Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, so weird how harsh everyone is being on OP. OP, I think you should not go. Your parents seem to like the idea of their grandchild visiting but don't want to actually put any work into helping. Screw that.

Or try a compromise of finding a resort or something nearish your parents and offering to vacation with them there.

She doesn't know that her parents won't put any work into helping when their grandchild is there BECAUSE SHE HAS NEVER ACTUALLY BROUGHT THEIR GRANCHILD THERE! OP is creating this whole scenario that has no basis in fact.

OP is an insufferable, whiny brat. I hope her parents figure out that they are better off without her "company."

Other than her entire relationship with them. Her parents. People she knows quite well. People you don't know at all.

(And why are you shouting? Does this hit home for you? Have you been accused of sitting on the couch all day not helping?)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is three. He doesn't need a houseful of toys. Or a million kids to okay with him. Take him to a park. Let him play with pots and pans. All of you can go visit something local.

Yes, we do plan to sightsee (though they live in a tiny town with very little to do) but he doesn't nap so he is awake for 12 hours in the day. They like to spend most of the day at home so I will be trying to entertain a toddler at their house at least 10 hours a day (and of course my parents refuse to help watch him). My son is not the type to play with pots and pans. He likes his train table at home. I am dreading this trip quite frankly.

Ahhh....get up feed the kid, when the grandparents get up go take a nap....repeat all day! He will be fine. He is a lot bigger now and will be curious and interact with others.

np: My parents have 5 grandchildren all flying distance away, but they were only willing to buy a used Pack N Play for $10 and when it broke, that was it, they were done, wouldn't buy any other child stuff. They won't set foot in a children's museum, even though their town has a nice one (I've been with my kids), and my dad says things like "please leave the room so I can watch this movie I rented" when we come once a year. When visiting me, my dad gets jealous if my mom pays attention to my kids. He recently mentioned a trip they took when my brother and I were 5 and 6. They dropped us off with a neighbor and flew to Disneyworld! They never took us to Disneyworld. You might wonder why he brought this up. I think it's to show me that as always, he comes first.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is three. He doesn't need a houseful of toys. Or a million kids to okay with him. Take him to a park. Let him play with pots and pans. All of you can go visit something local.

Yes, we do plan to sightsee (though they live in a tiny town with very little to do) [/b]but he doesn't nap so he is awake for 12 hours in the day. [b] They like to spend most of the day at home so I will be trying to entertain a toddler at their house at least 10 hours a day (and of course my parents refuse to help watch him). My son is not the type to play with pots and pans. He likes his train table at home. I am dreading this trip quite frankly.

God help you in that case!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you going?
My parents town is like this and they stay inside most of the day. When I roll into town, I put all the breakables on a high shelf and make sure there is no obvious danger (asked my dad where he keeps his gun). Then we get up and say, today the kids and I are going for a walk, we'll come home and color/do a puzzle, watch tv and go get ice cream after dinner. Tomorrow I'm taking them to the zoo. Would you like to join us? Then just do you and let the parents do what they do. Make it work or don't go.

OP here. I am going because they have been constantly nagging me for 3 years to bring him to come visit. I have no familiarity with this town or the area (my parents retired there 10 years ago from the midwest) so I really don't feel comfortable driving around there on my own with a toddler. Besides watching a ton of TV there they have very little to do in their area. No pool, nothing to walk to (they live in the mountains and their town is a 20 minute drive away). No sidewalks, small neighborhood, no kids in the neighborhood.

The thought of entertaining a cranky, jet lagged 3 year old for 12 hours a day with no help (and very little toys) sounds exhausting. Yes, we will bring a suitcase full of toys and I will stop at Target on the way there but I don't know how long to go (a week seems too long, but 3 days given the distance seems too short).

So you have to pay for checked baggage toys, buy toys, and rent a car to drive how far from an airport?

What do they do out there? Garden? Is it one of those areas that is expensive to fly to or you need the crappy little united jets or turbo rpops?

