Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take it to court but the judge will probably just tell her to send the kids and no consequences when she does not or at least that was our experience. Judge ordered her to pay a higher cost of the plane tickets but she never paid anything. All they care is if you are paying child support. Take it to court once and then give up, sad to say, but she isn't going to budge and there are only a few rare judges who will hold up father's rights and the reality of you getting a good and reasonable judge is slim. Mom will come up with all kinds of accusations against you and despite not being able to prove them, nothing will change.

My husband gave up when his youngest was 14. He cut them off when that child was 18 financially and moved on. We hear from them or his ex on a rare occasion. Sadly, my husband would prefer not to hear from them after how they treated him.

How they treated him? The kids were just victims of their mother. Can you blame them for giving up? After all it's what they learned from dear old dad. Men go after what they want relentlessly. Your husband simply wasn't that interested in being a father to them.

I don't know how you can stand to be involved with someone who just gave up on his kids.

I watched my brother go through this and it was torturous. He remarried and had two kids but his emotional resources, his financial resources, his energy was tied up in trying to fight the fight to keep contact with his 2 kids form his first marriage. His second marriage and kids got a worn out, beat down dad. When his first two were 12 and 14, mom dropped them off at his house and walked away. He finally had his kids but he was a broken man. The sleepless nights, the emotional trauma of the alienation and accusations, the legal fight, the money wasted and financial devastation, the years of turmoil and pain took a terrible toll. Then he had two angry teens who had been taught to hate him who now also had a stepmother and 2 siblings. Their home life became a nightmare, step mother kept threatening to take their kids and leave, my brother wondered why he had fought so hard for so long to end up with a life of chaos, a crumbling marriage and 4 kids who were mad at dad.

Men have feelings too. They have limits to what they can handle, they need to be able to protect themselves in some ways to be able to function and live their lives.

Thanks for posting this. So sorry for your brother's struggles. I hope he perseveres.

Today's daily reminder as to why I am Catholic. Just another anecdote about the wrecked families of our declining civilization. And every generation it is going to get worse until we affirmatively work to change our ways. How are those kids going to be able model stable relationships for their kids given all they went through as well??

Anonymous wrote:Some of these replies - unbelievable.

She doesn't have the right to do what she did. Take her back to court. Sue for custody if you can.

But don't involve the kids, this is between you and their mom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take it to court but the judge will probably just tell her to send the kids and no consequences when she does not or at least that was our experience. Judge ordered her to pay a higher cost of the plane tickets but she never paid anything. All they care is if you are paying child support. Take it to court once and then give up, sad to say, but she isn't going to budge and there are only a few rare judges who will hold up father's rights and the reality of you getting a good and reasonable judge is slim. Mom will come up with all kinds of accusations against you and despite not being able to prove them, nothing will change.

My husband gave up when his youngest was 14. He cut them off when that child was 18 financially and moved on. We hear from them or his ex on a rare occasion. Sadly, my husband would prefer not to hear from them after how they treated him.

How they treated him? The kids were just victims of their mother. Can you blame them for giving up? After all it's what they learned from dear old dad. Men go after what they want relentlessly. Your husband simply wasn't that interested in being a father to them.

I don't know how you can stand to be involved with someone who just gave up on his kids.

After multiple expensive court battles where judge gave visitation and mom refused it and judge did nothing, what is someone supposed to do? Oldest two were over 18, youngest was 14 at the time. They only contacted him for money beyond child support which they claimed mom never received each month (which was a lie). If the courts will not uphold the orders or change custody, then what do you do when you call every day and no one answers the phone, when you fly out cross country to get your kids after mom does not put them on the plane and mom refuses and cops refuse to get involved. So, you spend more money going to court on attorneys and air fare multiple times and nothing changes. Yes, at some point you give up, especially after 8 years of the crap. They are a victim but there is no excuse for them to scream and yell at their Dad and make accusations that never happened, especially when mom was the abusive one and had two kids who were not hers removed from her care. So, yes, when they call us demanding money as adults, you do give up and say no. When you ask them to disclose what scholarships and loans and grades in order to get financial help from Dad and they refuse demanding a check for thousands, yes, you say no and stop the back and forth. When they refuse to visit and yet demand plane tickets (that they choose to use for something else as they are adults and in their name), yes, you stop buying them (or what we have done is say pay them and we'll reimburse you when you are here)...... yes, at some point after so many years you do stop being interested. He was a very active father till she cheated on him, moved the kids cross country and refused contact. How can he be an active father if he is denied contact and the courts are a joke?

