Anonymous
Post 04/26/2017 18:57     Subject: Daycare nightmare -- warning about Bright Horizons - Reston Commerce Metro and Simon Center
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I worked in daycares during college. Until you spend all day/every day at them, you have NO WAY of knowing what goes on there when parents aren't around.


+1


Duh, says everyone. That said, I'm pretty sure my spunky, happy kid who runs into his teacher's arms everyday isn't being abused. If he is, shame on me.


I have a kid in daycare. There is a huge continuum from "being abused" to "neglect leading to detergent swallowing" to "benign neglect" to "lukewarm supervision" to "acceptable engagement" to "well-cared for." I think most of us are probably getting care for our kids in the middle range.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2017 17:32     Subject: Daycare nightmare -- warning about Bright Horizons - Reston Commerce Metro and Simon Center
Does anyone actually eat bon-bons?
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2017 17:17     Subject: Daycare nightmare -- warning about Bright Horizons - Reston Commerce Metro and Simon Center
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I worked in daycares during college. Until you spend all day/every day at them, you have NO WAY of knowing what goes on there when parents aren't around.


+1. I swore then that my kids would never spend so much as an hour in daycare. I've seen too much horrific stuff in too many "great daycares". I wouldn't leave a young child with a nanny either. Some things are just not worth the risk.


I"ve never worked in daycare, but my office overlooks an purportedly well respected day care facility. I have plenty of opportunity to observe the daycare workers interacting with the kids. I'm sure the parents of many of those kids also swear that those workers love their kids--and I"m sure that they do like them, but some of the behaviour is pretty eye-opening.


This is true. Of course people who put their children in daycare feel that the providers love their children. The parents need to feel that way so that they can feel good about the choice they have made for their child.


Similarly, some women argue that all daycares are terrible to justify their life of bon-bons and tele-novelas while they are supposefly minding the children.



Seriously, though, the truth is in the middle.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2017 17:03     Subject: Daycare nightmare -- warning about Bright Horizons - Reston Commerce Metro and Simon Center
TBH, I think that the pay and ratios of most of the "big" daycare centers makes it basically impossible for caregivers to do a good job with the babies and young toddlers, who demand so much energy. I'm not surprised at all that there are bad apples, or good employees who are stressed and treat kids harshly. I didn't really feel like the ratios were correct until we got to our current center, which is 1:4 for 3-5 year olds. Basically, you get what you pay for when you stick 8 infants in a room with 2 caregivers who are stressed by low pay and long commutes. This isn't to say that the babies are all harmed, or that there are not caregivers who do a great job under difficult circumstances. It's just that I believe it is suboptimal on many levels. That's why I chose to have my child with a nanny until 2. And even from 2-3 I never really felt quite confident in the level of care, due to the demands of the kids and the caregiver ratio.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2017 17:02     Subject: Re:Daycare nightmare -- warning about Bright Horizons - Reston Commerce Metro and Simon Center
OP, thanks for posting this message and please ignore the critics. If I was the parent of the child you mention I would want to know. Just because one hasn't seen a bad incident doesn't mean they don't happen. At least you.ve done the best you can to report what you saw.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2017 16:58     Subject: Re:Daycare nightmare -- warning about Bright Horizons - Reston Commerce Metro and Simon Center
Anonymous wrote:I worked at centers that are routinely described as "the best". All lead teachers were degreed. NAEYC accredited. Etc. I also worked for licensing. My experiences in daycares all over this area convinced me that my kids would never attend one. Just a couple of examples of hundreds - I taught the academic part of the day in a pre-K 4 class. Loved the kids! I was there from 8:30 until about 12:30. I saw a teacher put her coat over a child, pretend to hug him, and twist his little ear till he screamed in pain. And she bragged about doing it all the time because it left no mark. I saw a teacher shove a pacifier into a child's mouth in the toddler room causing his mouth to bleed. Incident report said he fell. I saw a teacher take a child into the bathroom out of sight (she thought) and hit her with shoe because the child kept taking shoes off. I saw a teacher literally throw a child into a chair. The child hit his head. Hard. Incident report said child slipped while trying to sit in a chair. I found a child in the daycare parking lot when I left one afternoon. No one had noticed he was missing. I could go in. These were degreed teachers that everyone raved about. The sad part is the kids still ran up and hugged them every day. Of course I reported. The teachers were "counseled".

