Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is why I'm not online dating. I'm thinner than 85% of married moms but I'm single with all of the pressures and stress that come along with that and limited time. Ex h is not in the picture. This post just shows how superficial the dating world (at least online dating) really is. I'm not 25 anymore and don't have time for this nonsense. If I meet someone in a traditional way, so be it.
What it really shows is how judgmental other women are towards women, because most of the negative posters here are women (probably unhappily married to boot). It's not all roses in the dating world, but I'm one the of the PPs who did date successfully and it really wasn't that hard. I'd much rather date online than put myself up for judgment on DCUM.
I suspect the overall demographic of posters to the Relationship forum skews heavily toward women, so just because more of the negative posters are women doesn't mean that men aren't as negative, they're just not writing about it as much.
Even if what you're saying is true, the point of online dating is not to appeal to the masses. It takes finding the ones (even if they are just a few) who like you as you are. They're out there.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Of course my profile pic does not show the extra weight. I am afraid of being rejected on first glance!
So you'd rather string someone alone and then be rejected not on first glance but upon deeper inspection?!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is why I'm not online dating. I'm thinner than 85% of married moms but I'm single with all of the pressures and stress that come along with that and limited time. Ex h is not in the picture. This post just shows how superficial the dating world (at least online dating) really is. I'm not 25 anymore and don't have time for this nonsense. If I meet someone in a traditional way, so be it.
What it really shows is how judgmental other women are towards women, because most of the negative posters here are women (probably unhappily married to boot). It's not all roses in the dating world, but I'm one the of the PPs who did date successfully and it really wasn't that hard. I'd much rather date online than put myself up for judgment on DCUM.
I suspect the overall demographic of posters to the Relationship forum skews heavily toward women, so just because more of the negative posters are women doesn't mean that men aren't as negative, they're just not writing about it as much.
Anonymous wrote:Of course my profile pic does not show the extra weight. I am afraid of being rejected on first glance!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is why I'm not online dating. I'm thinner than 85% of married moms but I'm single with all of the pressures and stress that come along with that and limited time. Ex h is not in the picture. This post just shows how superficial the dating world (at least online dating) really is. I'm not 25 anymore and don't have time for this nonsense. If I meet someone in a traditional way, so be it.
What it really shows is how judgmental other women are towards women, because most of the negative posters here are women (probably unhappily married to boot). It's not all roses in the dating world, but I'm one the of the PPs who did date successfully and it really wasn't that hard. I'd much rather date online than put myself up for judgment on DCUM.
Anonymous wrote:This is why I'm not online dating. I'm thinner than 85% of married moms but I'm single with all of the pressures and stress that come along with that and limited time. Ex h is not in the picture. This post just shows how superficial the dating world (at least online dating) really is. I'm not 25 anymore and don't have time for this nonsense. If I meet someone in a traditional way, so be it.
Anonymous wrote:Threads like this make me think of a blog post I once read about a woman who was really fit and had a good body, but had lost a significant amount of weight to get there and had to work hard to maintain it. She wrote about what it was like to date, because these guys loved how fit she was, but wanted to pretend that the reality of maintaining it didn't exist. They didn't want her getting up early on a Saturday to go to spin class and then have a low-calorie, high-protein breakfast at home, they wanted her to sleep in and then go out for french toast for brunch, never mind that she couldn't maintain the body if she went along with that lifestyle. It sounded miserable to me.
I guess what this gets at is, OP, be who you are and who you want to be. If you want to lose weight and get in shape for yourself, do it regardless of dating and let dating fit that lifestyle you want for yourself. If you're content where you are right now, don't make changes just for dating. Present your honest self, and then find people who like and respect that honest self. It's so much easier and enjoyable.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Whether you like it or not, a LOT of people are overweight, including in the dating world...
No shit? Who knew. I never wrote anything about what people deserve or don't deserve. I never wrote "disgusting ". That's you. But reality is, people do skip the obese ones online.
And give up thinking in terms of "deserve". You don't get what you deserve in life. You get what you make happen. Make something happen by taking specific steps.
I didn't say that some people don't skip over overweight folks. I'm correcting your categorical statements, though, because they're simply untrue. "Deserve" is different from entitlement, and I agree it takes specific steps. But the steps are different for everyone, and I wouldn't agree that the specific steps MUST include weight loss in order to find and have a fulfilling relationship with a quality person.
Anonymous wrote:Whether you like it or not, a LOT of people are overweight, including in the dating world...
No shit? Who knew. I never wrote anything about what people deserve or don't deserve. I never wrote "disgusting ". That's you. But reality is, people do skip the obese ones online.
And give up thinking in terms of "deserve". You don't get what you deserve in life. You get what you make happen. Make something happen by taking specific steps.
Anonymous wrote:Usually the very FIRST thing women do when they leave their husbands is drop a bunch of weight and get tightened up.
They wouldn't go to the gym for their husbands, but they'll get in shape so complete strangers will try and bang them.
But you didn't do this... So that speaks to your character. I'm sorry you find yourself in this predicament. But I strongly caution you not to feel bad about it. If some guy is put off because you think you're 30lbs overweight, then that guy is an a-hole anyway. Really.
If you WANT to lose weight, then go ahead and do it. But DON'T do it just so you can meet a bunch of jerks.
Good luck.
Whether you like it or not, a LOT of people are overweight, including in the dating world...