We've taken our twins regularly to see both my parents and my MIL. You are lamenting that they aren't wrapping up your week with them in a pretty package with a bow. But, you're the parent. Act like it. Get on the computer and do a little research. I have managed to find age-appropriate things to do near my MIL for every visit. I usually compile a list longer than we need and every day my children and I talk about what to do. Sometimes we coordinate with family who want to come along, but the kids and I usually make the plans.

Look for any of the following nearby:
Playgrounds, especially big ones with fancy structures
Zoos
Aquariums
Children's museums
McDonald's or Chick-Fil-A's with indoor playrooms (good for when the weather is too hot, too cold, rainy, etc)
Trains, subways, light rails (if we don't use the public transit to get to some attraction, we often schedule one day just to ride the trains around and come back, my 5 yo twins have loved this for at least 3 years)
Fruit picking farms
Local attractions like a water park or even a fountain. We went to dinner once where there was a fountain and the kids had a blast playing in the fountain after dinner.
Beach

It's amazing what you can find with Google nowadays. I usually start with "City, State kid friendly attractions" and go from there. A couple of nights and I usually have more ideas than we need.

As for toys, we've done the ideas already mentioned:
The kids each get a kid-sized roller bag and they stock up what they want to entertain them. They each pack their animals and legos/duplos if they want them. They pack particular toy cars they want. I make sure that the roller bags that they have are ones that will fit under the seat in front of them, so that they don't need overhead space for the bag.

I also pack craft supplies (markers, crayons, stickers) in my bag. Then a stack of paper from your parents printer or even stop by a dollar store and pick up some construction paper and he should be okay. Also, the best kids distraction, especially on planes, is masking tape. I go to Michael's and pick up 4-5 colors of masking tape and give pieces to the kids on the plane. They can stick to the tray tables, to the window, seats. We look for pictures in the SkyMall magazine and tear them out and make collages or they tape them up on the windows and tray tables. I make origami with the pages and they tape them up. They will take paper scraps from the magazine and tape them to make planes/cars/toys. When done, I take a bag and toss it all in for the flight attendants last pass for trash. If I don't have a bag, I take an air sickness bag to clean it all up. When we get to destinations, my kids can do the same things there including at my MIL's house. Masking tape and painter's tape clean up easily and don't leave residue, so it's all pretty child safe.

We have rented boxes of toys, back when we still needed to rent cribs or strollers. Now we don't bother because the rental places mostly stock toys for toddlers and not for preschoolers.

We have purchased several things on Amazon to ship to my parents house before we get there. And then we go to UPS and ship a box home.

We have stopped by Walmart or the dollar store on the way from the airport to my parents house and they get to pick out a bunch of inexpensive things to play with that week. Then much of that can be tossed when we leave.

Anonymous wrote:I don't get your negativity. You assume it will suck, but you've never even been. A three-year-old (who is NOT a toddler) doesn't need all that much childproofing anyways.

We went to visit my parents when they were renting a house in one of those 55+ towns in Arizona. There was actually a lot for the kids to do--the pools had kid/family hours every day, there were parks, the local fire station loaned out and installed car seats--basically, lots of amenities for visiting grandchildren. The rec center even ran spring break swim camps.

There was a children's museum and zoo not too far away. There were lots of easy hiking trails. We brought a few toys and books, my parents bought a bunch of coloring books and paper and crayons. My daughter was thrilled to help Grandma bake cookies and help Grandpa take the dog for walks. She had a fantastic time and talks about it all the time.

You need to actually find out what is there that's kid-friendly. Some retirement communities do have stuff for kids, because they know that grandkids will be visiting.

I don't get your negativity. You assume it will suck, but you've never even been. A three-year-old (who is NOT a toddler) doesn't need all that much childproofing anyways.

We went to visit my parents when they were renting a house in one of those 55+ towns in Arizona. There was actually a lot for the kids to do--the pools had kid/family hours every day, there were parks, the local fire station loaned out and installed car seats--basically, lots of amenities for visiting grandchildren. The rec center even ran spring break swim camps.

