Anonymous
Post 07/20/2017 23:50     Subject: Need to forget about someone- how? Need help.
What got me through a similar situation was blocking him calling and texting me - no contact, similar to if he died. Saving his awful emails and texts and rereading them as a reminder of what a jerk he is whenever I got the urge to contact him. Took some time but now I am completely cured of the sickness.
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2017 10:18     Subject: Re:Need to forget about someone- how? Need help.
Anonymous wrote:Anyone have a good book rec on getting over a narcissist?


Love Types or Bad Boyfriends by Jeb Kinnison.

Anonymous
Post 07/20/2017 09:59     Subject: Re:Need to forget about someone- how? Need help.
Anyone have a good book rec on getting over a narcissist?
Anonymous
Post 07/20/2017 04:56     Subject: Need to forget about someone- how? Need help.
5 Ways to Move on When You Still Love Your Ex:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-forward/201508/5-ways-move-when-you-still-love-your-ex
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 22:49     Subject: Re:Need to forget about someone- how? Need help.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
My "ex" is a beautiful coworker (still works down the hall from me). It was a torrid EA that went on for a year. I got addicted to what I call the emotional slot machine. Sometimes when we interacted, the lights would flash and the bells would ring, and total validation would come spilling out of that beautiful machine ("We'd be so perfect together."). Other times, the machine would unemotionally take my token ("It's inappropriate for you to think of me that way"). It took me a while to diagnose her with textbook Narcissist Personality Disorder, which has a predictable hot/cold pattern of control. NPDs get Narcissistic "supply" at both ends of the manipulation: first in the power of attracting you, over and over (positive fuel), and when that gets stale (or they're disappointed in your obvious weakness), then a rush of power by seeing the emotional havoc they're able to wreak in their sudden 180 (negative fuel). It's not hard to feel contempt for someone who takes pleasure in causing you pain, especially when you recognize that all the positive affirmations are just set-ups for the inevitable, crushing discard phase.



WOw. OP here. This gives me chills it is so accurate.


NP- I'm involved with some just like this!!!
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 22:48     Subject: Re:Need to forget about someone- how? Need help.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
My "ex" is a beautiful coworker (still works down the hall from me). It was a torrid EA that went on for a year. I got addicted to what I call the emotional slot machine. Sometimes when we interacted, the lights would flash and the bells would ring, and total validation would come spilling out of that beautiful machine ("We'd be so perfect together."). Other times, the machine would unemotionally take my token ("It's inappropriate for you to think of me that way"). It took me a while to diagnose her with textbook Narcissist Personality Disorder, which has a predictable hot/cold pattern of control. NPDs get Narcissistic "supply" at both ends of the manipulation: first in the power of attracting you, over and over (positive fuel), and when that gets stale (or they're disappointed in your obvious weakness), then a rush of power by seeing the emotional havoc they're able to wreak in their sudden 180 (negative fuel). It's not hard to feel contempt for someone who takes pleasure in causing you pain, especially when you recognize that all the positive affirmations are just set-ups for the inevitable, crushing discard phase.



WOw. OP here. This gives me chills it is so accurate.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 11:49     Subject: Re:Need to forget about someone- how? Need help.
Anonymous wrote:
My "ex" is a beautiful coworker (still works down the hall from me). It was a torrid EA that went on for a year. I got addicted to what I call the emotional slot machine. Sometimes when we interacted, the lights would flash and the bells would ring, and total validation would come spilling out of that beautiful machine ("We'd be so perfect together."). Other times, the machine would unemotionally take my token ("It's inappropriate for you to think of me that way"). It took me a while to diagnose her with textbook Narcissist Personality Disorder, which has a predictable hot/cold pattern of control. NPDs get Narcissistic "supply" at both ends of the manipulation: first in the power of attracting you, over and over (positive fuel), and when that gets stale (or they're disappointed in your obvious weakness), then a rush of power by seeing the emotional havoc they're able to wreak in their sudden 180 (negative fuel). It's not hard to feel contempt for someone who takes pleasure in causing you pain, especially when you recognize that all the positive affirmations are just set-ups for the inevitable, crushing discard phase.



