Be greatfull you shrews

OP, nobody has mentioned this, so I will. When my husband does stuff like this, it's because he didn't know what else to get me. He will try to come up with a gift on his own (oh, she'll want workout clothes!) and become wedded to that idea. So when you tell him that's not what you really want, he can't think of anything else because he's got workout clothes on the brain. So you get workout clothes.

So I just tell him what I want. I give him a couple of options (no list or anything- I just tell him a few weeks before) and let him pick. He loves it and I actually get a gift I can use--win win!

Anonymous wrote:Every single year my husband asks what I want for my birthday, I say 'some jewelry would be nice, just not anything with beads or colored gems.' And every time he gets me beads and colored gems. Then he asks why I don't wear them and I say 'beads and colored gems aren't really my thing, I prefer plain gold or silver.' This has been going on for about 10 years. IMO I think it is subconsciously passive aggressive.

Maybe don't tell him what you don't want, because that sticks out in his head (she said the words "beads" and "colored gems!" Got it. Check).

Tell him "I want a gold chain" or I want some silver hoop earrings. Or show him a picture with a link to exactly what you want. Or three options of things you want.

The "Don't do this" doesn't work. You have to say "I want exactly THIS"

Every single year my husband asks what I want for my birthday, I say 'some jewelry would be nice, just not anything with beads or colored gems.' And every time he gets me beads and colored gems. Then he asks why I don't wear them and I say 'beads and colored gems aren't really my thing, I prefer plain gold or silver.' This has been going on for about 10 years. IMO I think it is subconsciously passive aggressive.

Oh my god he got you WORKOUT CLOTHES. The audacity!!!

Send them my way. Especially if they are lululemon.

Anonymous wrote:He thinks you look hot in them and is hoping to see you in them. I do stuff like this for my wife occasionally too.

My husband does this. Mostly with bras. While I appreciate the sentiment, I wish he would take me somewhere to pick them out together so that I would have a say in the matter. He'll push me to get something a little sexier than I normally would buy, but then I'll be sure to get something that I'll actually wear...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here: I love to see my wife in athleisure wear. She's got a cute figure and she looks great, plus she's comfortable. It's sort of bad form on your husbands part because the gift is mostly for him.

OP: you should make him take you out on a date to a nice dinner and a show or something also. And, don't listen to the people on here who are saying that he's suggesting you work out more. He wouldn't have bought them for you if he didn't think you'd look great. No guy wants to see that hefty bag full of pinecones look - especially on his wife.

LOL OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! What an image! <still recovering>

Wife here. I look cute in athletic wear and my husband loves the way I look in it. I wear yoga pants at home all the time. Most of them are black. I could totally see him surprising me with some cute colorful ones and I would be thrilled. OP, ask yourself why this is such a big deal to you.

Agree with this poster this is not him telling you to work out more.

It's a big deal to her because he bought her something she said she didn't want. Duh!

OP, I hope you buy him a vacuum cleaner for his birthday. Just a little hint that he could do more around the house.

NP here, but I would love a new vacuum cleaner from my wife, it would actually be one of the only things she's ever gotten me that was wanted or at least useful. I've given up on every getting something I want or can actually use as a gift from my wife, she's only done it twice since we got married.

Anonymous wrote:My husband did something similar. I made a big deal about it and now he never buys me any gifts. Ever. Says he won't again. He hands me a card with cash on my bday and Christmas. It's been 4 years... I'm happy he remembers but I regret ever complaining.
Btw- he loves how I look in workout clothes so agree with everyone that your DH may have had a motive. Put them on for him and next year tell him exactly what you want.

I was wondering if this was OP's dh's plan. After she makes a big stink about it, he's off the hook for future gifts.

I guess the only issue here is that it was for your birthday.

I'm assuming you already work out. If not, it's a hint he thinks you need to.

I hope you wouldn't have cared if it was a 'just because' gift that he either thought you would look hot in or thought you'd look better/more up to date in. Like the PP mentioned, sometimes couples help each other update their wardrobes.

So- not enough info on what is bothering you- the birthday thing, the 'u need to work out' thing or the 'you got something I didn't want' thing.

If it were me and I hated them and money weren't an issue, I'd say 'thanks, I'll try them, but that CAN'T have been for my birthday'.

If money were an issue and I hated them I'd say 'I can't let you spend your hard earned money on that because I won't wear them. Let's get something else'.

But that's my relationship with my DH- he'd want me honest and happy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here: I love to see my wife in athleisure wear. She's got a cute figure and she looks great, plus she's comfortable. It's sort of bad form on your husbands part because the gift is mostly for him.

OP: you should make him take you out on a date to a nice dinner and a show or something also. And, don't listen to the people on here who are saying that he's suggesting you work out more. He wouldn't have bought them for you if he didn't think you'd look great. No guy wants to see that hefty bag full of pinecones look - especially on his wife.

LOL OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! What an image! <still recovering>

Wife here. I look cute in athletic wear and my husband loves the way I look in it. I wear yoga pants at home all the time. Most of them are black. I could totally see him surprising me with some cute colorful ones and I would be thrilled. OP, ask yourself why this is such a big deal to you.

Agree with this poster this is not him telling you to work out more.

It's a big deal to her because he bought her something she said she didn't want. Duh!

OP, I hope you buy him a vacuum cleaner for his birthday. Just a little hint that he could do more around the house.

Anonymous wrote:Guy here: I love to see my wife in athleisure wear. She's got a cute figure and she looks great, plus she's comfortable. It's sort of bad form on your husbands part because the gift is mostly for him.

OP: you should make him take you out on a date to a nice dinner and a show or something also. And, don't listen to the people on here who are saying that he's suggesting you work out more. He wouldn't have bought them for you if he didn't think you'd look great. No guy wants to see that hefty bag full of pinecones look - especially on his wife.

LOL OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! What an image! <still recovering>

Wife here. I look cute in athletic wear and my husband loves the way I look in it. I wear yoga pants at home all the time. Most of them are black. I could totally see him surprising me with some cute colorful ones and I would be thrilled. OP, ask yourself why this is such a big deal to you.

Agree with this poster this is not him telling you to work out more.

Wear them to bed and enjoy some good ol birthday sex.

Anonymous wrote:My first thought is that's he's telling you to lose weight

+1. It's a nice way of saying, "You need to exercise."

Guy here: I love to see my wife in athleisure wear. She's got a cute figure and she looks great, plus she's comfortable. It's sort of bad form on your husbands part because the gift is mostly for him.

OP: you should make him take you out on a date to a nice dinner and a show or something also. And, don't listen to the people on here who are saying that he's suggesting you work out more. He wouldn't have bought them for you if he didn't think you'd look great. No guy wants to see that hefty bag full of pinecones look - especially on his wife.

OP, are your current workout clothes ugly? My husband got me some workout tops and pants recently. He said he thought it looked strange that I worked out in old t shirts and sweatpants when most of the women at our gym were in more stylish workout clothes.