took a VA loan on first house ( thank god Im a veteran) no money down, no PMI sold house made 260K, did this three more times. could have paid cash for house 4 decided to stick with 0 down VA loan because investments will do better than the house

We bought in our mid-30s, about 8 years ago, with a HHI of about 160K.

Our budget cap was 500K; we came in under that. Put 15% -- half of it (30K) came from savings and half came from help from family (mostly from an inheritance).

We saved like we were paying for childcare. We put aside a couple of thousand a month for 2.5 years. Could not have done that without the family help, though. And no way were we laying out 1M for housing. We are a dual non-profit household; a PhD SME and an attorney.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you waited until you had kids to start saving for a downpayment that’s the problem.

This.

I'm glad I went ahead and had my DD in my twenties, since I am now I fertile in my early thirties. Fertility treatments ain't cheap, and literally all the women in my office who waited until their late thirties and early forties are going through very expensive ivf treatments, and our insurance options offer zero coverage. Obviously, not everyone who waits has trouble, but the science doesn't lie about declining fertility rates. We had about $15K saved when I had DD at 28. We purchased our townhome when she was three weeks old. We will be here for 5+ years while we save for a sfh, but I'm glad I have her, and wouldn't trade her for any amount of down payment saved.

I did just the opposite. I bought my first house at 25, bought a house every 5 years until I had 3 properties. I worked and traveled while I was young. I had my first baby at 38 with no intervention or fertility treatments. By the time we started a family, we had enough money to take time off to stay home until I was ready to go back to work. We don't have the financial stress that younger parents have.

We also invested in the stock market in our 20's and 30's before kids. That money continues to grow. If we had our kids first, then invested later, we would have less of a nest egg.

I would never purposefully wait until 38 to have a first baby. That seems crazy.

Another poster here. It may seem crazy to you but it's the easiest way to get ahead career wise and financially. It's why most women in expensive cities and in high paying jobs wait to have kids. You can't get ahead with young kids. You have to already be in a good position financially to have kids.

I took a risk by waiting, but I had a lot of stuff I wanted to do. I got to travel and go all in on a career without having to juggle kids. Financially it has made life a lot easier. But it could have not worked out as well.

Anonymous wrote:How do people save $200,000 for a home downpyament here?! How.

We make $165,000 and have two small kids. It took us all year to save $10,000. At this rate I won't have that kind of cash until I'm 60 (I'm 38 now).

Good grief. How?

$1,000,000 x .20 = $200,000

Are you saving to buy a million dollar house?

Usually what people do is more along the lines of:

$400,000 x .20 = $80,000 (Ex: each one of you saves $40,000 over the course of 4 years - you put away 10K a year, he puts away 10K a year)

With the expense of two small kids, it will probably take longer to save money. We saved/bought before we had kids.

Bought townhouses in 2002 and 2003. One of them with $20k down which was basically every penny I had. Sold in 2005 for a profit of over $200k. Lived in the other TH until 2009 which was sold for a $300k profit.

With scholarships graduated debt free. Didn't buy a (used) car till I was 29. Lived in group houses and took two overseas assignments with housing included. First condo was small and cheap. Used proceeds for down payment for townhouse later. I didn't buy a house needing "200,000 down until I had three children and HHI of about $600,000.

I bought a little condo at 31 which is rented out right now. It'll be paid off any time now and that's my $200k. I was a foreign student before and couldn't get a loan with my visa. I wasted ca 10 years paying rent. With my own condo, I could rent it out or move friends in to help me pay rent any time.
Met DH when he was 38 he had $0 savings and had never owned a property. He bought a condo 2014 in DC and we have about $50k equity in it right now.
We have been unable to save just like you unless we were forced to pay mortgage. I put 10% down on mine and he put 5% down on his.
My sister lived at parent-in-laws townhouse for 10 years paying rent and they returned portion of it and that's how they were able to afford their home in Fairfax.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you waited until you had kids to start saving for a downpayment that’s the problem.

This.

I'm glad I went ahead and had my DD in my twenties, since I am now I fertile in my early thirties. Fertility treatments ain't cheap, and literally all the women in my office who waited until their late thirties and early forties are going through very expensive ivf treatments, and our insurance options offer zero coverage. Obviously, not everyone who waits has trouble, but the science doesn't lie about declining fertility rates. We had about $15K saved when I had DD at 28. We purchased our townhome when she was three weeks old. We will be here for 5+ years while we save for a sfh, but I'm glad I have her, and wouldn't trade her for any amount of down payment saved.

