Are you skinny fat? don't fall into the trap of looking at the scale. If your 10 pounds heavier than what you weighed before its really like 15 b/c you lost muscle ( even women lose ). you can even weigh the same but are much fatter than you were in your 20s. Go by how clothes fit take pics in your underwear and make an honest assessment of the photos. Walk tall with your shoulders back chest out. Workout with weights to build muscle disregard if this is also reflected on the scale. If you did it right you would probably gain 3-5 pounds in the first month but by the 3rd month be lower by 5. take other pics along the way to measure progress

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually I am going to go out on a limb and say women have it much easier than men. In the 1950s, being a thin or "in shape" woman wasn't particularly novel. Today, a woman can stand out and get positive male attention (and indeed will likely have many suitors) merely by being quite fit and having low body fat. Why? Because so many people are overweight today.

Men, however, are still mainly judged based on height and income. They might somewhat (but really a lot of income is about inherited IQ) be able to control income, but obviously men have no control over their height.

Ergo, female beauty is more controllable and women can more easily improve in the looks category than men.

Agreed. It's ridiculously simple for any woman to become "hot". Just get fit. That is basically all it takes, and 99% within her own control.

A man's attractiveness mostly comes from a genetic lottery (height, baldness) where he has 0% control.

Omg, please! Make $$$ and gain status in society, and you'll get laid like tile as long as you are over 5'7"! No hair required. See Jason Statham yymmmmmm.

Anonymous wrote:Actually I am going to go out on a limb and say women have it much easier than men. In the 1950s, being a thin or "in shape" woman wasn't particularly novel. Today, a woman can stand out and get positive male attention (and indeed will likely have many suitors) merely by being quite fit and having low body fat. Why? Because so many people are overweight today.

Men, however, are still mainly judged based on height and income. They might somewhat (but really a lot of income is about inherited IQ) be able to control income, but obviously men have no control over their height.

Ergo, female beauty is more controllable and women can more easily improve in the looks category than men.

Agreed. It's ridiculously simple for any woman to become "hot". Just get fit. That is basically all it takes, and 99% within her own control.

A man's attractiveness mostly comes from a genetic lottery (height, baldness) where he has 0% control.

Anonymous wrote:Drink water, get plenty of sleep, work out 5x a week, eat an 80/20 diet of 80% healthy nutritious food and 20% whatever. Obviously makeup and hair and clothing helps but that's all subjective based on the person and their preferences. This is the time you need to be focused on making sure you're taking care of yourself. Most women I know in their 30s still look great. But if you've just skated through your 20s eating like crap and not working out and generally not taking care of yourself, it starts to show in your 30s so some women get freaked out and think they're suddenly ugly.

You're not ugly. You can look amazing in your 30s and even better than you did in your 20s, it just requires you actually practice selfcare now.

+1 Most 30-somethings I know who do this look better than they did in their 20s. Without the baby fat in their faces, their bone structure often looks more striking and refined. But, yes, be more fit, carry yourself with confidence, and be more pleasant was simple, great advice.

Anonymous wrote:Drink water, get plenty of sleep, work out 5x a week, eat an 80/20 diet of 80% healthy nutritious food and 20% whatever. Obviously makeup and hair and clothing helps but that's all subjective based on the person and their preferences. This is the time you need to be focused on making sure you're taking care of yourself. Most women I know in their 30s still look great. But if you've just skated through your 20s eating like crap and not working out and generally not taking care of yourself, it starts to show in your 30s so some women get freaked out and think they're suddenly ugly.

You're not ugly. You can look amazing in your 30s and even better than you did in your 20s, it just requires you actually practice selfcare now.

Very good response!

Drink water, get plenty of sleep, work out 5x a week, eat an 80/20 diet of 80% healthy nutritious food and 20% whatever. Obviously makeup and hair and clothing helps but that's all subjective based on the person and their preferences. This is the time you need to be focused on making sure you're taking care of yourself. Most women I know in their 30s still look great. But if you've just skated through your 20s eating like crap and not working out and generally not taking care of yourself, it starts to show in your 30s so some women get freaked out and think they're suddenly ugly.

You're not ugly. You can look amazing in your 30s and even better than you did in your 20s, it just requires you actually practice selfcare now.

Post a picture and we can give better ideas.

Try to avoid being the average 30 year old woman:

- Other Commitments -- Meet my cat, here's my condo, can't grab dinner on Tuesday cause of my X class/event
- Not Flexible -- But I like my dinner/routine/flowers/sex this way not that way
- Ample $ Expectations -- You have a job so you can take me out for dinner every week, get me X for my birthday
- Sanctimonious -- You voted for who? you drive what? no sex until we are exclusive!
- Life's Not Fair -- Reached a point in her career where she can complain non-stop about every chauvinist and work injustice every day
- Ticking Clock -- Photos of relative's/friend's babies as cell phone screen saver, more baby photos around condo
- BMI -- Likely approaching 30. . (https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmicalc.htm)

Don't be fat, keep your hair long (shoulder length is fine if your cut and color are not dated or matronly), dress in clothes that fit well and are on trend but not try-hard, fix your teeth if they need fixing, get Botox.

I'd hit it.

Actually I am going to go out on a limb and say women have it much easier than men. In the 1950s, being a thin or "in shape" woman wasn't particularly novel. Today, a woman can stand out and get positive male attention (and indeed will likely have many suitors) merely by being quite fit and having low body fat. Why? Because so many people are overweight today.

Men, however, are still mainly judged based on height and income. They might somewhat (but really a lot of income is about inherited IQ) be able to control income, but obviously men have no control over their height.

Ergo, female beauty is more controllable and women can more easily improve in the looks category than men.

Culture* not vulture

PP, no wonder. You probably come from a vulture where women remain well put-together and feminine through the decades. No wonder guys are impressed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Wow, this caused quite a stir I'm married with a kid, so not looking to find a partner. I would just like to look better for reasons I won't get into here.

Thank you to those who replied with actual advice!

Being very fit/slim w/hourglass figure, big boobs, with a pretty face is hot apparently. I am in my 50ties (happily married w/kids) and get hit on all the time by men, all races, in their 20ties to 70ties. Not blond either.

You can just write 20s, 50s, and 70s.

thanks. English is not my first language.

So being very fit and not getting fat helps to be a "hot" momma. Sorry to say, it's mostly about weight.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Wow, this caused quite a stir I'm married with a kid, so not looking to find a partner. I would just like to look better for reasons I won't get into here.

Thank you to those who replied with actual advice!

Being very fit/slim w/hourglass figure, big boobs, with a pretty face is hot apparently. I am in my 50ties (happily married w/kids) and get hit on all the time by men, all races, in their 20ties to 70ties. Not blond either.

You can just write 20s, 50s, and 70s.