Anonymous
10/30/2017 17:55
Subject: Re:At what point does a favor become a burden?
Wow, this is one of the most self absorbed/clueless posts I've seen on DCUM, and that's saying a lot. For those defending the op, it would be one thing if she had just left it at the fact that the favor was posing difficulties on her end and that she was seeking advice on how to get out of it, but she specifically felt the need to point out that 1. Her 3 week postpartum neighbors had not yet reciprocated the favor and 2. That surely same parents of 3 week old twins (plus at least one older child!)!must have their routine down by now. This is why she's being deservedly attacked for being completely tone deaf.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 17:54
Subject: Re:At what point does a favor become a burden?
Wow. So many of you women are simply ugly bitches. Nothing more.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 17:52
Subject: At what point does a favor become a burden?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op think about it. Even if it's minorly annoying, and I believe it is, is it SO inconvenient you cang just help out a fellow mom who now has TWO newborns to deal with? For you it's maybe 10 minutes. What would it take for her to get the kids AND the babies in the car every morning? Isn't it better for the older kids to not feel rushed and chaotic because mom isn't wrangling two screaming hungry babies to get them to school?
Sometimes being a good helpful person means you just suck it up and do the annoying thing that has a tiny impact on your life but is a HUGE deal for someone else. This is one of those times.
so for how many years do you suggest OP keeps doing this? perhaps she should take on the twins as well, when the time comes.
How about a couple more weeks? You know - just until the twins mother stops bleeding like a stuck pig and her nipples stop screaming?
Anonymous
10/30/2017 17:51
Subject: At what point does a favor become a burden?
I don't understand the attacks on OP. I think you have been very generous. Time for the other mom to figure out a new routine. Perhaps she needs a sitter in the a.m. ,or for the other parent to leave a bit later, or whatever. Her kids, her challenge to deal with.Tell her your schedule has changed and as of day x you won't be able to take her kids anymore.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 17:45
Subject: At what point does a favor become a burden?
Anonymous wrote:I would never have done the favour in the first place. This is why. You are now stuck with it.
NO. No she is not. They asked her for a few weeks and she did that. She's done.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 17:44
Subject: At what point does a favor become a burden?
Yet this mom might be back to work soon. I bet she can get the kids ready when a pay check is involved.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 17:43
Subject: At what point does a favor become a burden?
OP - how many weeks has it been? (People are saying 3 but I don't see where they got that) and How well do you know these neighbors?
I'm amazed at some of these responses that you should do it until they are STTN or spring. Heck no! I would do that for a very close friend but not a random neighbor. I feel like this is a case of no good deed goes unpunished. You did a really nice things for a few weeks and are getting grief because you don't want to do it forever. Really? The mom can hire help if she can't handle it at this point.
I'm amazed at some of these responses that you should do it until they are STTN or spring. Heck no! I would do that for a very close friend but not a random neighbor. I feel like this is a case of no good deed goes unpunished. You did a really nice things for a few weeks and are getting grief because you don't want to do it forever. Really? The mom can hire help if she can't handle it at this point.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 17:42
Subject: At what point does a favor become a burden?
Anonymous wrote:Op think about it. Even if it's minorly annoying, and I believe it is, is it SO inconvenient you cang just help out a fellow mom who now has TWO newborns to deal with? For you it's maybe 10 minutes. What would it take for her to get the kids AND the babies in the car every morning? Isn't it better for the older kids to not feel rushed and chaotic because mom isn't wrangling two screaming hungry babies to get them to school?
Sometimes being a good helpful person means you just suck it up and do the annoying thing that has a tiny impact on your life but is a HUGE deal for someone else. This is one of those times.
so for how many years do you suggest OP keeps doing this? perhaps she should take on the twins as well, when the time comes.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 17:41
Subject: At what point does a favor become a burden?
How old are the kids? Can they walk to your house? Is there a reason all the kids have to be driven to the bus stop in the first place?
Anonymous
10/30/2017 17:41
Subject: At what point does a favor become a burden?
I would never have done the favour in the first place. This is why. You are now stuck with it.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 17:38
Subject: At what point does a favor become a burden?
Op think about it. Even if it's minorly annoying, and I believe it is, is it SO inconvenient you cang just help out a fellow mom who now has TWO newborns to deal with? For you it's maybe 10 minutes. What would it take for her to get the kids AND the babies in the car every morning? Isn't it better for the older kids to not feel rushed and chaotic because mom isn't wrangling two screaming hungry babies to get them to school?
Sometimes being a good helpful person means you just suck it up and do the annoying thing that has a tiny impact on your life but is a HUGE deal for someone else. This is one of those times.
Sometimes being a good helpful person means you just suck it up and do the annoying thing that has a tiny impact on your life but is a HUGE deal for someone else. This is one of those times.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 17:37
Subject: At what point does a favor become a burden?
It’s awesome that you’re helping, but if it’s becoming something that you’re begrudging this family for it’s best to stop. Your schedule has changed.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 17:34
Subject: At what point does a favor become a burden?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How does it take an 10 minutes? How close do they live to you? Are they not ready when you are?
Are you dense? She’s not leaving and going from A to B. She’s leaving and going to another house, parking, waiting for kids to come out (even if they are ready, they still have to come out, get in, plop down backpacks, strap in, and THEN drive to B.
It's TEN extra minutes. For God's sake, the mom is still bleeding from childbirth. And then we wonder why there is no sense of community anymore. She is spending an extra ten minutes to help another person get through the day. It's in their neighborhood. She is just taking the kid(s) to the SAME bus stop her kid is going to. Nothing bolded is REALLY putting OP out.
Sure, OP, tell this woman 3 weeks out from having twins that that 10 minutes is ruining your morning. I mean...what type of favor is she supposed to return for you 3 weeks postpartum?
Anonymous
10/30/2017 17:13
Subject: At what point does a favor become a burden?
Anonymous wrote:I am shocked that everyone is attacking OP. I think you are being taken advantage of and, I don't know about the rest of y'all, but ten minutes in the morning is a lot.
Tell her that you can give her another week, but then your schedule is changing.
It was nice of you to do it for three weeks!
+1. So many entitled people on this thread!
Anonymous
10/30/2017 17:13
Subject: At what point does a favor become a burden?
Anonymous wrote:How does it take an 10 minutes? How close do they live to you? Are they not ready when you are?
Are you dense? She’s not leaving and going from A to B. She’s leaving and going to another house, parking, waiting for kids to come out (even if they are ready, they still have to come out, get in, plop down backpacks, strap in, and THEN drive to B.