Anonymous wrote:If you're a white gentile you can do everything right and your kid will still have basically no shot at the elites. Just be happy with UVA.

Honestly - this is the truth. My daughter is at a top 5 private and the only kids that get into the top schools are legacy white kids paying full tuition or minorities, especially if their parents hadn't gone to a 4 year college. Admissions swoon over them to the point that they shut others out. It is an almost guarantee you will get in. This is no different than public schools like Richard Montgomery too. Dark skin + uneducated parents + decent scores = Top 20 schools. If you are an immigrant? Even more so. Illegal immigrant? They will pay a full ride to educated a person who broke a federal law and can not even legally work here. It is sad when the top 5% of the class is shut out of some schools and then a few AA with just okay grades/scores get into Yale, Cornell, Columbia. This happens every year at my daughter's school. We are just starting the process and my daughter is already well aware she is looking further down the line. She didn't really want ivy anyway. She has great but not the best grades, Probably around top 10%. 3 season athlete with only one she truly excels and could possibly play D3. but she does a ton of leadership activities in and outside the school that make her happy. Going to college open houses it is becoming more apparent that schools are focused on immigrants and international students. Some colleges were as high as 28% international students. So the competition is fierce. She is just looking at schools that fit her lifestyle and majors she wants and is surprisingly picking schools that tend to be easier to get into. She likes the students and the scene there more.


My advice? Let your kid be themselves. Their true selves. Overworking them for perfection will make them miserable and I guarantee you will be upset with the college outcome like 99% of parents are that are expecting too much. There are so many great schools out there and there is so much less pressure at schools that aren't highly ranked. I can't find the article but they interviewed kids that were initially embarrassed about the colleges they did not get into 2 year later and where they were. It was so redeeming. One part was about a child from Phillip Exeter getting shut out of all her top picks and only getting into one school (out of 5 easy back-ups.) She was mortified and sad. But once she got to the college, she realized there was less pressure than boarding school. She started a great new club, created new curriculum with a professor, and received top notch internships and getting straight A's while having a healthy lifestyle. She said there were friends of her leaving other schools, one went home after a breakdown, and others trying to win the race to nowhere with thousands of other kids just like them. So she was happy where she was and said the past is in the past. I don't want the race to nowhere for my child. I loved hearing these stories. There is always grad school and I think older more mature kids can handle the aspects of ivy/top grad schools more than 18 year olds. A bachelors just isn't what it used to be.

Anonymous wrote:-that a lot of people make stuff up to scare you
-that counselors aren't all-knowing, but they aren't clueless. It seems like those are the two scenarios presented
-that the colleges will work with you if something is late. We assumed the deadline was THE deadline
-that some of the people who brag about connections aren't as important as they want you to think they are

+100

-that a lot of people make stuff up to scare you
-that counselors aren't all-knowing, but they aren't clueless. It seems like those are the two scenarios presented
-that the colleges will work with you if something is late. We assumed the deadline was THE deadline
-that some of the people who brag about connections aren't as important as they want you to think they are

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take the ACT and SAT/PSAT as early and often as you can for practice. The scores on those exams are very important.

Don't take SAT subject exams too early - 11th grade spring is fine.

Try to get a leadership position in some EC (I know it's hard but it helps). If you don't try to be noticed as a leader in any event.

Around 11th grade pay a lot of attention in class and make notes about good things that have happened in class -- did you do really well on a particular tough exam; did you participate really well in some discussion; etc. Because these teachers will likely be your college recommenders. If you can can make a memorable impression - or refresh the teacher's recollection with specifics of how you contributed - that will make for better recommendations.

Think about attending a summer camp in something at a school you would like to attend.

Contribute somewhere - at school, church, the animal shelter - wherever so you have some public service.

My daughter got shut down at most of the colleges she applied to. She had:

- straight A average, many Aps, scored 5s on most, 4s on the others
- lots of volunteer hours
- Years of music instruction - excellent piano player
- STEM award
- Wellesley book award
- Varsity sport
- Very high test scores
- Great letters of recommendation

What she didn't have:

- Not a minority
- Not poor
- No hook


Years ago, she would have had colleges chasing her. Nowadays, in this overly PC world, what she didn't have is much more important than what she did. I tried to explain this to my daughter prior but she (and my husband) thought I was over-exaggerating. She now doesn't and she watches what goes on at her college with a more critical eye.

Your kid will be better served by one of the colleges that don't put as much emphasis on their ratings and endowments, and puts much more effort into educating your child

You again? Please get over yourself and stop blaming PC culture on the fact that your daughter didn't carefully choose a few safety schools but instead applied to colleges where admissions is a crap shoot and stats like hers were a dime a dozen.

+1,000. The problem is that top schools have 20-30,000 other applicants who look exactly like your kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take the ACT and SAT/PSAT as early and often as you can for practice. The scores on those exams are very important.

Don't take SAT subject exams too early - 11th grade spring is fine.

Try to get a leadership position in some EC (I know it's hard but it helps). If you don't try to be noticed as a leader in any event.

Around 11th grade pay a lot of attention in class and make notes about good things that have happened in class -- did you do really well on a particular tough exam; did you participate really well in some discussion; etc. Because these teachers will likely be your college recommenders. If you can can make a memorable impression - or refresh the teacher's recollection with specifics of how you contributed - that will make for better recommendations.

Think about attending a summer camp in something at a school you would like to attend.

Contribute somewhere - at school, church, the animal shelter - wherever so you have some public service.

My daughter got shut down at most of the colleges she applied to. She had:

- straight A average, many Aps, scored 5s on most, 4s on the others
- lots of volunteer hours
- Years of music instruction - excellent piano player
- STEM award
- Wellesley book award
- Varsity sport
- Very high test scores
- Great letters of recommendation

What she didn't have:

- Not a minority
- Not poor
- No hook


Years ago, she would have had colleges chasing her. Nowadays, in this overly PC world, what she didn't have is much more important than what she did. I tried to explain this to my daughter prior but she (and my husband) thought I was over-exaggerating. She now doesn't and she watches what goes on at her college with a more critical eye.

Your kid will be better served by one of the colleges that don't put as much emphasis on their ratings and endowments, and puts much more effort into educating your child

Where did she apply?

To 9 different schools, including four safeties, carefully avoiding Ivys. She did not want to go to Ivys. Most out of state. She was even wait-listed at Boston College, for Christ sakes. That would have been a no-brainer even 10 years ago before this ridiculousness.

Sounds like the kind of kid who really gets screwed by yield protection from those highly ranked schools that are a tier below the very top.