Anonymous
Post 12/12/2017 12:02     Subject: "Cat Person"
Anonymous wrote:Women victim blaming on DCUM, what a shocker.

Margot is 20 years old. Robert is more than a decade her senior. While she did not act admirably, Robert is astoundingly stunted in his emotional development.


This is generally why society thinks 20 year olds should date people their own age rather than those 14 years older than them.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2017 11:47     Subject: "Cat Person"
Women victim blaming on DCUM, what a shocker.

Margot is 20 years old. Robert is more than a decade her senior. While she did not act admirably, Robert is astoundingly stunted in his emotional development.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2017 11:21     Subject: Re:"Cat Person"
It sounded to me like Robert reads tons of red pill/ PUA blogs in his spare time.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2017 10:56     Subject: "Cat Person"
I am OP and have not seen it at all related to metoo as it doesn't show or purport to show any harassment or rape situation.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2017 10:53     Subject: "Cat Person"
Anonymous wrote:Given the way Margot acted, I’m not sure why so many women seem to think this is in any way related to the #metoo sexual harassment/assault survivors.

It was bad sex. It happens. That’s not harassment, assault, or rape. And she was cruel to him which is what made him lash out at her in anger. It’s not like he called her a whore immediately after the sex. He wanted her to stay over and start a relationship. She didn’t like him.


I think the ONLY way this is related to that is that he called her a whore. But, it annoys me that it's getting wrapped up in that convo, since being called a whore by a dating partner you rejected <> being called a whore by, say, a boss or coworker or someone who has actual power over you.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2017 10:52     Subject: "Cat Person"
Anonymous wrote:Wow. You all are a harsh, judgmental bunch that either can't or willfully refuse to remember what it was like to be young and dumb.

I think it was an excellent portrayal of a sexual situation that many, many, many young women find themselves in but we hardly ever talk about. Nobody in the story has to be "right" or "wrong." Life is certainly more complicated than that. The story isn't supposed to be a morality play of some sort.

I liked it. I'm glad it was written and I'm glad people are talking about it.

Yes. Seems lots of PPs have forgotten about their early 20s.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2017 10:45     Subject: "Cat Person"
Given the way Margot acted, I’m not sure why so many women seem to think this is in any way related to the #metoo sexual harassment/assault survivors.

It was bad sex. It happens. That’s not harassment, assault, or rape. And she was cruel to him which is what made him lash out at her in anger. It’s not like he called her a whore immediately after the sex. He wanted her to stay over and start a relationship. She didn’t like him.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2017 10:45     Subject: "Cat Person"
Anonymous wrote:Wow. You all are a harsh, judgmental bunch that either can't or willfully refuse to remember what it was like to be young and dumb.

I think it was an excellent portrayal of a sexual situation that many, many, many young women find themselves in but we hardly ever talk about. Nobody in the story has to be "right" or "wrong." Life is certainly more complicated than that. The story isn't supposed to be a morality play of some sort.

I liked it. I'm glad it was written and I'm glad people are talking about it.


Totally agree.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2017 10:44     Subject: Re:"Cat Person"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I absolutely relate to this, from the part where he gets her number when she's working behind a counter to the angry texts at the end.

I don't think Margot comes off as a saint at all, but why should she? Life is complicated and no one is perfect. I think what this captures well is the balance between wanting to explore, date around and be open minded, but also be able to reject. Margot handled the rejection poorly (but I think many of us have been there and did no better), but so did Robert. He asked for her number, he kept reaching out and receiving radio silence, he sent the barrage of texts at the end.



She ghosted him then let her roommate send that cruel text. “I don’t like you, k? Thnx bye.”

If she didn’t want him to get mad at her, she could have texted him right after to explain that that wasn’t her and let him down in a more gentle fashion.