Clearly you are a mom who took the kids and played games so you can then complain about the deadbeat uninterested Dad.

His ex-wife did me a huge favor. I got a great husband and father for my kids out of the deal. I think she knows it too as she emails regularly and is annoyed at how well he/we are doing which he never could have achieved with her... if she only knew now how much he made.

No sweetheart I'm the wife of a man whose father just threw him away because it was easier. As for his now adult kids you reap what you sow. How do you thnk they'll turn out when you abandon them to an abusive parent?

Great father? Denial is strong with you. Just don't get divorced.

This is obviously the same bitter poster that is posting all the other negative diatribes. She has her husband's experience, and somehow thinks that she can now stand on her soap box and talk about every other situation like it's the same. Small minded and bitter. Not a good combination.

I think that for others who actually have the ability to think, we see a much larger problem, which is very prevalent in our society. Fathers' rights are not equal to mothers' rights. It's a legal system that needs to change. That is really the issue and should be the topic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take it to court but the judge will probably just tell her to send the kids and no consequences when she does not or at least that was our experience. Judge ordered her to pay a higher cost of the plane tickets but she never paid anything. All they care is if you are paying child support. Take it to court once and then give up, sad to say, but she isn't going to budge and there are only a few rare judges who will hold up father's rights and the reality of you getting a good and reasonable judge is slim. Mom will come up with all kinds of accusations against you and despite not being able to prove them, nothing will change.

My husband gave up when his youngest was 14. He cut them off when that child was 18 financially and moved on. We hear from them or his ex on a rare occasion. Sadly, my husband would prefer not to hear from them after how they treated him.

How they treated him? The kids were just victims of their mother. Can you blame them for giving up? After all it's what they learned from dear old dad. Men go after what they want relentlessly. Your husband simply wasn't that interested in being a father to them.

I don't know how you can stand to be involved with someone who just gave up on his kids.

I watched my brother go through this and it was torturous. He remarried and had two kids but his emotional resources, his financial resources, his energy was tied up in trying to fight the fight to keep contact with his 2 kids form his first marriage. His second marriage and kids got a worn out, beat down dad. When his first two were 12 and 14, mom dropped them off at his house and walked away. He finally had his kids but he was a broken man. The sleepless nights, the emotional trauma of the alienation and accusations, the legal fight, the money wasted and financial devastation, the years of turmoil and pain took a terrible toll. Then he had two angry teens who had been taught to hate him who now also had a stepmother and 2 siblings. Their home life became a nightmare, step mother kept threatening to take their kids and leave, my brother wondered why he had fought so hard for so long to end up with a life of chaos, a crumbling marriage and 4 kids who were mad at dad.

Men have feelings too. They have limits to what they can handle, they need to be able to protect themselves in some ways to be able to function and live their lives.

Ya know what I have done since my divorce? Taken care of the two kids I *already* have. Not really dated. Not gotten remarried. Not moved some unrelated adult into my children's home. Not brought more kids into the picture.

Your brother made his own bed. Should have had a vasectomy after the first divorce. And I'd say the same of a woman.

LOL. Bitter single mom on her soap box.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take it to court but the judge will probably just tell her to send the kids and no consequences when she does not or at least that was our experience. Judge ordered her to pay a higher cost of the plane tickets but she never paid anything. All they care is if you are paying child support. Take it to court once and then give up, sad to say, but she isn't going to budge and there are only a few rare judges who will hold up father's rights and the reality of you getting a good and reasonable judge is slim. Mom will come up with all kinds of accusations against you and despite not being able to prove them, nothing will change.

My husband gave up when his youngest was 14. He cut them off when that child was 18 financially and moved on. We hear from them or his ex on a rare occasion. Sadly, my husband would prefer not to hear from them after how they treated him.

How they treated him? The kids were just victims of their mother. Can you blame them for giving up? After all it's what they learned from dear old dad. Men go after what they want relentlessly. Your husband simply wasn't that interested in being a father to them.

I don't know how you can stand to be involved with someone who just gave up on his kids.

I watched my brother go through this and it was torturous. He remarried and had two kids but his emotional resources, his financial resources, his energy was tied up in trying to fight the fight to keep contact with his 2 kids form his first marriage. His second marriage and kids got a worn out, beat down dad. When his first two were 12 and 14, mom dropped them off at his house and walked away. He finally had his kids but he was a broken man. The sleepless nights, the emotional trauma of the alienation and accusations, the legal fight, the money wasted and financial devastation, the years of turmoil and pain took a terrible toll. Then he had two angry teens who had been taught to hate him who now also had a stepmother and 2 siblings. Their home life became a nightmare, step mother kept threatening to take their kids and leave, my brother wondered why he had fought so hard for so long to end up with a life of chaos, a crumbling marriage and 4 kids who were mad at dad.