There was a children's museum and zoo not too far away. There were lots of easy hiking trails. We brought a few toys and books, my parents bought a bunch of coloring books and paper and crayons. My daughter was thrilled to help Grandma bake cookies and help Grandpa take the dog for walks. She had a fantastic time and talks about it all the time.

Can you manage to stay 3 days with them and then stay in nearby hotel with a pool the rest of the time?

My parents don't childproof either and there's simply not room for all of us + my siblings' families but my parents like hosting, so we get hosted for 48-72 hours then check into a hotel for the rest of the visit. It's an easy story to tell - kids need their own bed, do better with a pool, etc.

If you have never been there, you have no idea how your son will act there nor how your parents will act. But I find it concerning that your 3 year old requires baby proofing, a room full of toys, and to be entertained for hours on end. It is good for a 3 year old to be able to play on their own and be creative in their play... hiding in blankets, making pillow forts, making dolls out of paper, playing with pots and pans, drawing on paper, looking at new things, baking with mom/grandma, etc. You said they're in the mountains, can you find a place he can hike/climb/explore?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is three. He doesn't need a houseful of toys. Or a million kids to okay with him. Take him to a park. Let him play with pots and pans. All of you can go visit something local.

Yes, we do plan to sightsee (though they live in a tiny town with very little to do) but he doesn't nap so he is awake for 12 hours in the day. They like to spend most of the day at home so I will be trying to entertain a toddler at their house at least 10 hours a day (and of course my parents refuse to help watch him). My son is not the type to play with pots and pans. He likes his train table at home. I am dreading this trip quite frankly.

Do this for the trains!!! It's incredibly useful-- we've done it for several trips!. https://play-trains.com/pencil-box-portable-train-set/

You are flying anyway, why not meet your parents at a better place (resort, beach?)

Either go and commit to be positive and a problem solver and you will have a trip. If you fly across the country and complain the whole time that it's not the same as at home, then, yes, you will have a shitty time. I am unsurprised that your toddler "isn't the type to play with pots and pans" (aka, is inflexible and high-maintenance), because you seem to be pretty much that way yourself.

Anonymous wrote:Wow, so many masty people. I get it, OP. My parents' condo has one room of living space - no yard, no walking areas, no outdoor space, and kids aren't allowed to use the pools. I have boxes of art supplies and toys but it's a really hard visit. I have to be on top of them and going anywhere is a production. When we come home from an outing, we want to veg, but we're all in one room. It sounds like it might be easier for you to postpone the visit for a year or two. Good luck with you decision.

I disagree with this. It's easy to entertain a 3 year old with walks in the park, a trip to the library, a meal at Mcdonalds. It's only going to get harder as her DS gets older. Do this now to set up routines and traditions with grandparents that can be looked forward to and repeated. Maybe a cooking project that you always do at Grandmas house, etc.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you going?
My parents town is like this and they stay inside most of the day. When I roll into town, I put all the breakables on a high shelf and make sure there is no obvious danger (asked my dad where he keeps his gun). Then we get up and say, today the kids and I are going for a walk, we'll come home and color/do a puzzle, watch tv and go get ice cream after dinner. Tomorrow I'm taking them to the zoo. Would you like to join us? Then just do you and let the parents do what they do. Make it work or don't go.

This. Basically, live a normal 3-year-old-based existence and your parents can join you or not, their choice. Rent a car so you can come and go as you please. Before you go, research local offerings and sketch out a plan for every day. Monday--trip to McDonalds or local breakfast joint for breakfast and coffee, then a trip to the library for story time and to check out a huge stack of books to bring back to your parents' house. Then a stop at the grocery store to stock up on kid friendly foods. Then home for lunch with your parents. Afternoon, a trip to a local park, then stop at Walmart for some bubbles, chalk, matchbox cars, a ball, finger paints and a bin to keep things in. Then back home for dinner and fingerprinting. Tuesday--back to the park after breakfast to play with chalk, bubbles, ball. Back home for lunch, then a trip to a matinee in the afternoon. Etc.