlfriend is still upset about what you wore?
RUN away. Do not walk. Do not pass go. Enjoy the remainder of the holiday season in comfortable, nag-free clothing.

Anonymous wrote:1) she should have told you the dress code.

2) the most concerning thing is that she is still in a huff about it. In a healthy relationship, she would have said “whoops, forgot to tell you about the dress code. Totally my fault”. And to her family, she would have said “whoops, totally forgot to mention the dress code. My fault, not his.” The fact that this is a thing shows a lot about her and how conflicts will be handled in the future. DO NOT MARRY HER!!

All this!

In my UMC family, nobody has ever worn a jacket and tie to Thanksgiving.

Anonymous wrote:I have never ever heard of anyone dressing up for Thanksgiving.

If it was important to her, she should have let you know beforehand.

This.

You know how to ballroom dance, right Op? If not, then you should probably get some lessons pronto. The Winter Ball is coming up soon, you know. I hope you have your attire already.