Men have feelings too. They have limits to what they can handle, they need to be able to protect themselves in some ways to be able to function and live their lives.

Thanks for posting this. So sorry for your brother's struggles. I hope he perseveres.

Today's daily reminder as to why I am Catholic. Just another anecdote about the wrecked families of our declining civilization. And every generation it is going to get worse until we affirmatively work to change our ways. How are those kids going to be able model stable relationships for their kids given all they went through as well??

What does being Catholic have to do with anything? Most people I know use religion to justify the terrible things they do to others.

Only major Christian denomination to not accept divorce. (To be more precise, legal separation and divorce are permitted if necessary but remarriage is not. And yes there are annulments and some people ignore the teachings but most practicing Catholics take it seriously and the culture is clear).

Can't speak to the people you know. That hasn't been my experience. Maybe you should try to make an effort to meet people with more integrity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take it to court but the judge will probably just tell her to send the kids and no consequences when she does not or at least that was our experience. Judge ordered her to pay a higher cost of the plane tickets but she never paid anything. All they care is if you are paying child support. Take it to court once and then give up, sad to say, but she isn't going to budge and there are only a few rare judges who will hold up father's rights and the reality of you getting a good and reasonable judge is slim. Mom will come up with all kinds of accusations against you and despite not being able to prove them, nothing will change.

My husband gave up when his youngest was 14. He cut them off when that child was 18 financially and moved on. We hear from them or his ex on a rare occasion. Sadly, my husband would prefer not to hear from them after how they treated him.

How they treated him? The kids were just victims of their mother. Can you blame them for giving up? After all it's what they learned from dear old dad. Men go after what they want relentlessly. Your husband simply wasn't that interested in being a father to them.

I don't know how you can stand to be involved with someone who just gave up on his kids.

I watched my brother go through this and it was torturous. He remarried and had two kids but his emotional resources, his financial resources, his energy was tied up in trying to fight the fight to keep contact with his 2 kids form his first marriage. His second marriage and kids got a worn out, beat down dad. When his first two were 12 and 14, mom dropped them off at his house and walked away. He finally had his kids but he was a broken man. The sleepless nights, the emotional trauma of the alienation and accusations, the legal fight, the money wasted and financial devastation, the years of turmoil and pain took a terrible toll. Then he had two angry teens who had been taught to hate him who now also had a stepmother and 2 siblings. Their home life became a nightmare, step mother kept threatening to take their kids and leave, my brother wondered why he had fought so hard for so long to end up with a life of chaos, a crumbling marriage and 4 kids who were mad at dad.

Men have feelings too. They have limits to what they can handle, they need to be able to protect themselves in some ways to be able to function and live their lives.

Ya know what I have done since my divorce? Taken care of the two kids I *already* have. Not really dated. Not gotten remarried. Not moved some unrelated adult into my children's home. Not brought more kids into the picture.

Your brother made his own bed. Should have had a vasectomy after the first divorce. And I'd say the same of a woman.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take it to court but the judge will probably just tell her to send the kids and no consequences when she does not or at least that was our experience. Judge ordered her to pay a higher cost of the plane tickets but she never paid anything. All they care is if you are paying child support. Take it to court once and then give up, sad to say, but she isn't going to budge and there are only a few rare judges who will hold up father's rights and the reality of you getting a good and reasonable judge is slim. Mom will come up with all kinds of accusations against you and despite not being able to prove them, nothing will change.

My husband gave up when his youngest was 14. He cut them off when that child was 18 financially and moved on. We hear from them or his ex on a rare occasion. Sadly, my husband would prefer not to hear from them after how they treated him.

How they treated him? The kids were just victims of their mother. Can you blame them for giving up? After all it's what they learned from dear old dad. Men go after what they want relentlessly. Your husband simply wasn't that interested in being a father to them.

I don't know how you can stand to be involved with someone who just gave up on his kids.

