Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a divorced mom, I almost exclusively date single dads. Guys without kids just don't get it. And that's ok. I didn't get it before I had kids either. If you prefer the spontaneity of your child free life, you probably want to steer clear of women with kids, at least ones in elementary school.

I have kids and I still don't "get it" . There are levels to this parenting thing some of us have lives of our own.

So if BF calls you up at 7 and says, how about a night out; I've got reservations at 8:30, and you have an 8-year-old child at home, you what... walk out? I certainly can't be sure I can find a babysitter in that time frame! And I would get exhausted trying to do that on the regular.

No. When I was a single parent dating I had a babysitter and nights where I could go out, when I got serious with my now husband, occasionally he would come over for dinner or drinks after the kids went to bed.

The point is yes kids take up alot of time and life with them can be predictable, but if you truly want to find marriage again you are going to have to figure out a way to balance both and it can't always be well I can't do xyz because Larla has flower picking or something like that.

The I can't do anything because of my kids attitude leads to step family situations whre no one is happy.

The OP didn't say she couldn't ever do anything. He said she couldn't be spontaneous. And then he defined that as including surprise weekends away and day dates.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a divorced mom, I almost exclusively date single dads. Guys without kids just don't get it. And that's ok. I didn't get it before I had kids either. If you prefer the spontaneity of your child free life, you probably want to steer clear of women with kids, at least ones in elementary school.

I have kids and I still don't "get it" . There are levels to this parenting thing some of us have lives of our own.

So if BF calls you up at 7 and says, how about a night out; I've got reservations at 8:30, and you have an 8-year-old child at home, you what... walk out? I certainly can't be sure I can find a babysitter in that time frame! And I would get exhausted trying to do that on the regular.

No. When I was a single parent dating I had a babysitter and nights where I could go out, when I got serious with my now husband, occasionally he would come over for dinner or drinks after the kids went to bed.

The point is yes kids take up alot of time and life with them can be predictable, but if you truly want to find marriage again you are going to have to figure out a way to balance both and it can't always be well I can't do xyz because Larla has flower picking or something like that.

The I can't do anything because of my kids attitude leads to step family situations whre no one is happy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP give her a little notice so she can send the kid to the dad's. That's probably all you need to do.

I've done that before. She canceled last minute because her ex canceled on her.

Single mom here--I've had to do that before. It sucks because I can't control the situation. I will try to get a sitter but often it's not possible at the last minute. What I would ask you is what would you like her to do in that situation?

I understand her situation and I know her child comes first. I wouldn't want to date a single mom that didn't put her kids first. I was giving PP a response to their suggestion, I wasn't putting the woman down.

This exactly. I have kids, and I have sometimes fantasized about just walking away, but I went on a date with a guy who I found out basically walked away from his child and girlfriend. They were young, he moved away for job, etc. I'm thinking about what kind of role model you'd be for my daughter if it got that far, so it's not even worth entertaining even for fun at this point. Their stepdad has got to be someone who doesn't bring more pain and work to our lives. Because all I'm thinking about is how I moved mountains to be near my kids, and how I've probably seen them more in a month, with split custody and a crazy schedule, than this date's seen his son in a year or more.

Think grandchildren, even if you don't have any children together. It can be hard at times. I have two. My husband helps a lot, although he is somewhat distant and gets easily agitated by all the noise and confusion, but he doesn't show it to my grandchildren. Still, when he tells them to do something, they do. But it's hard work all the way around.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP give her a little notice so she can send the kid to the dad's. That's probably all you need to do.

I've done that before. She canceled last minute because her ex canceled on her.

Single mom here--I've had to do that before. It sucks because I can't control the situation. I will try to get a sitter but often it's not possible at the last minute. What I would ask you is what would you like her to do in that situation?

I understand her situation and I know her child comes first. I wouldn't want to date a single mom that didn't put her kids first. I was giving PP a response to their suggestion, I wasn't putting the woman down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP give her a little notice so she can send the kid to the dad's. That's probably all you need to do.

I've done that before. She canceled last minute because her ex canceled on her.

Single mom here--I've had to do that before. It sucks because I can't control the situation. I will try to get a sitter but often it's not possible at the last minute. What I would ask you is what would you like her to do in that situation?

Enough, people. He has realized he doesn't want to date someone with kids. That's not a crime.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP give her a little notice so she can send the kid to the dad's. That's probably all you need to do.

I've done that before. She canceled last minute because her ex canceled on her.

Single mom here--I've had to do that before. It sucks because I can't control the situation. I will try to get a sitter but often it's not possible at the last minute. What I would ask you is what would you like her to do in that situation?

Anonymous wrote:OP give her a little notice so she can send the kid to the dad's. That's probably all you need to do.

I've done that before. She canceled last minute because her ex canceled on her.