I said that I didn't think she handled that well, but Robert is in charge of his own reaction, too. If someone is bitchy to you, you don't need to escalate. I don't like the Taylor-Swiftian-style "ooh, look, you made me do something bad" attitude -- his behaviors are his, not hers.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2017 10:43     Subject: "Cat Person"
Wow. You all are a harsh, judgmental bunch that either can't or willfully refuse to remember what it was like to be young and dumb.

I think it was an excellent portrayal of a sexual situation that many, many, many young women find themselves in but we hardly ever talk about. Nobody in the story has to be "right" or "wrong." Life is certainly more complicated than that. The story isn't supposed to be a morality play of some sort.

I liked it. I'm glad it was written and I'm glad people are talking about it.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2017 10:36     Subject: Re:"Cat Person"
Anonymous wrote:I absolutely relate to this, from the part where he gets her number when she's working behind a counter to the angry texts at the end.

I don't think Margot comes off as a saint at all, but why should she? Life is complicated and no one is perfect. I think what this captures well is the balance between wanting to explore, date around and be open minded, but also be able to reject. Margot handled the rejection poorly (but I think many of us have been there and did no better), but so did Robert. He asked for her number, he kept reaching out and receiving radio silence, he sent the barrage of texts at the end.



She ghosted him then let her roommate send that cruel text. “I don’t like you, k? Thnx bye.”

If she didn’t want him to get mad at her, she could have texted him right after to explain that that wasn’t her and let him down in a more gentle fashion.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2017 10:35     Subject: "Cat Person"
Anonymous wrote:Margot got what she deserved. When you treat people like shit, you should expect them to lash out in anger.


Agreed.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2017 10:33     Subject: Re:"Cat Person"
I absolutely relate to this, from the part where he gets her number when she's working behind a counter to the angry texts at the end.

I don't think Margot comes off as a saint at all, but why should she? Life is complicated and no one is perfect. I think what this captures well is the balance between wanting to explore, date around and be open minded, but also be able to reject. Margot handled the rejection poorly (but I think many of us have been there and did no better), but so did Robert. He asked for her number, he kept reaching out and receiving radio silence, he sent the barrage of texts at the end.

Anonymous
Post 12/12/2017 10:16     Subject: "Cat Person"
Margot got what she deserved. When you treat people like shit, you should expect them to lash out in anger.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2017 10:10     Subject: "Cat Person"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m really surprised by the # of women who relate to this and think Robert was too aggressive.

He seemed like he was barely into her and she had to initiate/push everything along (including the sex! Which she didn’t even want but blamed him for) until after the sex when it flipped.

Robert shouldn’t have called her a whore. Granted. That seemed to come out if left field though. Until that point he was pretty considerate.

But I do think she lead him on. Don’t fuck guys you’re not into, duh. And if you’re stupid or naive enough to do that, don’t have the nerve to turn around and blame them for YOUR poor decisions. Bad sex is just bad sex. It’s not rape or assault, nothing to blame the guy on.


I see what you're saying, but I think what that analysis is missing is the fact that although he wasn't being pushy with his words, he WAS being manipulative with his actions. He would be condescending and openly cold, silent and dismissive to the point of almost being hostile when he was in "disapproval" of something seems said. When she reacted in the way that he wanted her to, he would reward her by immediately become reengaged and turning back up the attention and interest and effort. Of course part of this is on her and we all wish she had the confidence to not need his approval somehow, but such is life for many college sophomores. Sure you can say she lead him on and called all the shots in terms of accelerating the relationship forward, but I think it should be acknowledged that he was subtly pulling a lot of the strings and manipulating her in little ways, and he knew exactly what he was doing.


She realized he was doing that at the movies and the bar though. That’s when you Nope Nope Nope the hell out of there. I’ve bailed early on dates when I realized the guy was creepy or gross or just not right for me. Hell, I left my junior prom date early when I realized he expected me to put out when though we were just there as friends. “Thanks got the movie/drink, see you around.”

WHY on earth did she go home with him?! And it was Margot who suggested that and then had to push for it. And all the women who read this story are blaming HIM for being a creep! She pushed for the whole thing.