After multiple expensive court battles where judge gave visitation and mom refused it and judge did nothing, what is someone supposed to do? Oldest two were over 18, youngest was 14 at the time. They only contacted him for money beyond child support which they claimed mom never received each month (which was a lie). If the courts will not uphold the orders or change custody, then what do you do when you call every day and no one answers the phone, when you fly out cross country to get your kids after mom does not put them on the plane and mom refuses and cops refuse to get involved. So, you spend more money going to court on attorneys and air fare multiple times and nothing changes. Yes, at some point you give up, especially after 8 years of the crap. They are a victim but there is no excuse for them to scream and yell at their Dad and make accusations that never happened, especially when mom was the abusive one and had two kids who were not hers removed from her care. So, yes, when they call us demanding money as adults, you do give up and say no. When you ask them to disclose what scholarships and loans and grades in order to get financial help from Dad and they refuse demanding a check for thousands, yes, you say no and stop the back and forth. When they refuse to visit and yet demand plane tickets (that they choose to use for something else as they are adults and in their name), yes, you stop buying them (or what we have done is say pay them and we'll reimburse you when you are here)...... yes, at some point after so many years you do stop being interested. He was a very active father till she cheated on him, moved the kids cross country and refused contact. How can he be an active father if he is denied contact and the courts are a joke?

Clearly you are a mom who took the kids and played games so you can then complain about the deadbeat uninterested Dad.

His ex-wife did me a huge favor. I got a great husband and father for my kids out of the deal. I think she knows it too as she emails regularly and is annoyed at how well he/we are doing which he never could have achieved with her... if she only knew now how much he made.

No sweetheart I'm the wife of a man whose father just threw him away because it was easier. As for his now adult kids you reap what you sow. How do you thnk they'll turn out when you abandon them to an abusive parent?

Great father? Denial is strong with you. Just don't get divorced.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take it to court but the judge will probably just tell her to send the kids and no consequences when she does not or at least that was our experience. Judge ordered her to pay a higher cost of the plane tickets but she never paid anything. All they care is if you are paying child support. Take it to court once and then give up, sad to say, but she isn't going to budge and there are only a few rare judges who will hold up father's rights and the reality of you getting a good and reasonable judge is slim. Mom will come up with all kinds of accusations against you and despite not being able to prove them, nothing will change.

My husband gave up when his youngest was 14. He cut them off when that child was 18 financially and moved on. We hear from them or his ex on a rare occasion. Sadly, my husband would prefer not to hear from them after how they treated him.

How they treated him? The kids were just victims of their mother. Can you blame them for giving up? After all it's what they learned from dear old dad. Men go after what they want relentlessly. Your husband simply wasn't that interested in being a father to them.

I don't know how you can stand to be involved with someone who just gave up on his kids.

I watched my brother go through this and it was torturous. He remarried and had two kids but his emotional resources, his financial resources, his energy was tied up in trying to fight the fight to keep contact with his 2 kids form his first marriage. His second marriage and kids got a worn out, beat down dad. When his first two were 12 and 14, mom dropped them off at his house and walked away. He finally had his kids but he was a broken man. The sleepless nights, the emotional trauma of the alienation and accusations, the legal fight, the money wasted and financial devastation, the years of turmoil and pain took a terrible toll. Then he had two angry teens who had been taught to hate him who now also had a stepmother and 2 siblings. Their home life became a nightmare, step mother kept threatening to take their kids and leave, my brother wondered why he had fought so hard for so long to end up with a life of chaos, a crumbling marriage and 4 kids who were mad at dad.

Men have feelings too. They have limits to what they can handle, they need to be able to protect themselves in some ways to be able to function and live their lives.

And?

He chose to have kids and be a dad that doesn't end because it's hard. Kids have feelings too.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to hire a lawyer in the jurisdiction where the doctors took place. If the kids moved away, then the case may follow them (if you moved, then the case will stay in the previous jurisdiction).

You should be able to seek damages for your attorney fees, missed flights, and change fees. I hope to God you have documentation of this.

In the future - once the kids are at your house, keep them for the allotted time.

Also, this can be a reason for the courts to change custody. It's unusual, but it's happened before. When you go to court - go all the way.

(And I'm a single mom, with an a$$hole ex, but I would never deny his parenting time.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take it to court but the judge will probably just tell her to send the kids and no consequences when she does not or at least that was our experience. Judge ordered her to pay a higher cost of the plane tickets but she never paid anything. All they care is if you are paying child support. Take it to court once and then give up, sad to say, but she isn't going to budge and there are only a few rare judges who will hold up father's rights and the reality of you getting a good and reasonable judge is slim. Mom will come up with all kinds of accusations against you and despite not being able to prove them, nothing will change.

