Anonymous
Post 11/26/2017 15:52     Subject: Re:Why don't you want the family china?
I have three sets of china. I don’t want anyone else’s.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2017 14:10     Subject: Re:Why don't you want the family china?
I got my china from my mother about 20 years ago. Rarely use it because it's heavy but I do keep it because I respect my mother's memory and what she did to buy it. She saved years for it.








Anonymous
Post 11/26/2017 13:49     Subject: Why don't you want the family china?
Because it gets insane. I have 12 place settings of my great grandmotehr's 50th wedding anniversary China, 8 of my mom's Christmas China, silver and China from my own wedding plus my casual stuff. My mom is still alive and she has hermoms china plus her own. I don't need 6 sets of China.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2017 13:14     Subject: Re:Why don't you want the family china?
must be handed washed, have no butler pantry, it is stored in the attic just as it was moved here when I thought I wanted it. I have a small house, no need for 2 sets of china.

Anonymous
Post 11/26/2017 12:41     Subject: Re:Why don't you want the family china?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There are things worse than family china. Persian rugs.


DH bought them and I hate them.


Hmm. I appreciate Persians. We have several. I'm not quite sure why there's this blanket rejection of Persians by some people because there's so many different types of Persians. But each to its own.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2017 11:49     Subject: Re:Why don't you want the family china?
Anonymous wrote:My mother has this sort of mentality. She keeps, and expects me and my brother to keep, all these 'family' things. For years, I did. Until, I realized that I had no room for the stuff I liked because I was keeping everyone else's stuff. I was on track to having a house just like my mothers - filled with stuff that had belonged to someone else, many of whom I never knew, but very little that reflected me or my tastes. My half sister (different mothers) gave me the courage to start getting rid of it. I took a picture of the item and sent it to relatives, giving them first right of refusal. If no one wanted it, I got rid of it.

My mother is appalled and would sometimes take what I'm ready to get rid of. She claims I'm getting rid of my kids' heritage. I think of it as allowing my kids the freedom to develop their own tastes and not be burdened by items belonging that hold no feeling/memories for them. I've kept a couple of larger pieces and still have a lot of small pieces - like the cowbell from the old family farm. We take it to all the games! Now THAT is a great family item! It not only has a nice story, we have our own memories of it.


That sounds very cool and it is a great story! Very cool! I also like your idea of pictures to send out for rights of first refusal!
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2017 11:47     Subject: Re:Why don't you want the family china?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is funny that you are posting about this because our conversation around the dinner table on Thanksgiving Day was about the china, crystal and silver. We talked about the heritage of the items and the stories we associate with them.

I read an article a few years ago in WaPo that said that people are turning away from the old stuff. For some reason our family is different. My sister and mother and I are in the midst of scouring E-bay, Replacements, estate sales and every other place we can think of to add to our sets so that as our families get bigger with weddings and babies and such that we can handle the population explosion. Our children are also asking about specific sets (Nana's china, Great-Grandma's china, PeePaw's crystal). So we are also working under the philosophy that we want sets of 12-14 of everything to pass along. It is a pretty tall order.

As we were setting up on Thursday, I asked the kids what they thought about using all of this "old fashioned" stuff. One of the teen boys said that it was "stunning" and the rest of the kids agreed. I think they were right. The table looked absolutely stunning with 100 year-old crystal and china and silver. And it pleased us all that we had such a wonderful connection with those relatives who have gone before us.

Anyway, we look at it as our effort at reuse and renew. I think my grandparents and great-grandparents would be thrilled! Sorry if I'm offering a different take than the title but I did want to chime in with the perspective of our family, which as per usual seems to be going against the current.


God, you sound smug.


What set you off? The fact that we have it and use it OR the fact that the kids appreciate it?

Given that my great-grandfather brought his entire family here to escape the Holocaust and that with a 6th grade education managed to establish a wonderful foundation for his family, I'll take smug any day. So when we talk about specific items we do say things like 'this was the first set of china that grandma bought when...' and then 'this was the celebration china that grandpa bought grandma when...'.

Our children are fourth generation. It will be over my dead body that they forget what it took our elders to get them what they've got now and what they soon will pass down to their children accompanied by their own accomplishments.

And, btw, your tone? It sounds jealous. But be careful before you ask to walk in my shoes or the shoes of any of my elders. I think that you will find the shoes are much too large and that you won't be able to wear them let alone climb out of them.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2017 11:18     Subject: Re:Why don't you want the family china?
Anonymous wrote:There are things worse than family china. Persian rugs.


DH bought them and I hate them.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2017 10:22     Subject: Why don't you want the family china?
1. It's OK but not really my taste.
2. I am single and my siblings are married with kids, so for most holidays I go to them. As a result, I rarely use it.

