Anonymous
05/09/2017 23:53
Subject: OMG tween just had epic tantrum
I saw a couple people mention it casually but I wanted to reemphasize: food. It took until adulthood to realize my mom's sudden detours to Burger King during outings were in direct response to our negative behavior--whether we were already melting down or on the verge. For a lot of kids (and adults), quietly offering a well-timed snack can thwart an epic tantrum and avoid confrontation.
Anonymous
05/09/2017 23:18
Subject: Re:OMG tween just had epic tantrum
Anonymous wrote:My 11 year old wouldn't dare. His three adult brothers certainly never acted this way, and he wouldn't, either. He would be outside mowing the yard and expending some of that energy.
I thought that about mine too. Didn'the work.
Anonymous
05/09/2017 22:11
Subject: Re:OMG tween just had epic tantrum
My 11 year old wouldn't dare. His three adult brothers certainly never acted this way, and he wouldn't, either. He would be outside mowing the yard and expending some of that energy.
Anonymous
05/09/2017 20:45
Subject: Re:OMG tween just had epic tantrum
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't think 11 is tween, but okay.
What do you think a tween is?
I think tweens are supposed to be 12, according to the definition, which means preteen.
A preteen is usually in secondary school, so..
Wow this really adds to the conversation...
OP I mentioned getting a therapist to help your family. We did it and it was only 3 sessions and my DD is worlds better (and I think we're parenting differently which might be the trick). Good luck.
Anonymous
05/09/2017 20:27
Subject: OMG tween just had epic tantrum
I think of tween as being double digits in age but not yet a teen-so between 10-12.
Anonymous
05/09/2017 18:55
Subject: Re:OMG tween just had epic tantrum
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't think 11 is tween, but okay.
What do you think a tween is?
I think tweens are supposed to be 12, according to the definition, which means preteen.
A preteen is usually in secondary school, so..
Anonymous
05/09/2017 18:38
Subject: Re:OMG tween just had epic tantrum
Anonymous wrote:Thank you everyone. This is OP and the responses are really good advice. For those of you suggesting to walk away, do we just not have him be punished for his actions? His tantrum happened because he didn't want to go to his room. Should I just walk away and let him be in the rec room or wherever he wants and not ground him? I would think that would teach him that if he throws a fit, there's no grounding/punishment (but what do I know - I totally messed this one up)
We called a therapist/behaviorist today for an appointment. Hopefully we'll get more good suggestions.
It's not that you shouldn't punish/have consequences, but that you can't do that effectively while the tantrum is happening. You need to put the fire out first before you can come in with reason and consequences.
Anonymous
05/09/2017 18:34
Subject: Re:OMG tween just had epic tantrum
Anonymous wrote:I don't think 11 is tween, but okay.
What do you think a tween is?
Anonymous
05/09/2017 18:33
Subject: Re:OMG tween just had epic tantrum
Anonymous wrote:I don't think 11 is tween, but okay.
Of course it is. If not at 11, then when? He's in the cusp of adolescence.
Anonymous
05/09/2017 17:49
Subject: Re:OMG tween just had epic tantrum
I don't think 11 is tween, but okay.
Anonymous
05/09/2017 17:17
Subject: OMG tween just had epic tantrum
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Get out the belt. Problem solved.
I'm with ya brother.... there are plenty of generations that grew up with corporal punishment and are doing just fine.
hell my grandfather used make us pick our own switch from the willow tree.
when I did something stupid, and dad came home....I knew shit was going to get real when the work belt came off.
Stop glad handing these kids....
Which generation, the ME generation, the 80's coke heads that run wallstreet, the bankers that crashed our economy for money.
Whenever somebody says that to me... hey my parents did that and I am just fine... I wonder if the person is that delusional.
so you really think that raising self entitled weenies that are all "disabled" or have a "disease" that's been concocted by drug companies to make money and not hold kids and parents reasonable for their behavior, are going to turn out better than those of us who where spanked as children. talk about being delusional
i was spanked by my parents and grand parents, and i was on the list for the principal for those kids who l were allowed to be punished by spanking.
