Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 09:47     Subject: Re:Question for fellow SAHM's with HHI in the $200-$250k range
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
It's not HHI if you stay home. It's his income.


presumably she works at home. this is labor as well and has value--the idea that she has no power or right over their income because she has chosen to take on unpaid labor as an offset to what otherwise would be a joint expense (childcare and other forms of house work) is sexist and outdated.


I work at home too in addition to my full time job.



Yes, while someone else watches your kids. Thats the difference.

Not earning an income does not mean that you are on call 24 hours a day (for me it often does as my husband travels a lot), but when he is home we co parent and co help around the house probably much like you and your husband do.


No one watches my kids. They are in school full time and the youngest is 12, so they are able to stay home by themselves if they don't have sports or a club meeting after school.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 09:32     Subject: Re:Question for fellow SAHM's with HHI in the $200-$250k range
I am not a SAHM but I was for a while. Regardless of my working status, DH and I make financial decisions together. Either one has the right to veto any purchase over about $300.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 09:26     Subject: Re:Question for fellow SAHM's with HHI in the $200-$250k range
Anonymous wrote:Another "freeloading" SAHM, now SAHW. I've been at home for over 25 years. Married nearly 30 years. My DH loves that I am at home. I love being at home. I love decorating, cleaning, cooking, gardening, volunteering, taking care of my DH and our kids, etc. The money he earns is "our money". He would be the first to tell you that. He doesn't care how I spend it. I pay all the bills and manage our finances. If I wanted to do some home improvements, he would assume I had budged appropriately. If anything, he asks me before spending.

I think some of you have a very weird idea about how marriage should work. And it has nothing to do with who earns the money.


I feel like your situation isn't applicable to OP who does not have a firm grasp on the actual cost of the work she wants done and only awareness of the budget seems to be "we can afford it"
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 08:33     Subject: Question for fellow SAHM's with HHI in the $200-$250k range
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's not HHI if you stay home. It's his income.


I am a WOHM and the above statement is incorrect, wrong and deliberately cruel. There is plenty of work done by SAHMs, plenty to manage at home, of course this sort of decision should be joint.


The point is that it's not her income. Plain and simple. No one said her contribution isn't valuable. But it's not income.


Then why does she have to sign the tax return?
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 08:32     Subject: Question for fellow SAHM's with HHI in the $200-$250k range
FLing PP here. Great for you. I wish things had worked out for me. But 25 years ago staying home was not a radical, socially offensive decision. The best things about working again will be 1) no more money arguments; 2) no more justifying SAH to people I meet. I love my kids, I wanted to be fully available to them, feel so privileged to have been able to do this. Unlike you, I don't enjoy decorating, gardening, or taking care of my DH. Except for my kids, I am not much of a nurturer.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 08:26     Subject: Re:Question for fellow SAHM's with HHI in the $200-$250k range
Another "freeloading" SAHM, now SAHW. I've been at home for over 25 years. Married nearly 30 years. My DH loves that I am at home. I love being at home. I love decorating, cleaning, cooking, gardening, volunteering, taking care of my DH and our kids, etc. The money he earns is "our money". He would be the first to tell you that. He doesn't care how I spend it. I pay all the bills and manage our finances. If I wanted to do some home improvements, he would assume I had budged appropriately. If anything, he asks me before spending.

I think some of you have a very weird idea about how marriage should work. And it has nothing to do with who earns the money.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 08:12     Subject: Question for fellow SAHM's with HHI in the $200-$250k range
Freeloading SAHM here. I would do almost anything to get work. Because I have taken 8 years off raising 3 kids I will never get back to the same level. That's fine. Once the kids are out of the house I will gladly go back to Spartan living. If you are not happy all the money in the world does not matter. You know what the hint is, fellas? When your wife does not want any luxury goods or gifts from you, when she makes you promise not to buy jewelry or book expensive vacations, when she'd rather carry the cheap H&M purse than the couture bag you bought her, when she stops caring whether you like her clothes, hair, makeup.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 08:01     Subject: Re:Question for fellow SAHM's with HHI in the $200-$250k range
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
It's not HHI if you stay home. It's his income.


presumably she works at home. this is labor as well and has value--the idea that she has no power or right over their income because she has chosen to take on unpaid labor as an offset to what otherwise would be a joint expense (childcare and other forms of house work) is sexist and outdated.


