Anonymous
Post 07/11/2017 14:57     Subject: Grandma unhappy with kids summer schedule
Maybe next year, in late winter when you're looking at camps, call your mom and say hey, I'm getting ready to sign the kids up for summer camp. They'll be really busy. Is there a week or two during the summer you want to take them for the entire week? If not, they'll be available for you to visit with in the afternoons or on XYZ dates that camp isn't in session. Then she gets first right of refusal and has no room to complain.
Anonymous
Post 07/11/2017 14:57     Subject: Grandma unhappy with kids summer schedule
Anonymous wrote:Do your kids even want to spend that much time at Grandma's?

Op: No, I don't think they be happy to miss camp, and I know they wouldn't want to miss their extracurricular activities. Play dates trump everything always lol. This is why we plan weekends and dinners. The kids like going to see their grandparents, but they never specifically request it.
Anonymous
Post 07/11/2017 14:38     Subject: Grandma unhappy with kids summer schedule
Do your kids even want to spend that much time at Grandma's?
Anonymous
Post 07/11/2017 13:55     Subject: Grandma unhappy with kids summer schedule
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Well, what does Grandma's custody order state?

Oh, right, she doesn't have one.



I just don't understand why it's so hard to just be kind to their grandmother. Yeah, maybe she's annoying but why does it always have to be so me, me, me, I do t have to consider anyone, I do what I want, her opinion doesn't matter? Why can't people just be kind without keeping score?


Um, that's EXACTLY what Grandma is doing. Me me me me me. OP makes sure the kids see grandma. But that's not good enough for Grandma, and she was unfettered access when she wants it on her schedule with no consideration for what OP or her children have going on. So, again, who is the "me, me, me, I do t have to consider anyone, I do what I want" person in this story?

Sorry, I've just watched this play out in both my family and DH's family this summer (not with our kid, because she's still a baby). It's frustrating. Lots of "me me me, why won't everyone change their schedules for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I'm the Grandma!"

This!!!
Anonymous
Post 07/11/2017 13:41     Subject: Grandma unhappy with kids summer schedule
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Well, what does Grandma's custody order state?

Oh, right, she doesn't have one.



I just don't understand why it's so hard to just be kind to their grandmother. Yeah, maybe she's annoying but why does it always have to be so me, me, me, I do t have to consider anyone, I do what I want, her opinion doesn't matter? Why can't people just be kind without keeping score?


Um, that's EXACTLY what Grandma is doing. Me me me me me. OP makes sure the kids see grandma. But that's not good enough for Grandma, and she was unfettered access when she wants it on her schedule with no consideration for what OP or her children have going on. So, again, who is the "me, me, me, I do t have to consider anyone, I do what I want" person in this story?

Sorry, I've just watched this play out in both my family and DH's family this summer (not with our kid, because she's still a baby). It's frustrating. Lots of "me me me, why won't everyone change their schedules for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I'm the Grandma!"
Anonymous
Post 07/11/2017 13:41     Subject: Grandma unhappy with kids summer schedule
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DCUM is hilarious.

If the question were "my daughter is mad I don't make time for the grandkids, because I play mixed doubles, golf, and league bowling, and my daughter wants me to quit one activity", DCUMers would tell her to tell her daughter to suck brick.

Here we have people telling mom she needs to consult all activities with grandparents first! I can't.


Yeah. It's been a bit loopier than normal recently in a lot of forums. But this one takes the cake.


It's like people don't even read the posts. They just have an opinion they are dying to express.


Agreed. Kind of like the whole of the internet these days.
Anonymous
Post 07/11/2017 13:28     Subject: Grandma unhappy with kids summer schedule
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DCUM is hilarious.

If the question were "my daughter is mad I don't make time for the grandkids, because I play mixed doubles, golf, and league bowling, and my daughter wants me to quit one activity", DCUMers would tell her to tell her daughter to suck brick.

Here we have people telling mom she needs to consult all activities with grandparents first! I can't.


Yeah. It's been a bit loopier than normal recently in a lot of forums. But this one takes the cake.


It's like people don't even read the posts. They just have an opinion they are dying to express.
Anonymous
Post 07/11/2017 13:26     Subject: Re:Grandma unhappy with kids summer schedule
Anonymous wrote:I would have no issue with my parents pulling the kids out of camp for a random day here and there. I'd be sure it wasn't a special field trip day or another special camp day. But in the grand scheme of things, kids will have endless days of camp over the course of their childhoods. Memories of fun outings with grandparents will last a lifetime.