WOw. OP here. This gives me chills it is so accurate.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 11:30     Subject: Need to forget about someone- how? Need help.
Workout and listen to angry music while doing it.

Sleep with someone new.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 10:45     Subject: Re:Need to forget about someone- how? Need help.
Anonymous wrote:
My "ex" is a beautiful coworker (still works down the hall from me). It was a torrid EA that went on for a year. I got addicted to what I call the emotional slot machine. Sometimes when we interacted, the lights would flash and the bells would ring, and total validation would come spilling out of that beautiful machine ("We'd be so perfect together."). Other times, the machine would unemotionally take my token ("It's inappropriate for you to think of me that way"). It took me a while to diagnose her with textbook Narcissist Personality Disorder, which has a predictable hot/cold pattern of control. NPDs get Narcissistic "supply" at both ends of the manipulation: first in the power of attracting you, over and over (positive fuel), and when that gets stale (or they're disappointed in your obvious weakness), then a rush of power by seeing the emotional havoc they're able to wreak in their sudden 180 (negative fuel). It's not hard to feel contempt for someone who takes pleasure in causing you pain, especially when you recognize that all the positive affirmations are just set-ups for the inevitable, crushing discard phase.

Not OP, but this describes perfectly the situation I was in 5 years ago. I am so happy to be over the emotional hold it had over me.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 10:35     Subject: Re:Need to forget about someone- how? Need help.
OP are you married, or is he?
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 10:25     Subject: Re:Need to forget about someone- how? Need help.
Anonymous wrote:
My "ex" is a beautiful coworker (still works down the hall from me). It was a torrid EA that went on for a year. I got addicted to what I call the emotional slot machine. Sometimes when we interacted, the lights would flash and the bells would ring, and total validation would come spilling out of that beautiful machine ("We'd be so perfect together."). Other times, the machine would unemotionally take my token ("It's inappropriate for you to think of me that way"). It took me a while to diagnose her with textbook Narcissist Personality Disorder, which has a predictable hot/cold pattern of control. NPDs get Narcissistic "supply" at both ends of the manipulation: first in the power of attracting you, over and over (positive fuel), and when that gets stale (or they're disappointed in your obvious weakness), then a rush of power by seeing the emotional havoc they're able to wreak in their sudden 180 (negative fuel). It's not hard to feel contempt for someone who takes pleasure in causing you pain, especially when you recognize that all the positive affirmations are just set-ups for the inevitable, crushing discard phase.



Quite a story!

So this discard phase - did she just abruptly end it? Or fade you out? How do you feel about seeing her now?

Either of you married?

Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 09:24     Subject: Need to forget about someone- how? Need help.
Anonymous wrote:Ah, the folly of youth Under someone else, immediately, OP!


Op here. I wish- I'm mid 30s. This was no spring break romance at the local pool. It was complicated, messy, and addictive.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 08:06     Subject: Need to forget about someone- how? Need help.
You can't. You will forget with time. The only advice I can give is to occupy yourself with many activities. Time will heal you. Good luck.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 08:03     Subject: Re:Need to forget about someone- how? Need help.

My "ex" is a beautiful coworker (still works down the hall from me). It was a torrid EA that went on for a year. I got addicted to what I call the emotional slot machine. Sometimes when we interacted, the lights would flash and the bells would ring, and total validation would come spilling out of that beautiful machine ("We'd be so perfect together."). Other times, the machine would unemotionally take my token ("It's inappropriate for you to think of me that way"). It took me a while to diagnose her with textbook Narcissist Personality Disorder, which has a predictable hot/cold pattern of control. NPDs get Narcissistic "supply" at both ends of the manipulation: first in the power of attracting you, over and over (positive fuel), and when that gets stale (or they're disappointed in your obvious weakness), then a rush of power by seeing the emotional havoc they're able to wreak in their sudden 180 (negative fuel). It's not hard to feel contempt for someone who takes pleasure in causing you pain, especially when you recognize that all the positive affirmations are just set-ups for the inevitable, crushing discard phase.

Anonymous
Post 07/19/2017 07:50     Subject: Need to forget about someone- how? Need help.
Ah, the folly of youth Under someone else, immediately, OP!