Anonymous
Post 11/01/2017 07:45     Subject: When is teen violence ok?
Anonymous wrote:He held her against a wall. She felt threatened and defended herself. Do not question whether she overreacted or not. You’re not condoning violence. You’re condoning her defending herself.

I’d go back and back pedal the nonsense about being “measured.” He had no right to pin her against a wall. It wasn’t up to her to decide how to be “measured” in her response.


You sound like a police officer defending the actions of another cop (the daughter). I like what I'm hearing on DCUM!!!
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2017 00:01     Subject: When is teen violence ok?
I wouldn't believe her version of the story. She's creating some drama in case the broken nose part is pinned on her.
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2017 20:50     Subject: Re:When is teen violence ok?
Anonymous wrote:The OP is endangering her child with her inaction. This kid assaulted her daughter and she is doing the following:

1. Teaching her daughter that she should not report abuse.
2. That being held against a wall and being kissed against your will is only slightly bad and only deserves an open handed slap.
3. Send DD back to school with a boy whose nose she broke when he assaulted her and hope he will no longer be violent. It is high school word will get around, and he may want revenge.

At a minimum go to the mother should talk to the school counselor with whom the conversation should be confidential, and find out what your options are. What ever you do, don't let this kid off the hook so he can do it to other girls.


+1. He needs to be reported for his actions. He needs help.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2017 11:18     Subject: When is teen violence ok?
I've always told my kids that violence is okay if they are defending themselves, being bullied, or defending a friend.

I'd be proud if this was my kid, OP!

I'd also report this to the school. Someone needs to know the real reason WHY his nose was broken. He may do it again and the next girl may freeze, unlike your daughter, and just allow the assault to happen.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2017 10:28     Subject: Re:When is teen violence ok?
Of course she did the right thing.

And when you are fighting off an attack I'm not sure you are thinking clearly enough to be able to calculate how much damage you are going to inflect. Tough shit he has a broken nose.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2017 09:50     Subject: When is teen violence ok?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow, in come the MRA to silence the women again.


MRA?

Again, she shouldn't have broken his nose. You shove the person away and scream at them. That way you get attention and witnesses.


Completely disagree. Have you ever been attacked? It’s hard to know precisely how much damage you’re going to do when you fight back. It’s not like the kid died or will have debilitating injuries. If he doesn’t want to get hurt, he ought not attack other people.


+1

If your daughter had punched him, and then continued to hit him after she had already stopped him, that would be something we would talk about. But a single punch to prevent someone from sexually assaulting her? I would have zero problems. It's not like she intended to break his nose. She intended to make him stop. Her actions were reasonable self-defense. I would sign her up for self-defense classes, so that she can learn some practical skills and strategies, but I would not suggest to her that she overreacted. Because she didn't.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2017 09:34     Subject: When is teen violence ok?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow, in come the MRA to silence the women again.


Where are you seeing that?


The posts where the message is NOT to report it.


That’s not MRA. That’s reality. If she reports it, they can easily cast it as an altercation in which the girl is punished for defending herself. At best case, they will try to figure out why the boy kissed her- do they have a relationship? Did he think she was flirting? They will attempt to build context and that context will always look like the girl invited it rather than that the boy is a creep. Really, nothing good comes from reporting. It is so, so much better to exact the punishment yourself.


You represent the reason that young women get assaulted in the military. take the assault and keep your head down it is better to continue being assaulted than to stand up for yourself. This is not the 1950s, thanks to the internet a Principal that mishandles a case will get fired very quickly if for no other reason than the Superintendent wanting to keep their job.


She didn't take the assault though. She decked the guy and broke his nose. Good for her, and I think it's okay to consider it done.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2017 09:12     Subject: When is teen violence ok?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow, in come the MRA to silence the women again.


Where are you seeing that?


The posts where the message is NOT to report it.


That’s not MRA. That’s reality. If she reports it, they can easily cast it as an altercation in which the girl is punished for defending herself. At best case, they will try to figure out why the boy kissed her- do they have a relationship? Did he think she was flirting? They will attempt to build context and that context will always look like the girl invited it rather than that the boy is a creep. Really, nothing good comes from reporting. It is so, so much better to exact the punishment yourself.


You represent the reason that young women get assaulted in the military. take the assault and keep your head down it is better to continue being assaulted than to stand up for yourself. This is not the 1950s, thanks to the internet a Principal that mishandles a case will get fired very quickly if for no other reason than the Superintendent wanting to keep their job.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2017 09:08     Subject: Re:When is teen violence ok?
The OP is endangering her child with her inaction. This kid assaulted her daughter and she is doing the following:

1. Teaching her daughter that she should not report abuse.
2. That being held against a wall and being kissed against your will is only slightly bad and only deserves an open handed slap.
3. Send DD back to school with a boy whose nose she broke when he assaulted her and hope he will no longer be violent. It is high school word will get around, and he may want revenge.

At a minimum go to the mother should talk to the school counselor with whom the conversation should be confidential, and find out what your options are. What ever you do, don't let this kid off the hook so he can do it to other girls.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2017 20:14     Subject: When is teen violence ok?
Would you feel she was overreacting if this were a stranger? I think you'd be cheering her on.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2017 20:12     Subject: When is teen violence ok?
She absolutely did the right thing! Good for her!!
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2017 20:00     Subject: When is teen violence ok?
Anonymous wrote:I would not be mad. She did the right thing.


Same. I can't see how it would be illegal or even unethical. Self-defense. Nobody is allowed to put their hands on your daughter without her permission, ever.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2017 19:56     Subject: When is teen violence ok?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow, in come the MRA to silence the women again.


Where are you seeing that?


The posts where the message is NOT to report it.


That’s not MRA. That’s reality. If she reports it, they can easily cast it as an altercation in which the girl is punished for defending herself. At best case, they will try to figure out why the boy kissed her- do they have a relationship? Did he think she was flirting? They will attempt to build context and that context will always look like the girl invited it rather than that the boy is a creep. Really, nothing good comes from reporting. It is so, so much better to exact the punishment yourself.