My husband gave up when his youngest was 14. He cut them off when that child was 18 financially and moved on. We hear from them or his ex on a rare occasion. Sadly, my husband would prefer not to hear from them after how they treated him.

How they treated him? The kids were just victims of their mother. Can you blame them for giving up? After all it's what they learned from dear old dad. Men go after what they want relentlessly. Your husband simply wasn't that interested in being a father to them.

I don't know how you can stand to be involved with someone who just gave up on his kids.

I watched my brother go through this and it was torturous. He remarried and had two kids but his emotional resources, his financial resources, his energy was tied up in trying to fight the fight to keep contact with his 2 kids form his first marriage. His second marriage and kids got a worn out, beat down dad. When his first two were 12 and 14, mom dropped them off at his house and walked away. He finally had his kids but he was a broken man. The sleepless nights, the emotional trauma of the alienation and accusations, the legal fight, the money wasted and financial devastation, the years of turmoil and pain took a terrible toll. Then he had two angry teens who had been taught to hate him who now also had a stepmother and 2 siblings. Their home life became a nightmare, step mother kept threatening to take their kids and leave, my brother wondered why he had fought so hard for so long to end up with a life of chaos, a crumbling marriage and 4 kids who were mad at dad.

Men have feelings too. They have limits to what they can handle, they need to be able to protect themselves in some ways to be able to function and live their lives.

Thanks for posting this. So sorry for your brother's struggles. I hope he perseveres.

Today's daily reminder as to why I am Catholic. Just another anecdote about the wrecked families of our declining civilization. And every generation it is going to get worse until we affirmatively work to change our ways. How are those kids going to be able model stable relationships for their kids given all they went through as well??

What does being Catholic have to do with anything? Most people I know use religion to justify the terrible things they do to others.

Only major Christian denomination to not accept divorce. (To be more precise, legal separation and divorce are permitted if necessary but remarriage is not. And yes there are annulments and some people ignore the teachings but most practicing Catholics take it seriously and the culture is clear).

Can't speak to the people you know. That hasn't been my experience. Maybe you should try to make an effort to meet people with more integrity.

Anonymous wrote:All I can say is that I am truly sorry for you and for your kids. My second husband lives 1,100 miles away from us, and every June, my husband and I drive my three youngest kids out to his house, we stay a few days to visit (I had a stressful year, so last week (we just returned home), my ex-husband and I went out on his motorcycle as fast as it would go. I needed that! We àm have a lot of fun together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take it to court but the judge will probably just tell her to send the kids and no consequences when she does not or at least that was our experience. Judge ordered her to pay a higher cost of the plane tickets but she never paid anything. All they care is if you are paying child support. Take it to court once and then give up, sad to say, but she isn't going to budge and there are only a few rare judges who will hold up father's rights and the reality of you getting a good and reasonable judge is slim. Mom will come up with all kinds of accusations against you and despite not being able to prove them, nothing will change.

My husband gave up when his youngest was 14. He cut them off when that child was 18 financially and moved on. We hear from them or his ex on a rare occasion. Sadly, my husband would prefer not to hear from them after how they treated him.

How they treated him? The kids were just victims of their mother. Can you blame them for giving up? After all it's what they learned from dear old dad. Men go after what they want relentlessly. Your husband simply wasn't that interested in being a father to them.

I don't know how you can stand to be involved with someone who just gave up on his kids.

I watched my brother go through this and it was torturous. He remarried and had two kids but his emotional resources, his financial resources, his energy was tied up in trying to fight the fight to keep contact with his 2 kids form his first marriage. His second marriage and kids got a worn out, beat down dad. When his first two were 12 and 14, mom dropped them off at his house and walked away. He finally had his kids but he was a broken man. The sleepless nights, the emotional trauma of the alienation and accusations, the legal fight, the money wasted and financial devastation, the years of turmoil and pain took a terrible toll. Then he had two angry teens who had been taught to hate him who now also had a stepmother and 2 siblings. Their home life became a nightmare, step mother kept threatening to take their kids and leave, my brother wondered why he had fought so hard for so long to end up with a life of chaos, a crumbling marriage and 4 kids who were mad at dad.

Men have feelings too. They have limits to what they can handle, they need to be able to protect themselves in some ways to be able to function and live their lives.

Thanks for posting this. So sorry for your brother's struggles. I hope he perseveres.

Today's daily reminder as to why I am Catholic. Just another anecdote about the wrecked families of our declining civilization. And every generation it is going to get worse until we affirmatively work to change our ways. How are those kids going to be able model stable relationships for their kids given all they went through as well??