Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We recently had a baby, and I'm completely flabbergasted that nobody (family) who visited the baby in the first days (other than my own parents) brought us food or even offered to bring us a freezer meal.

I'm NOT trying to sound like this is expected. But I'm a little confused. My parents came to visit right away, bringing us lunch that first day home. It was wonderfully received. We were all starved! That same evening, my ILs and DH grandparents came at dinner time, and not one person brought food or suggested food or ordered food. My DH figured out pizza while I struggled to get situated with a new baby. Other family came in the following days, but not one meal.

I've always assumed everyone fed the new parents. That's what I've always done! You visit, you bring a dish. Right? Are my hormones just raging, or is this crazy! Talk me down!

Now you know not to assume. I didn't receive food from anyone after the birth, and would have been very surprised to receive any! I don't get this food-train thing in general.
And having a healthy newborn is not really a big deal, OP. We came home with a special needs baby, I had tears, and we had no trouble cooking or taking care of ourselves. It was even easier with a healthy baby 5 years later.

I'm not trying to be mean. But there are plenty of much harder things in life, and I hope you never experience them.

Guess what, your experience is not universal. For many, many women having a newborn, even a healthy newborn, is a big deal. Many women are overwhelmed, their body hurts, they haven't gotten any sleep at all, they are having difficulty breastfeeding, and yes, they can barely take care of the baby, much less themselves, in those first few weeks.

I had a nightmare experience delivering my first child and it was an absolute nightmare taking care of him and myself for the first month. I would bet money that my very first year as a mother was harder than most new parents' first year, in terms of difficulties with my baby and difficulties with my body. This made me much more empathetic to others' experiences, even if what they experienced seems to pale in comparison to what I went through. Shame on you for dismissing someone else's postpartum story. Just be glad you "had no trouble" taking care of yourself.

That's terrible for sure and no one can prepare for that, but the good thing is something everyone can and should prepare for. Freeze in advance, buy a lot of frozen meals, have the delivery numbers handy, download the UberEATS app. Not that hard and we all know we will need to eat at some point.

Anonymous wrote:It could be a cultural thing? We are from Southern Asia. My parents were here for my delivery and stayed on for 6 months. Between, DH and my parents, my baby and I were well looked after. My MIL came for another 3 months and she was a great help too. My friends also offered to bring food but we did not need it because my mum was here.

I find it hard to comprehend how parents and ILs do not help out even if they are local - especially in such situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We recently had a baby, and I'm completely flabbergasted that nobody (family) who visited the baby in the first days (other than my own parents) brought us food or even offered to bring us a freezer meal.

I'm NOT trying to sound like this is expected. But I'm a little confused. My parents came to visit right away, bringing us lunch that first day home. It was wonderfully received. We were all starved! That same evening, my ILs and DH grandparents came at dinner time, and not one person brought food or suggested food or ordered food. My DH figured out pizza while I struggled to get situated with a new baby. Other family came in the following days, but not one meal.

I've always assumed everyone fed the new parents. That's what I've always done! You visit, you bring a dish. Right? Are my hormones just raging, or is this crazy! Talk me down!

Now you know not to assume. I didn't receive food from anyone after the birth, and would have been very surprised to receive any! I don't get this food-train thing in general.
And having a healthy newborn is not really a big deal, OP. We came home with a special needs baby, I had tears, and we had no trouble cooking or taking care of ourselves. It was even easier with a healthy baby 5 years later.

I'm not trying to be mean. But there are plenty of much harder things in life, and I hope you never experience them.

Guess what, your experience is not universal. For many, many women having a newborn, even a healthy newborn, is a big deal. Many women are overwhelmed, their body hurts, they haven't gotten any sleep at all, they are having difficulty breastfeeding, and yes, they can barely take care of the baby, much less themselves, in those first few weeks.

I had a nightmare experience delivering my first child and it was an absolute nightmare taking care of him and myself for the first month. I would bet money that my very first year as a mother was harder than most new parents' first year, in terms of difficulties with my baby and difficulties with my body. This made me much more empathetic to others' experiences, even if what they experienced seems to pale in comparison to what I went through. Shame on you for dismissing someone else's postpartum story. Just be glad you "had no trouble" taking care of yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We recently had a baby, and I'm completely flabbergasted that nobody (family) who visited the baby in the first days (other than my own parents) brought us food or even offered to bring us a freezer meal.

I'm NOT trying to sound like this is expected. But I'm a little confused. My parents came to visit right away, bringing us lunch that first day home. It was wonderfully received. We were all starved! That same evening, my ILs and DH grandparents came at dinner time, and not one person brought food or suggested food or ordered food. My DH figured out pizza while I struggled to get situated with a new baby. Other family came in the following days, but not one meal.

I've always assumed everyone fed the new parents. That's what I've always done! You visit, you bring a dish. Right? Are my hormones just raging, or is this crazy! Talk me down!

Now you know not to assume. I didn't receive food from anyone after the birth, and would have been very surprised to receive any! I don't get this food-train thing in general.
And having a healthy newborn is not really a big deal, OP. We came home with a special needs baby, I had tears, and we had no trouble cooking or taking care of ourselves. It was even easier with a healthy baby 5 years later.

I'm not trying to be mean. But there are plenty of much harder things in life, and I hope you never experience them.

Anonymous wrote:We recently had a baby, and I'm completely flabbergasted that nobody (family) who visited the baby in the first days (other than my own parents) brought us food or even offered to bring us a freezer meal.

I'm NOT trying to sound like this is expected. But I'm a little confused. My parents came to visit right away, bringing us lunch that first day home. It was wonderfully received. We were all starved! That same evening, my ILs and DH grandparents came at dinner time, and not one person brought food or suggested food or ordered food. My DH figured out pizza while I struggled to get situated with a new baby. Other family came in the following days, but not one meal.

I've always assumed everyone fed the new parents. That's what I've always done! You visit, you bring a dish. Right? Are my hormones just raging, or is this crazy! Talk me down!