I generally agree with this but let's be serious non nanny/housekeeper is making 250 k


If courts thought this way them SAHMs should not be eligible for 50% of net worth. Thank God society and courts put more value on a wife, mom who chooses to stay at home.


Which is why I should have walked as soon as I found out my exDW wasn't planning to work during the marriage.

Attention young men: the first step to her filing for divorce and taking half your possessions is when she quits work. When that happens prepare to exit the marriage.



Hmmm. I quit work 11 years ago, we are still happily married. Your bad choice is your own.


Exactly and I am warning others, don't let your wife stay at home. One day she will take half of everything you worked so hard for. In my case it took 20 years of freeloading before the divorce happened.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 07:47     Subject: Question for fellow SAHM's with HHI in the $200-$250k range
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's not HHI if you stay home. It's his income.

The 1950s want you back, great-gramps.


Think you've got the wrong person in the 50s.


For real yet no one seems to see it.

My husband and I project together. He never tells me no.

I guess that Woman's March didn't mean anything. Some of you are still not marriage partners.


You're delusional.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2017 07:46     Subject: Question for fellow SAHM's with HHI in the $200-$250k range
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's not HHI if you stay home. It's his income.


I am a WOHM and the above statement is incorrect, wrong and deliberately cruel. There is plenty of work done by SAHMs, plenty to manage at home, of course this sort of decision should be joint.


The point is that it's not her income. Plain and simple. No one said her contribution isn't valuable. But it's not income.
mmmb
Post 09/08/2017 06:46     Subject: Re:Question for fellow SAHM's with HHI in the $200-$250k range
Could there be a reason for this? Maybe, he hasn’t had time to talk to you?
Anonymous
Post 09/06/2017 16:58     Subject: Re:Question for fellow SAHM's with HHI in the $200-$250k range
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
It's not HHI if you stay home. It's his income.


presumably she works at home. this is labor as well and has value--the idea that she has no power or right over their income because she has chosen to take on unpaid labor as an offset to what otherwise would be a joint expense (childcare and other forms of house work) is sexist and outdated.


I generally agree with this but let's be serious non nanny/housekeeper is making 250 k


If courts thought this way them SAHMs should not be eligible for 50% of net worth. Thank God society and courts put more value on a wife, mom who chooses to stay at home.


Which is why I should have walked as soon as I found out my exDW wasn't planning to work during the marriage.

Attention young men: the first step to her filing for divorce and taking half your possessions is when she quits work. When that happens prepare to exit the marriage.



Hmmm. I quit work 11 years ago, we are still happily married. Your bad choice is your own.
Anonymous
Post 09/06/2017 16:56     Subject: Re:Question for fellow SAHM's with HHI in the $200-$250k range
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
It's not HHI if you stay home. It's his income.


presumably she works at home. this is labor as well and has value--the idea that she has no power or right over their income because she has chosen to take on unpaid labor as an offset to what otherwise would be a joint expense (childcare and other forms of house work) is sexist and outdated.


I generally agree with this but let's be serious non nanny/housekeeper is making 250 k


If courts thought this way them SAHMs should not be eligible for 50% of net worth. Thank God society and courts put more value on a wife, mom who chooses to stay at home.


Which is why I should have walked as soon as I found out my exDW wasn't planning to work during the marriage.

Attention young men: the first step to her filing for divorce and taking half your possessions is when she quits work. When that happens prepare to exit the marriage.
Anonymous
Post 09/06/2017 13:56     Subject: Re:Question for fellow SAHM's with HHI in the $200-$250k range
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
It's not HHI if you stay home. It's his income.


presumably she works at home. this is labor as well and has value--the idea that she has no power or right over their income because she has chosen to take on unpaid labor as an offset to what otherwise would be a joint expense (childcare and other forms of house work) is sexist and outdated.


I work at home too in addition to my full time job.



Yes, while someone else watches your kids. Thats the difference.

Not earning an income does not mean that you are on call 24 hours a day (for me it often does as my husband travels a lot), but when he is home we co parent and co help around the house probably much like you and your husband do.
Anonymous
Post 09/06/2017 13:45     Subject: Re:Question for fellow SAHM's with HHI in the $200-$250k range
Anonymous wrote:
It's not HHI if you stay home. It's his income.


presumably she works at home. this is labor as well and has value--the idea that she has no power or right over their income because she has chosen to take on unpaid labor as an offset to what otherwise would be a joint expense (childcare and other forms of house work) is sexist and outdated.


I work at home too in addition to my full time job.