Before I get accused of being a nanny, I would never leave a young child with a nanny either. No oversight at all. You say I am "lucky to have the choice to SAH". No. We made the choice. We sacrificed so that a parent would be the primary care giver.


These are terrible to read about, and I think most of us are hoping they don't actually happen at any centers, but especially not at our reputable, accredited centers. But I'm not saying you're making these up (just that most of us don't WANT to believe them). I guess we just need to be vigilant and check up on our children's caregivers as much as we can. And hopefully when our kids are old enough to tell us about their day, we can have conversations with them about what is okay for teachers to do and what is not okay, and they will feel comfortable telling us if something happens.

Parents have very strong feelings about who should care for their children, working versus full time childrearing, etc. and there's no one right answer for everyone. I truly believe that my family benefits greatly from using outside child care (versus them being home with a parent full time), but I'm sure I'd feel differently if these kinds of things happened to them.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2017 16:56     Subject: Daycare nightmare -- warning about Bright Horizons - Reston Commerce Metro and Simon Center
It's amazing that all these positive Simon Center parents found this thread.

I'm sure there's two sides to these stories.

Yes, sometimes less-than-intelligent people make terrible decisions at daycare.

Also, sometimes parents get a tiny snapshot out of context and over-react.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2017 16:43     Subject: Re:Daycare nightmare -- warning about Bright Horizons - Reston Commerce Metro and Simon Center
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I worked at centers that are routinely described as "the best". All lead teachers were degreed. NAEYC accredited. Etc. I also worked for licensing. My experiences in daycares all over this area convinced me that my kids would never attend one. Just a couple of examples of hundreds - I taught the academic part of the day in a pre-K 4 class. Loved the kids! I was there from 8:30 until about 12:30. I saw a teacher put her coat over a child, pretend to hug him, and twist his little ear till he screamed in pain. And she bragged about doing it all the time because it left no mark. I saw a teacher shove a pacifier into a child's mouth in the toddler room causing his mouth to bleed. Incident report said he fell. I saw a teacher take a child into the bathroom out of sight (she thought) and hit her with shoe because the child kept taking shoes off. I saw a teacher literally throw a child into a chair. The child hit his head. Hard. Incident report said child slipped while trying to sit in a chair. I found a child in the daycare parking lot when I left one afternoon. No one had noticed he was missing. I could go in. These were degreed teachers that everyone raved about. The sad part is the kids still ran up and hugged them every day. Of course I reported. The teachers were "counseled".

Before I get accused of being a nanny, I would never leave a young child with a nanny either. No oversight at all. You say I am "lucky to have the choice to SAH". No. We made the choice. We sacrificed so that a parent would be the primary care giver.


You are a bit dim-witted, aren't you? If you MADE the choice, you obviously HAD the choice. Saying you sacrificed so that you can stay home still makes you fortunate enough to be able to do that. What did you sacrifice? Food? housing? because you do realize some of us would have to sacrifice those things to "make the choice" you made.


And what kind of 4 year old wouldn't tell someone that had happened? .... hmm.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2017 16:41     Subject: Re:Daycare nightmare -- warning about Bright Horizons - Reston Commerce Metro and Simon Center
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

X1000!


Didn't she say her child actually had chemical burns in her throat? If true, she is hardly overreacting. Maybe your standards are a little low.


no- she said her doctor found 'throat irritation consistent with drinking detergent' Who knows what that means. She is a little hysterical. It could mean that OP took the child to the doctor, and the doctor said well her throat appears a little irrititated, and she said 'is that b/c she drank detergent' and the doctor said 'could be.'
It could also mean the child has a cold- or whatever.
The teacher stopped her child from drinking detergent. She went nuts and tried to have the teacher fired, left the center, reported it to licensing, and then tried public shaming by name.


