Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women think they can slut around in their late 20s and start finding a mate in their early 30s. Not a good combination for ticking clocks.

Do your shutting around 18-23, then seek a husband in your mid to late 20s.

Some men would prefer women who aren’t sluts in the first place

Then you can come on DCUM and complain your wife only pretended to like sex to get married and cut you off entirely once the ring was on.

OP - i don't think most people think about it in terms quite as severe as your friends put it (damaged goods....), but the reality is that the pools of both men and women dry up pretty quick after age 30. So regardless of what they're thinking of you, it begs the question of what do you think about them?

I'm 40, and had to wrack my brain to think of people in my social circles who met their significant other after age 30. I can think of one friend who did - he is quirky, and met a very quirky wife (she had been previously married). I think they will be happy together, and am not surprised given their quirkiness that they didn't find each other until mid thirties. Another friend (divorced) ended up sort of cohabitating and making babies with another woman in our social circle --they were both around 35 or so. Definitely an odd relationship. Not the kind of thing you dream about for your life when you're 22, but it totally works for them. Other than that, i can't think of any friends who met their significant other after age 30. I do, however, have a lot of friends who were single at age 30 and continue to be pretty perpetually single since then (10 years later). I remember when my DH and i were in our early 30s, having a discussion about how, despite the world telling you that everyone eventually meets their special someone, we had a LOT of single friends ages 32-37 who it was pretty clear were probably going to stay single. The people we were talking about (10 years ago) are all still single. In fact, most had pretty dry dating lives in their 30s.

Point of that is, of course no man is going around blacklisting attractive women as "damaged goods" just because she is post 30. That said, in my experience, the majority of single people at age 32 are unlikely to find a wonderful relationship. They will either stay more single than not, or will end up in the kind of relationship that isn't where they imagined they'd end up.

Anonymous wrote:Women are like a good whiskey. They get better and stronger with age.

No idiot that's men, women are like milk

Women are like a good whiskey. They get better and stronger with age.

OMG. Glad you told me.

So as long as I (a man) stay interested in sex I get to live? Cool. I am headed to Earl's and Bushel and Barrel in Tysons 1 ASAP.

ddintysons wrote:

This is strange. As a married woman, I can assure you marriage and men in general are overrated. If my husband dropped dead tomorrow I would enjoy the life insurance payout and never entertain marriage ever again. Most men are terrible in bed so not sure I'd entertain sex either unless I found a unicorn man. While men tend to live their entire lives focused on sex and female approval, most women do not. Many of us really just don't.l care.

PP - how does your DH feel in this marriage? Would he take the insurance payout from your death on the way to finding love with someone new without missing a beat? You complain about men (e.g., when you say "Most men are terrible in bed") but likely do not have a realistic outlook on your own marketability.

How do you know that men live their entire lives focused on sex and female approval while most women do not (what? - seek male approval?) I hope you really do not believe this crap and are just a garden variety troll.

When you state that most men are terrible in bed, do you mean the ones you have banged are terrible in bed (since you do not direct data on any others)?

How would your former f-buddies rate you? My bet, you think you were the highlight of their lives and still do and they cannot remember your name.

Most women are not damaged goods at any age. However, some (like this poster) are damaged at whatever age they are.

Because as soon as men lose sexual interest they usually die soon. That's a fact. Women go on to live years after menopause.

ddintysons wrote:

This is strange. As a married woman, I can assure you marriage and men in general are overrated. If my husband dropped dead tomorrow I would enjoy the life insurance payout and never entertain marriage ever again. Most men are terrible in bed so not sure I'd entertain sex either unless I found a unicorn man. While men tend to live their entire lives focused on sex and female approval, most women do not. Many of us really just don't.l care.

PP - how does your DH feel in this marriage? Would he take the insurance payout from your death on the way to finding love with someone new without missing a beat? You complain about men (e.g., when you say "Most men are terrible in bed") but likely do not have a realistic outlook on your own marketability.

How do you know that men live their entire lives focused on sex and female approval while most women do not (what? - seek male approval?) I hope you really do not believe this crap and are just a garden variety troll.

When you state that most men are terrible in bed, do you mean the ones you have banged are terrible in bed (since you do not direct data on any others)?

How would your former f-buddies rate you? My bet, you think you were the highlight of their lives and still do and they cannot remember your name.

Most women are not damaged goods at any age. However, some (like this poster) are damaged at whatever age they are.

I don't care what any of my previous partners think about me sexually. Obviously it bothers you that I wouldn't ever marry again and would be content staying single. I'm damaged because if my spouse died I wouldn't remarry? It's statistically true that most men go from relationship to relationship once they have had a serious partner or have been married.

This is strange. As a married woman, I can assure you marriage and men in general are overrated. If my husband dropped dead tomorrow I would enjoy the life insurance payout and never entertain marriage ever again. Most men are terrible in bed so not sure I'd entertain sex either unless I found a unicorn man. While men tend to live their entire lives focused on sex and female approval, most women do not. Many of us really just don't.l care.