This. Time with grandparents is more important than camps because the time with grandparents is limited. OP has parents who really want to be engaged with their grandkids and I think OP made a mistake not considering that when planning the children's schedules for the summer. OP is lucky that her grandchildren have a grandma who wants to be involved and seeing the kids, and OP should see that as a blessing not a curse.
Anonymous
Post 07/11/2017 13:21     Subject: Grandma unhappy with kids summer schedule
Anonymous wrote:
You are in the wrong, OP.

The mistake is not communicating with your mother about summer plans before you signed them up for camps and activities.

You can remedy this now, and nix some playdates so that they can see their Grandmother if she doesn't live too far away.
If these are the low-intensity camps, you can even declare a couple of days in July and August "playing hooky" and have your kids spend the whole day at Grandma's! Not so much if the kids are in targeted one week camps with a performance at the end.

Have you been on a vacation with the grandparents? You could all go somewhere for one week.

In short, this is a planning error on your part, with the underlying issue that you didn't prioritize Grandma time. She won't be around for very long, you know.


+1000
Anonymous
Post 07/11/2017 12:52     Subject: Grandma unhappy with kids summer schedule
Anonymous wrote:DCUM is hilarious.

If the question were "my daughter is mad I don't make time for the grandkids, because I play mixed doubles, golf, and league bowling, and my daughter wants me to quit one activity", DCUMers would tell her to tell her daughter to suck brick.

Here we have people telling mom she needs to consult all activities with grandparents first! I can't.


Yeah. It's been a bit loopier than normal recently in a lot of forums. But this one takes the cake.
Anonymous
Post 07/11/2017 12:51     Subject: Grandma unhappy with kids summer schedule
Anonymous wrote:DCUM is hilarious.

If the question were "my daughter is mad I don't make time for the grandkids, because I play mixed doubles, golf, and league bowling, and my daughter wants me to quit one activity", DCUMers would tell her to tell her daughter to suck brick.

Here we have people telling mom she needs to consult all activities with grandparents first! I can't.


Yeah. It's been a bit loopier than normal recently in a lot of forums. But this one takes the cake.
Anonymous
Post 07/11/2017 12:47     Subject: Grandma unhappy with kids summer schedule
Maybe just nail this conversation down for next year. Give her a week or two, full time ("Camp Grandma"), one weekend a month, and then maybe once a week they can stay at her house after camp ("Tuesday nights with Grandma"). That situation would be ideal for me, lol!

With the understanding that at some point, kids change. You start understanding your parents, and their parents. I was one of those that really preferred my own mom to either grandmother once I got old enough. I stopped wanting to do camp grandma by age 12 or so. And I'm glad that my parents didn't force me just to make grandma happy.
Anonymous
Post 07/11/2017 12:32     Subject: Grandma unhappy with kids summer schedule
DCUM is hilarious.

If the question were "my daughter is mad I don't make time for the grandkids, because I play mixed doubles, golf, and league bowling, and my daughter wants me to quit one activity", DCUMers would tell her to tell her daughter to suck brick.

Here we have people telling mom she needs to consult all activities with grandparents first! I can't.
Anonymous
Post 07/11/2017 12:26     Subject: Grandma unhappy with kids summer schedule
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm sorry I asked lol Grandma isn't happy because after camp "isn't enough time" for her to plan something fun. And "they'd be tired". Basically, yes. She's whining.

Kids aren't overscheduled, they just like camp (thankfully, because they are going!) and they like their chosen activities. When they come home from camp, they love making calls and finding out who is playing where. It's summer! They are out having fun! (They are both old enough to get on bikes and cruise the neighborhood like we did when we were young.) And like I said, I DO make ample time for grandparents, I think. I believe a weekend a month and a couple days sprinkled in between us plenty fair.


Grandma sounds like a pill. I think it's time you ignore her. If pressed, you point out that summer vacation is about the kids, not about her.


So have her have the kids all week, and do the morning dropoff to camp, and the afternoon pickup after camp, and have them spend the night with her. Easier for you, more grandma time, kids still go to camp, everyone is happy. Done.
Anonymous
Post 07/11/2017 12:25     Subject: Re:Grandma unhappy with kids summer schedule
Anonymous wrote:I would have no issue with my parents pulling the kids out of camp for a random day here and there. I'd be sure it wasn't a special field trip day or another special camp day. But in the grand scheme of things, kids will have endless days of camp over the course of their childhoods. Memories of fun outings with grandparents will last a lifetime.


Agreed. Both sets of grandparents can come take my kids whenever they want. Whatever summer activity we have planned isn't as important. I wish we lived closer so they could have them more often.