I am hoping to pass my set along to a younger cousin (same side of the family) who was recently married.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2017 09:46     Subject: Re:Why don't you want the family china?
My mother has this sort of mentality. She keeps, and expects me and my brother to keep, all these 'family' things. For years, I did. Until, I realized that I had no room for the stuff I liked because I was keeping everyone else's stuff. I was on track to having a house just like my mothers - filled with stuff that had belonged to someone else, many of whom I never knew, but very little that reflected me or my tastes. My half sister (different mothers) gave me the courage to start getting rid of it. I took a picture of the item and sent it to relatives, giving them first right of refusal. If no one wanted it, I got rid of it.

My mother is appalled and would sometimes take what I'm ready to get rid of. She claims I'm getting rid of my kids' heritage. I think of it as allowing my kids the freedom to develop their own tastes and not be burdened by items belonging that hold no feeling/memories for them. I've kept a couple of larger pieces and still have a lot of small pieces - like the cowbell from the old family farm. We take it to all the games! Now THAT is a great family item! It not only has a nice story, we have our own memories of it.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2017 09:32     Subject: Why don't you want the family china?
I think my MIL has a set for us, which she is storing in her enormous home. As of this moment, we are in a row house and do not have the space. Also, we have a baby and a toddler and I have zero desire to use special dishes that require extra work.

Perhaps when the kids are older, and if we have a bigger home with space to store it.

Otherwise, it's just not something that is important enough to me to deal with the tradeoffs (figuring out storage, special handling).
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2017 08:36     Subject: Why don't you want the family china?
Just had an estate sale where I got rid of 3 generations of family China (yes! My mom was a hoarder!).
I don’t even want my wedding china anymore. It’s pretty but doesn’t go in microwave or dishwasher and I prefer using my every day stuff and I don’t really entertain. Trying to figure out how to get rid of it- give away? Donate? Well to Replacements Inc?
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2017 08:35     Subject: Re:Why don't you want the family china?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is funny that you are posting about this because our conversation around the dinner table on Thanksgiving Day was about the china, crystal and silver. We talked about the heritage of the items and the stories we associate with them.

I read an article a few years ago in WaPo that said that people are turning away from the old stuff. For some reason our family is different. My sister and mother and I are in the midst of scouring E-bay, Replacements, estate sales and every other place we can think of to add to our sets so that as our families get bigger with weddings and babies and such that we can handle the population explosion. Our children are also asking about specific sets (Nana's china, Great-Grandma's china, PeePaw's crystal). So we are also working under the philosophy that we want sets of 12-14 of everything to pass along. It is a pretty tall order.

As we were setting up on Thursday, I asked the kids what they thought about using all of this "old fashioned" stuff. One of the teen boys said that it was "stunning" and the rest of the kids agreed. I think they were right. The table looked absolutely stunning with 100 year-old crystal and china and silver. And it pleased us all that we had such a wonderful connection with those relatives who have gone before us.

Anyway, we look at it as our effort at reuse and renew. I think my grandparents and great-grandparents would be thrilled! Sorry if I'm offering a different take than the title but I did want to chime in with the perspective of our family, which as per usual seems to be going against the current.


God, you sound smug.


I don't think she sounds smug, and I appreciated hearing her thoughts. Why so cranky?
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2017 07:41     Subject: Re:Why don't you want the family china?
Anonymous wrote:It is funny that you are posting about this because our conversation around the dinner table on Thanksgiving Day was about the china, crystal and silver. We talked about the heritage of the items and the stories we associate with them.

I read an article a few years ago in WaPo that said that people are turning away from the old stuff. For some reason our family is different. My sister and mother and I are in the midst of scouring E-bay, Replacements, estate sales and every other place we can think of to add to our sets so that as our families get bigger with weddings and babies and such that we can handle the population explosion. Our children are also asking about specific sets (Nana's china, Great-Grandma's china, PeePaw's crystal). So we are also working under the philosophy that we want sets of 12-14 of everything to pass along. It is a pretty tall order.

As we were setting up on Thursday, I asked the kids what they thought about using all of this "old fashioned" stuff. One of the teen boys said that it was "stunning" and the rest of the kids agreed. I think they were right. The table looked absolutely stunning with 100 year-old crystal and china and silver. And it pleased us all that we had such a wonderful connection with those relatives who have gone before us.

Anyway, we look at it as our effort at reuse and renew. I think my grandparents and great-grandparents would be thrilled! Sorry if I'm offering a different take than the title but I did want to chime in with the perspective of our family, which as per usual seems to be going against the current.


God, you sound smug.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2017 07:40     Subject: Re:Why don't you want the family china?
I love my china. I'm inheriting a good amount of expensive antiques as well and figure the china, crystal and silver will look fantastic in my new home. Plan on using an interior designer to help with linens along with everything else.