PP - how does your DH feel in this marriage? Would he take the insurance payout from your death on the way to finding love with someone new without missing a beat? You complain about men (e.g., when you say "Most men are terrible in bed") but likely do not have a realistic outlook on your own marketability.

How do you know that men live their entire lives focused on sex and female approval while most women do not (what? - seek male approval?) I hope you really do not believe this crap and are just a garden variety troll.

When you state that most men are terrible in bed, do you mean the ones you have banged are terrible in bed (since you do not direct data on any others)?

How would your former f-buddies rate you? My bet, you think you were the highlight of their lives and still do and they cannot remember your name.

Most women are not damaged goods at any age. However, some (like this poster) are damaged at whatever age they are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women think they can slut around in their late 20s and start finding a mate in their early 30s. Not a good combination for ticking clocks.

Do your shutting around 18-23, then seek a husband in your mid to late 20s.

Some men would prefer women who aren’t sluts in the first place

No we don't.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is strange. As a married woman, I can assure you marriage and men in general are overrated. If my husband dropped dead tomorrow I would enjoy the life insurance payout and never entertain marriage ever again. Most men are terrible in bed so not sure I'd entertain sex either unless I found a unicorn man. While men tend to live their entire lives focused on sex and female approval, most women do not. Many of us really just don't.l care.

This is why I got divorced. When I die, I want my money to go to someone who loves me.

+1

True, but seriously, consider what a sad and pathetic life she leads...what a thing to announce with such matter-of-fact resignation.

Anonymous wrote:Women think they can slut around in their late 20s and start finding a mate in their early 30s. Not a good combination for ticking clocks.

Do your shutting around 18-23, then seek a husband in your mid to late 20s.

Some men would prefer women who aren’t sluts in the first place

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't really think about marriage until 30 or so. I met my DH at 32, married at 35, had a kid at 36, considering #2 at 39. I did have to focus on dating "seriously," but I had a blast doing it, met many nice people (just no chemistry), had a couple of short relationships and finally met my DH.

You really lucked out. I know a lot of women who did the same thing - not focus on marriage until 30. The problem is, you meet a guy at 31, then date for 2 years, and finally realize he's not the one. Now you're 33, start process again, and find out at 35 the same issue. Soon the biological clock is really ticking. It's a real gamble.. but what can you do?

When you date in your 30's it's fairly easy to spot guys who are incompatible. At this point in life nobody should date for more than 6 months if you're not on the same page about your future. Everyone I know who began dating their spouse in their30's were engaged within a year. You get much better about giving up the idea of someone having "potential" and focus on who they are now. If you have doubts, that's a clear sign to move on. Dating noncommittally for 2 years to see where things go is what 20 year olds do.

Anonymous wrote:This is strange. As a married woman, I can assure you marriage and men in general are overrated. If my husband dropped dead tomorrow I would enjoy the life insurance payout and never entertain marriage ever again. Most men are terrible in bed so not sure I'd entertain sex either unless I found a unicorn man. While men tend to live their entire lives focused on sex and female approval, most women do not. Many of us really just don't.l care.

This is why I got divorced. When I die, I want my money to go to someone who loves me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't really think about marriage until 30 or so. I met my DH at 32, married at 35, had a kid at 36, considering #2 at 39. I did have to focus on dating "seriously," but I had a blast doing it, met many nice people (just no chemistry), had a couple of short relationships and finally met my DH.

You really lucked out. I know a lot of women who did the same thing - not focus on marriage until 30. The problem is, you meet a guy at 31, then date for 2 years, and finally realize he's not the one. Now you're 33, start process again, and find out at 35 the same issue. Soon the biological clock is really ticking. It's a real gamble.. but what can you do?

It shouldn't take longer than 4-6 months for you to figure out if someone is marriage material. If you're not heading toward commitment and discussing it, move on. No drama, just realize wonderful as he may be, you're not on the same page. I mentioned two relationships in the two years I dated a lot, each around 3-4 months. There were some red flags with both from the start but there was also a real connection and in the case of the second one, chemistry like no other. So I stuck around for a bit. Over the following few months, it became clear one was insecure and the other had been dumped recently and they were just not a good match for me at the time. You have to know what you want and go get it. I don't think it was luck, or at least not mostly luck. I also don't think I'm somehow a special case. It was hard work but also fun. I must have gone on 50+ first dates...So much happier now. . OP, don't worry, you are young! Heck, I'm pretty sure I could do it again if needed at 40 or 45 if necessary (god forbid).

Women think they can slut around in their late 20s and start finding a mate in their early 30s. Not a good combination for ticking clocks.

Do your shutting around 18-23, then seek a husband in your mid to late 20s.