no sex for 2+ years

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
sex. we have it, regularly, maybe 1x/week and its fine, pleasurable enough. but i think both of us has had it better, hotter with others. there's something inhibited about it with us.

This is what led to divorce eventually.

are you speaking from experience? just curious.

I've wondered whether our marriage would survive opening it up. I doubt it. I think I'm capable of separating sex from love and having an occasional outside thing to satisfy that itch. Pretty sure my spouse would not be okay with it and is the type to get emotionally wrapped up in sex.

I'm a DW who would welcome an open marriage discussion. I don't know if I'd propose it. Actually, I know I wouldn't, but I'd love to talk about it. Also, in brainstorming on my own, I've wondered if it would help me if I had a say in who my DH's sex partner would be. I know I'd have to partner with someone who was emotionally distant to prevent attachment.

I lose my temper too easily.

My wife cannot apologize and admit wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a marriage counselor once told us, I am "random and abstract" and my husband is "concrete and sequential." That about sums up the fundamental source of our difficulties.

What does it mean that you are "random and abstract"? Can't set goals and achieve them? I wouldn't like a counselor telling me I was "random."

Don't even know what it means but you know you are supposed to be offended?

Anonymous wrote:My wife.

I laughed out loud.

- a DW

Sex life, there is none. My wife has pretty much stopped having sex and when we do it sucks. I am starting to think that she has some real negative associations with sex. Won't let me give oral, only likes sex in one position, has to be a regimented approach to it. I have asked her about it but she says that its "just the way she is". In retrospect it was always kind of like that after the first few months off good, hot sex, but I thought it was just kind of a random thing......until I found this forum looking for daycare options for my kids We are good parents and roomates but at this point I don't really think of her like my wife. Any conversation around sex escalates into her crying and saying she is a bad wife. I am one time away from saying yep, you are. FYI we have three children under 3 so yes, I am a very involved husband in rearing and housework simply becuase there is no choice, but her behavior pre-dated the kids so that's not it. Otherwise its a great marriage.

I struggle to remain attracted to him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a marriage counselor once told us, I am "random and abstract" and my husband is "concrete and sequential." That about sums up the fundamental source of our difficulties.

What does it mean that you are "random and abstract"? Can't set goals and achieve them? I wouldn't like a counselor telling me I was "random."

Like, our life perspectives. I'm more left-brained - or is it right-brained? - interested in the arts, ideas, society, culture, etc. My husband is an engineer and a *true* engineer - he hates ambiguity. So, it can be a challenge.

Does that mean you're ditzy and run late? I can see how you would drive each other crazy. We are both like your husband.

Reluctance to acknowledge that neither of us are beautiful 25-year-olds anymore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a marriage counselor once told us, I am "random and abstract" and my husband is "concrete and sequential." That about sums up the fundamental source of our difficulties.

What does it mean that you are "random and abstract"? Can't set goals and achieve them? I wouldn't like a counselor telling me I was "random."

Like, our life perspectives. I'm more left-brained - or is it right-brained? - interested in the arts, ideas, society, culture, etc. My husband is an engineer and a *true* engineer - he hates ambiguity. So, it can be a challenge.

Hmmm. Let's see. Maybe that dh cheated on me several times in the past and will not come clean despite all the evidence.

Anonymous wrote:As a marriage counselor once told us, I am "random and abstract" and my husband is "concrete and sequential." That about sums up the fundamental source of our difficulties.

What does it mean that you are "random and abstract"? Can't set goals and achieve them? I wouldn't like a counselor telling me I was "random."

I work FT and we have a baby. Weekends I do all housework, trashes are packed full from the week, which he never took out. Laundry is piled up, which he never helps with. I have to nag 100 times to get anything done so now I do everything myself. He sits on the couch b/c hes "tired"

Now our sex life sucks, because I'm tired and annoyed

Anonymous wrote:My husband hardly talks. I'm not a particularly chatty person, but I hate that I have to save any real conversations for other outlets (friends/family) and that I never know what he is thinking and don't get much verbal affection. He's wonderful in most other ways though and I knew that about him going in, so I'm mostly okay with it, but it does leave me lonely at times. My need for more communication is the only argument we ever have, if you can even call in an argument, since he just apologizes, vows to do better, and then clams up.

Ugh same problem here!! He's wonderful and involved but this is my one chief complaint, and agree we almost end up arguing about him not wanting to bond with me which feels counterproductive...suggestions welcome :-/

Anonymous wrote:Husband being antisocial.

This. Also could use more money.