Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, look up project Rachael.

I was just about to recommend this. A friend says she’s made more progress with forgiving herself than she did in years of therapy.

Maybe OP's fiance doesn't feel any guilt or need to forgive herself. Most women don't.

Sorry, every study indicates most women do feel guilt. you are a troll.

WRONG.
http://time.com/3956781/women-abortion-regret-reproductive-health/

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Catholic Church wedding? I'd think this would be an issue. Not disclosing what you know to be a sin is unethical and immoral.

And yet every couple we know who wanted to be married by their Catholic priest had to LIE to get permission. It's F-ed up.

All lied about what?

Having sex, using birth control.

For some: living together, planning to not have kids, etc. And after married - having IVF.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Catholic Church wedding? I'd think this would be an issue. Not disclosing what you know to be a sin is unethical and immoral.

And yet every couple we know who wanted to be married by their Catholic priest had to LIE to get permission. It's F-ed up.

Agreed. Everyone I know lied. My church here in Virginia wanted us to not have sex for a year until our wedding and asked about it every meeting. Also, if you lived together (we did not), they forced you to get separate apartments until the wedding.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Catholic Church wedding? I'd think this would be an issue. Not disclosing what you know to be a sin is unethical and immoral.

And yet every couple we know who wanted to be married by their Catholic priest had to LIE to get permission. It's F-ed up.

All lied about what?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you disclosed this I bet they wouldn't marry you, especially in our more conservative diocese here. The church here wouldn't marry my best friend who lived together.

That's what I assumed.

There are plenty of Catholics who have had abortions. Forgiveness is kind of our stock in trade. If your parish is run by someone like that, shop around.

I believe priests were given permission to forgive abortions. It used to be that you'd have to go to a Cardinal. Op, if you and your fiancee intend to be in the Church, then you should speak with your parish priest about this. If your fiancee isn't converting and you had nothing to do with the abortion, then leave it alone. If you were a part of the abortion and you have concerns, speak to your priest in confession.

What the frig churches are you people going to? My priests have always told me that if you feel fine with it in your heart, and it is not weighing on your soul as a sin, then you are okay, no need to confess it.

Anonymous wrote:Catholic Church wedding? I'd think this would be an issue. Not disclosing what you know to be a sin is unethical and immoral.

And yet every couple we know who wanted to be married by their Catholic priest had to LIE to get permission. It's F-ed up.

Don't ask, don't tell.

Former Catholic girl now Protestant woman.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you disclosed this I bet they wouldn't marry you, especially in our more conservative diocese here. The church here wouldn't marry my best friend who lived together.

That's what I assumed.

That's. It true.

I converted before marriage and asked the priest if I needed to go to confession. He said absolutely not. My upcoming baptism would wash away all prior sins. I took him at his word and got baptized and married in the church with no issues.

I went through RCIA as an adult. I went to confession before my baptism...

If you went to confession before a baptism, then you must have had what is called a "conditional baptism." The Catholic Church recognizes baptisms conducted by other Christian denominations, as long as they use the same words "I baptize you in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit." Because other denominations sometimes use other words such as "In the name of the Creator, the Redeemer, and the Sanctifier," or sometimes the minister might have a different intent (such as seeing the baptism as only symbolic), the Catholic Church will sometimes conduct a "conditional baptism," just in case the previous baptism was not valid. A person who has never been baptized before has all sins wiped away by baptism. Confession is actually a way to return to the innocence that we have right after our baptism. Hence, no confession before baptism.

anither catholic life hack would be to just go to a church where you know no one and confess. Preferably one with a full confessional. No one sees you, you get out of there.

For practicing Catholics, abortion is murder so it's not 'worse' than confessing murder.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, but until the Catholic Church fully cleanses itself of child abusers I wouldn't worry about a non-Catholic confessing about having an abortion. Over time I've moved from being pro-choice to only supporting very restrictive abortions but I'm still repulsed by the church's failure to fully cleanse itself. Yes, I'm a Catholic.

+1, and I’m a former Catholic who is now Protestant.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, look up project Rachael.

I was just about to recommend this. A friend says she’s made more progress with forgiving herself than she did in years of therapy.

Maybe OP's fiance doesn't feel any guilt or need to forgive herself. Most women don't.

Perhaps the male, Catholic op does, though?