Actually you sound hysterically funny. The teacher didn't stop her child from drinking it and a doctor can tell the difference between a throat irritation from a chemical and a virus/sore throat.

How in the world are you ok with this? The teacher should be fired. Very glad OP reported and public shamed.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2017 16:32     Subject: Daycare nightmare -- warning about Bright Horizons - Reston Commerce Metro and Simon Center
Anonymous wrote:Another Simon Center parent and supporter here. The OP sounds a bit unhinged.


Dude, you are LYING. There is no sane parent on earth who would think it's okay to hand a child laundry detergent.
How about we give your kid a drawer of sharp knives to play with? I think you should be reported to CPS for even suggesting this behavior is okay. You clearly aren't an adequate parent.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2017 16:32     Subject: Re:Daycare nightmare -- warning about Bright Horizons - Reston Commerce Metro and Simon Center
Anonymous wrote:I worked at centers that are routinely described as "the best". All lead teachers were degreed. NAEYC accredited. Etc. I also worked for licensing. My experiences in daycares all over this area convinced me that my kids would never attend one. Just a couple of examples of hundreds - I taught the academic part of the day in a pre-K 4 class. Loved the kids! I was there from 8:30 until about 12:30. I saw a teacher put her coat over a child, pretend to hug him, and twist his little ear till he screamed in pain. And she bragged about doing it all the time because it left no mark. I saw a teacher shove a pacifier into a child's mouth in the toddler room causing his mouth to bleed. Incident report said he fell. I saw a teacher take a child into the bathroom out of sight (she thought) and hit her with shoe because the child kept taking shoes off. I saw a teacher literally throw a child into a chair. The child hit his head. Hard. Incident report said child slipped while trying to sit in a chair. I found a child in the daycare parking lot when I left one afternoon. No one had noticed he was missing. I could go in. These were degreed teachers that everyone raved about. The sad part is the kids still ran up and hugged them every day. Of course I reported. The teachers were "counseled".

Before I get accused of being a nanny, I would never leave a young child with a nanny either. No oversight at all. You say I am "lucky to have the choice to SAH". No. We made the choice. We sacrificed so that a parent would be the primary care giver.


You are a bit dim-witted, aren't you? If you MADE the choice, you obviously HAD the choice. Saying you sacrificed so that you can stay home still makes you fortunate enough to be able to do that. What did you sacrifice? Food? housing? because you do realize some of us would have to sacrifice those things to "make the choice" you made.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2017 16:28     Subject: Daycare nightmare -- warning about Bright Horizons - Reston Commerce Metro and Simon Center
Anonymous wrote:It's incredibly stupid to give toddlers laundry detergent- wether the child drank it or not- I would be upset- reflects such poor judgement on the teacher. So I think the OP has valid concern there.


Exactly! What was the reason she gave toddlers laundry detergent?
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2017 16:17     Subject: Daycare nightmare -- warning about Bright Horizons - Reston Commerce Metro and Simon Center
It's incredibly stupid to give toddlers laundry detergent- wether the child drank it or not- I would be upset- reflects such poor judgement on the teacher. So I think the OP has valid concern there.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2017 16:15     Subject: Daycare nightmare -- warning about Bright Horizons - Reston Commerce Metro and Simon Center

Honestly, the positive comments sound extremely suspicious.

OP, I believe you, and I am horrified by what happened. The only way to get highly trained and intelligent staff in daycares that are affordable to working families is GOVERNMENT SUBSIDIES. Just like they do in nearly every developed country apart from this one.

Here daycare staff is terribly underpaid and poorly trained compared to other countries. They're raking the bottom of the barrel in terms of applicants, usually. Political will is what's missing here.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2017 16:14     Subject: Daycare nightmare -- warning about Bright Horizons - Reston Commerce Metro and Simon Center
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I worked in daycares during college. Until you spend all day/every day at them, you have NO WAY of knowing what goes on there when parents aren't around.


+1


Duh, says everyone. That said, I'm pretty sure my spunky, happy kid who runs into his teacher's arms everyday isn't being abused. If he is, shame on me.