Did you know that the study about declining fertility rates was done with 200 year old data? https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/

Anyway, I'm 40, all of my best friends had their kids in their late 30s/early 40s and none of them had fertility treatments (they would have talked about it if they did). The only person I know doing IVF right now has PCOS and donor sperm.

We saved a lot before we had kids, took $15K each from a Roth IRA and a 401(k).

Anonymous wrote:How do people save $200,000 for a home downpyament here?! How.

We make $165,000 and have two small kids. It took us all year to save $10,000. At this rate I won't have that kind of cash until I'm 60 (I'm 38 now).

Good grief. How?

Why are you looking to buy a million dollar home if your income is $165K? That seems crazy to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you waited until you had kids to start saving for a downpayment that’s the problem.

This.

I'm glad I went ahead and had my DD in my twenties, since I am now I fertile in my early thirties. Fertility treatments ain't cheap, and literally all the women in my office who waited until their late thirties and early forties are going through very expensive ivf treatments, and our insurance options offer zero coverage. Obviously, not everyone who waits has trouble, but the science doesn't lie about declining fertility rates. We had about $15K saved when I had DD at 28. We purchased our townhome when she was three weeks old. We will be here for 5+ years while we save for a sfh, but I'm glad I have her, and wouldn't trade her for any amount of down payment saved.

I did just the opposite. I bought my first house at 25, bought a house every 5 years until I had 3 properties. I worked and traveled while I was young. I had my first baby at 38 with no intervention or fertility treatments. By the time we started a family, we had enough money to take time off to stay home until I was ready to go back to work. We don't have the financial stress that younger parents have.

We also invested in the stock market in our 20's and 30's before kids. That money continues to grow. If we had our kids first, then invested later, we would have less of a nest egg.

I would never purposefully wait until 38 to have a first baby. That seems crazy.

Another poster here. It may seem crazy to you but it's the easiest way to get ahead career wise and financially. It's why most women in expensive cities and in high paying jobs wait to have kids. You can't get ahead with young kids. You have to already be in a good position financially to have kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you waited until you had kids to start saving for a downpayment that’s the problem.

This.

I'm glad I went ahead and had my DD in my twenties, since I am now I fertile in my early thirties. Fertility treatments ain't cheap, and literally all the women in my office who waited until their late thirties and early forties are going through very expensive ivf treatments, and our insurance options offer zero coverage. Obviously, not everyone who waits has trouble, but the science doesn't lie about declining fertility rates. We had about $15K saved when I had DD at 28. We purchased our townhome when she was three weeks old. We will be here for 5+ years while we save for a sfh, but I'm glad I have her, and wouldn't trade her for any amount of down payment saved.

I did just the opposite. I bought my first house at 25, bought a house every 5 years until I had 3 properties. I worked and traveled while I was young. I had my first baby at 38 with no intervention or fertility treatments. By the time we started a family, we had enough money to take time off to stay home until I was ready to go back to work. We don't have the financial stress that younger parents have.

We also invested in the stock market in our 20's and 30's before kids. That money continues to grow. If we had our kids first, then invested later, we would have less of a nest egg.

I would never purposefully wait until 38 to have a first baby. That seems crazy.

You're 38, have two small children, and are just now starting to save for your first house? And, your first house is going to be $1m? And your HHI is only $165k? The answer to your question is in your question.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you waited until you had kids to start saving for a downpayment that’s the problem.

This.

If you didn't step into a biglaw or consulting job OR don't have rich parents, that's the problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you waited until you had kids to start saving for a downpayment that’s the problem.

This.

I'm glad I went ahead and had my DD in my twenties, since I am now I fertile in my early thirties. Fertility treatments ain't cheap, and literally all the women in my office who waited until their late thirties and early forties are going through very expensive ivf treatments, and our insurance options offer zero coverage. Obviously, not everyone who waits has trouble, but the science doesn't lie about declining fertility rates. We had about $15K saved when I had DD at 28. We purchased our townhome when she was three weeks old. We will be here for 5+ years while we save for a sfh, but I'm glad I have her, and wouldn't trade her for any amount of down payment saved.

I did just the opposite. I bought my first house at 25, bought a house every 5 years until I had 3 properties. I worked and traveled while I was young. I had my first baby at 38 with no intervention or fertility treatments. By the time we started a family, we had enough money to take time off to stay home until I was ready to go back to work. We don't have the financial stress that younger parents have.

We also invested in the stock market in our 20's and 30's before kids. That money continues to grow. If we had our kids first, then invested later, we would have less of a nest egg.

Same. Delaying having children let me focus heavily on my career and I continued to increase my salary rapidly. I couldn't have done so with children. By the time we had kids in my early 30s I was making 200k. My husband was making close to 200k as well. It made it much much easier to save.