Anonymous wrote:I grew up with a prominent heiress, multi-gen Ivy pedigree. Moderately smart, certainly not Ivy caliber. Ended up at the family Ivy, majored in something easy. She doesn't work, she married some layabout jock she knew from high school.

I guess my takeaway is what exactly is OP's kid going to get out of P? It's not fun being the bottom decile of the class surrounded by hyper-aggressive tiger cubs. That scene is not for everyone -- it's torture to most kids.

What if he flunks out or transfers? Doesn't bode well for the next family member who actually wants to get in.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Why don't they understand that it's BECAUSE of your family legacy there that he doesn't want to go? There will be siblings or cousins who will go, so no worries, his generation of the family will be represented there.

I would encourage him to branch out.

But then I suspect that the reason you're all pressuring him is that you're afraid he won't get into an Ivy without his legacy status

OP here. This is not why at all. He intends to apply to places like HYS, other ivies etc anyway. He is a very competitive and accomplished kid in his own right, near the very top of his class. However, he hasn't won an international award or something super extraordinary to guarantee him admission at HYS. At Princeton our legacy status differentiates him from other similarly qualified kids. The other reason the family is pressuring him is that they want him to carry on the tradition, which I understand sounds outlandish to most. You need to understand that a family with such a long tradition in a specific school eventually develops a kind of warped perception of reality. For most of my family members it is as if there was no other college in the world other than Princeton.

Anonymous wrote:If he's only a junior, let it sit for now. Tell DH he has to cool it or jr will keep digging in his heels. Do NOT bring up college at all for the next several weeks. Let him do some exploring and let him feel like he has some control over his own life. After the new year, ask him which schools he would like to visit. In an ideal world he will choose Princeton but he might not. There's also always graduate school.

Anonymous wrote:The winning advice has already been given.

1. Back off for now. Look at other colleges. Let him formulate his own opinions and maybe realize the grass isn't always greener.

2. Late summer, early fall, talk to him about reality. He can apply non-binding Early Action to Princeton, and then apply anywhere else he wants Regular Decision.

3. Spring 2018, visit all the schools he's gotten into. Let him pick his own college.

The ultimate decision is almost 18 months away, and you are getting nowhere by ramping up insane pressure now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Why don't they understand that it's BECAUSE of your family legacy there that he doesn't want to go? There will be siblings or cousins who will go, so no worries, his generation of the family will be represented there.

I would encourage him to branch out.

But then I suspect that the reason you're all pressuring him is that you're afraid he won't get into an Ivy without his legacy status

OP here. This is not why at all. He intends to apply to places like HYS, other ivies etc anyway. He is a very competitive and accomplished kid in his own right, near the very top of his class. However, he hasn't won an international award or something super extraordinary to guarantee him admission at HYS. At Princeton our legacy status differentiates him from other similarly qualified kids. The other reason the family is pressuring him is that they want him to carry on the tradition, which I understand sounds outlandish to most. You need to understand that a family with such a long tradition in a specific school eventually develops a kind of warped perception of reality. For most of my family members it is as if there was no other college in the world other than Princeton.

Anonymous wrote:It will serve him right not to apply OP and end up somewhere sub-par. You are really exaggerating to think he is a "shoe in" for Princeton. It is #1 on USNWR. I think you'd be surprised how many legacies don't get in.

He might end up at UMBC ...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Why don't they understand that it's BECAUSE of your family legacy there that he doesn't want to go? There will be siblings or cousins who will go, so no worries, his generation of the family will be represented there.

I would encourage him to branch out.

But then I suspect that the reason you're all pressuring him is that you're afraid he won't get into an Ivy without his legacy status

OP here. This is not why at all. He intends to apply to places like HYS, other ivies etc anyway. He is a very competitive and accomplished kid in his own right, near the very top of his class. However, he hasn't won an international award or something super extraordinary to guarantee him admission at HYS. At Princeton our legacy status differentiates him from other similarly qualified kids. The other reason the family is pressuring him is that they want him to carry on the tradition, which I understand sounds outlandish to most. You need to understand that a family with such a long tradition in a specific school eventually develops a kind of warped perception of reality. For most of my family members it is as if there was no other college in the world other than Princeton.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Why don't they understand that it's BECAUSE of your family legacy there that he doesn't want to go? There will be siblings or cousins who will go, so no worries, his generation of the family will be represented there.

I would encourage him to branch out.

But then I suspect that the reason you're all pressuring him is that you're afraid he won't get into an Ivy without his legacy status

OP here. This is not why at all. He intends to apply to places like HYS, other ivies etc anyway. He is a very competitive and accomplished kid in his own right, near the very top of his class. However, he hasn't won an international award or something super extraordinary to guarantee him admission at HYS. At Princeton our legacy status differentiates him from other similarly qualified kids. The other reason the family is pressuring him is that they want him to carry on the tradition, which I understand sounds outlandish to most. You need to understand that a family with such a long tradition in a specific school eventually develops a kind of warped perception of reality. For most of my family members it is as if there was no other college in the world other than Princeton.