This reminds me. We sometimes let the kids believe we watched them (sports, musical performances, etc) but actually we sat in the car or outside, and read or chatted. We were there, and the audience was large enough and far enough away that they couldn't tell. We're bad/good parents.

OP, my dd is switching from gymnastics (fun to watch) to track (boring). Wish me luck.

Anonymous wrote:Wow, my parents came to almost every soccer and softball game from 5th grade to senior. Even stayed for varsity games when I was on JV and sat varsity (in case I got playing time). My parents were far from helicopter parents, but they enjoyed coming and made friends with some of the parents.

Anyway, I am 30 now and I definitely noticed the effort they put in to show up. I think kids care more than you think.

+1

My single mom managed to make most if not all of my games and meets. Even it was just the last few minutes, she showed up. My father never came to watch anything that didn't interest him. It was indicative of his interest in parenting. Randomly, he is a great grandfather - I guess because I had boys.

I'm 46 and my parents went to anything that my brothers or I were in (sports, plays, speeches, etc.). I had a good friend whose parents never came to anything and it made me sad for her because she noticed and really wanted her parents there at least sometime. I try to go to most of my kids' events - but they don't seem too worked up about it so I definitely feel fine about not going to them all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, my parents came to almost every soccer and softball game from 5th grade to senior. Even stayed for varsity games when I was on JV and sat varsity (in case I got playing time). My parents were far from helicopter parents, but they enjoyed coming and made friends with some of the parents.

Anyway, I am 30 now and I definitely noticed the effort they put in to show up. I think kids care more than you think.

That is awesome, but they must have had incredibly flexible jobs!

Why do you say that? that is odd.

DP, but I agree that your parents must not have had many responsibilities or hobbies outside their kids. Whether a parent shows up every time is not indicative of how much they love their child. I played sports through high school, and would find it odd if mine were there every single game. Definitely wanted them there for a big game. Of course these days every game / event is billed as a big game, right?

I have a runner. I go to some of the track meets (trying as prior posters have pointed out to get as close with timing for her events as possible). I go to most of the cross country meets. I feel no need to show up for everything my kids do. My kids never doubt for a second that I care about them, their development, their well-being etc. but they also know that I have minimal free time and they don't expect all of it to be spent on something that is really THEIR hobby/interest/activity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, my parents came to almost every soccer and softball game from 5th grade to senior. Even stayed for varsity games when I was on JV and sat varsity (in case I got playing time). My parents were far from helicopter parents, but they enjoyed coming and made friends with some of the parents.

Anyway, I am 30 now and I definitely noticed the effort they put in to show up. I think kids care more than you think.

That is awesome, but they must have had incredibly flexible jobs!

Why do you say that? that is odd.

So bottom line:

What does your daughter want and need. Lots of ways to show your love.

Can you go without showing your unhappiness? If not, stay clear. No one needs that.

I've never been to a track meet but they sound as boring as watching rowing. I have to help with driving so I am there the entire day. The kids have to help unload and load the boats too so we have to be there all day. My kid is in one or two events but even with good binoculars, who knows which boat he is in? He loves it and I like the team aspect. It also keeps him off video games all day which is another plus. But man, they are boring!

Don't go. It's her thing, not yours.
My working mom never ever went to my games. I didn't care a bit. But I loved when she'd take me out for ice cream after she picked me up from them.

My parents loved going to my track and cross country meets, but they hated (HATED) coming to my basketball games.

They also are wildly competitive people who enjoy watching me win. I never won in basketball, but was always in the mix for first place in x-country or track. They also like gambling on horse racing, so maybe track and cross country fed that interest.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just think of how bad it was for our parents. They didn't have smart phones or e-readers to pass the time. They actually had to watch or talk to other parents.

Nope. They weren't helicopter parents and were okay with missing many meets. They made the important meets which mattered.

Sorry, I am 47 and neither of my parents ever missed a game or meet. And I swam and did track. I should probably apologize to them : )

Gym is the same.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son swims, I feel the same about swim meets. There is lots of waiting for a minute to 2 minute swim. Do they ever ask for volunteers? It does make the time go faster.

Swim meets are the worst.

You say that because your kid doesn't run cross country. You watch them start. Then they disappear. So you watch an empty finish line. Woo Hoo.

At least with swimming there are other people swimming to watch. That's mildly entertaining. With cross country they're gone.

It's like if your kid was a competitive scuba diver.

I'm actually praying my kid does X country because I was a swimmer- I know you can't watch the race but its over in what? like 20 minutes? Aren't they 3 miles about? My poor parents breathed those nasty fumes for about 6 hours pretty often!

Twenty minutes? Were you high the entire time? Sounds like the nasty fumes were coming from one place and once place only.

Anonymous wrote:Wow, my parents came to almost every soccer and softball game from 5th grade to senior. Even stayed for varsity games when I was on JV and sat varsity (in case I got playing time). My parents were far from helicopter parents, but they enjoyed coming and made friends with some of the parents.

Anyway, I am 30 now and I definitely noticed the effort they put in to show up. I think kids care more than you think.

Soccer and softball are way different than track. Soccer is 60 minutes at most when they are younger and 90 minutes when they are older. Softball is longer but it is around 2 hours. Track meet go on for HOURS!
My sons play basketball (wasn't a sport I really liked or was interested in, but I find it somewhat exciting now) the games last an hour; baseball (2 hours for a game; I love it when they pitch or catch so there is more action); and soccer (1 hour for a game and most of that time my kids are running around on the field. My oldest did track last spring and the previous spring and it was brutal. He had to be there at 8 am and the meets ended at 2:30 or as late as 3:30. I had to volunteer 3 1/2 hours per home meet. He runs shorter distances so he would run for less than a minute then wait an hour, repeat all day. Ugh! I hope he doesn't want to do it again. My husband and I both volunteered to take our other kids to their sports instead. He signed up to be an assistant coach for baseball so he never had to go to the track meets and I got stuck volunteering. I am trying to convince the track kid to do baseball or lacrosse this spring.