Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is someone for everyone. Really, truly, there is. For the disabled, for the mentally feeble person, for the "ugly" obese person. We are all made to love and to be loved.

+1

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Anonymous wrote:There is someone for everyone. Really, truly, there is. For the disabled, for the mentally feeble person, for the "ugly" obese person. We are all made to love and to be loved.

+1

There's a cute guy in a wheelchair that works in my area. I would let him (if he can).

I am a 33 year old woman who did marry a disabled man. He is 37, and from first appearances you would never know he is disabled. He suffers from Crohn's Disease and has major digestive problems that leave him in pain 24/7. It has rendered him unable to be employed because of the pain he goes through. He can walk, talk, and is highly intelligent. He collects SSD. When I first met him I underestimated how my life would change being married to a disabled person but I don't regret it. Before I met my husband, I was well respected, decent looking, and always had dates with other men. I have 2 college degrees, am smart, and have a great career in a high-profile job. However, in my husband's circle of friends and family I am looked down upon as "simple" and "unintelligent" for marrying my husband. I took on the stigma he receives from his friends and family and I am looked down upon and people who know mu husband think they are superior to me just because I married my husband. My income allows us to be comfortable and people are angry that my husband is disabled and owns a house. They question how we can afford to own a home or a car and insist that I am not capable of anything but working at McDonald's becaues I am married to a disabled person. Most people do not know my background or education and belittle my abilities just because of my husband's illness. We've been married for 7 years and are happy and we just laugh at the arrogance, ignorance, and small-mindedness of people and the shallowness and judement they put on people they don't really know. Is it worth it? YES!

If my husband became disabled while I was dating him or after we married I would of course stay with him and love him just as much. I fell in love with him and still am in love with him.

Would I date someone disabled? I would. I guess the disability matters to a degree. If I met someone with an emotional disability such as a personality disorder I would probably run. Sad i know, but my MIL likely has one and I don't think I could live with these behaviors unless they were well controlled-especially the emotional abuse. If the person had an emotional disability and was getting proper treatment I would not discriminate or at least I think I would not.

Re:physical disability..If I got to know the person and felt a strong connection and was asked out, I probably would have said "yes" and given things a try. I think one fear would be if I broke up with the person it would turn into being about the disability and me being a bad person rather than that the relationship isn't working. This actually happened to me after 1 date with a man who had partial hearing loss and a speech impedement. I thought he was a nice guy so I agreed to a date, but he was all over me on our 1st date and when I wouldn't see him again he made it into me being anti-disability instead of anti-sleeziness.

In all honesty my answer to all of this would have been different in my late teens and early and even mid 20s, but I have enough life experience under my belt to know there are no guarantees in life for any of us and it's wonderful to have someone you truly love to go through life with.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it is primal--that a disabled person would not be able to protect and provide for you and your family as well as an able-bodied person?

Firearm is the great equalizer

Dad was disabled vet and was able to get preference for contracts and became very successful

There is someone for everyone. Really, truly, there is. For the disabled, for the mentally feeble person, for the "ugly" obese person. We are all made to love and to be loved.

This thread is from 2009.

You know, before I had a kid I would have unequivocally said yes. However, now that I have a 3 year old, I think it would pose a real problem for me if my spouse had a disability that would prevent them from helping to take on part of the physically exhausting, difficult work that is childrearing. I would still definitely marry someone who was blind, deaf, in a wheelchair without use of their legs but with use of upper limbs, because they is still a ton they could do to help out. But if someone was paralyzed from the neck down etc., I am not sure. I think their ability to deal with a little kid would be significantly less, and that would cause me to resent them.

Maybe it is primal--that a disabled person would not be able to protect and provide for you and your family as well as an able-bodied person?