I have never done illegal drugs, I have never been arrested of anything more than a traffic violation I got a great job, great wife(whom I don't beat) and great daughter (who I have not ever had to raise my hand to, bus its always been on the table as a form of discipline)
some times, you just gotta stop pu$$y footing around with some of these kids... you want to "talk with with them" great, the kid figures out that not matter how bad he screws up mummsy and papa are just gonna talk to him .... I have a tantrum and break things. talk to me. I steel 650 bucks from your charge cod on xbox live. can we talk....
chirst, crime and punishment. dole it out like a parent. you cannot be a parent and a friend at the same time.
Once a pain always a pain apparently!
Anonymous
05/09/2017 17:16
Subject: Re:OMG tween just had epic tantrum
Anonymous wrote:Thank you everyone. This is OP and the responses are really good advice. For those of you suggesting to walk away, do we just not have him be punished for his actions? His tantrum happened because he didn't want to go to his room. Should I just walk away and let him be in the rec room or wherever he wants and not ground him? I would think that would teach him that if he throws a fit, there's no grounding/punishment (but what do I know - I totally messed this one up)
We called a therapist/behaviorist today for an appointment. Hopefully we'll get more good suggestions.
Yes. Walk away then. No punishment for his freaking out except to clean up and replace whatever he messed up or broke.
If you were supposed to take him somewhere I guess you're not going. Send his friend home. He should apologize later if he yelled at a sibling.
You aren't parenting a young kid anymore it's less about punishment and more about guiding.
Anonymous
05/09/2017 16:35
Subject: OMG tween just had epic tantrum
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Get out the belt. Problem solved.
I'm with ya brother.... there are plenty of generations that grew up with corporal punishment and are doing just fine.
hell my grandfather used make us pick our own switch from the willow tree.
when I did something stupid, and dad came home....I knew shit was going to get real when the work belt came off.
Stop glad handing these kids....
Which generation, the ME generation, the 80's coke heads that run wallstreet, the bankers that crashed our economy for money.
Whenever somebody says that to me... hey my parents did that and I am just fine... I wonder if the person is that delusional.
I'm pretty sure you're delusional, not sure if that makes it easier or harder to see in others.
Anonymous
05/09/2017 15:12
Subject: OMG tween just had epic tantrum
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Get out the belt. Problem solved.
I'm with ya brother.... there are plenty of generations that grew up with corporal punishment and are doing just fine.
hell my grandfather used make us pick our own switch from the willow tree.
when I did something stupid, and dad came home....I knew shit was going to get real when the work belt came off.
Stop glad handing these kids....
Which generation, the ME generation, the 80's coke heads that run wallstreet, the bankers that crashed our economy for money.
Whenever somebody says that to me... hey my parents did that and I am just fine... I wonder if the person is that delusional.
so you really think that raising self entitled weenies that are all "disabled" or have a "disease" that's been concocted by drug companies to make money and not hold kids and parents reasonable for their behavior, are going to turn out better than those of us who where spanked as children. talk about being delusional
i was spanked by my parents and grand parents, and i was on the list for the principal for those kids who l were allowed to be punished by spanking.
I have never done illegal drugs, I have never been arrested of anything more than a traffic violation I got a great job, great wife(whom I don't beat) and great daughter (who I have not ever had to raise my hand to, bus its always been on the table as a form of discipline)
some times, you just gotta stop pu$$y footing around with some of these kids... you want to "talk with with them" great, the kid figures out that not matter how bad he screws up mummsy and papa are just gonna talk to him .... I have a tantrum and break things. talk to me. I steel 650 bucks from your charge cod on xbox live. can we talk....
chirst, crime and punishment. dole it out like a parent. you cannot be a parent and a friend at the same time.
Anonymous
05/09/2017 13:41
Subject: OMG tween just had epic tantrum
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Get out the belt. Problem solved.
I'm with ya brother.... there are plenty of generations that grew up with corporal punishment and are doing just fine.
hell my grandfather used make us pick our own switch from the willow tree.
when I did something stupid, and dad came home....I knew shit was going to get real when the work belt came off.
Stop glad handing these kids....
Which generation, the ME generation, the 80's coke heads that run wallstreet, the bankers that crashed our economy for money.
Whenever somebody says that to me... hey my parents did that and I am just fine... I wonder if the person is that delusional.