Anonymous
Post 04/10/2017 09:02     Subject: At what age would you leave your child alone in the hospital?
I think everyone needs an advocate when they are in the hospital, at all times if possible. When that midnight nurse comes in to administer a med, who is watching? Making sure it's correct? Making sure if your child has to pee that someone answers the bell?

I agree it's not always possible to be there all the time but even with a teen, I'd strive to be there as much as possible. I don't trust hospitals, doctors. Heck I don't trust most people.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2017 08:53     Subject: At what age would you leave your child alone in the hospital?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have a child with a chronic condition on her tenth hospitalization. She's now 12 and has never been alone even for the time it would take to get coffee. I just get amazed each time I'm here how many kids are in their rooms totally alone. Little kids and babies. It makes me sad.



I have seen that too. Went to visit a friend's daughter who was hospitalized. Friend stayed with her DD for months in the hospital. But in other rooms babies and little kids were just alone and it was just too sad. No parents, no relatives, nothing. Just a small body in bed all hooked up.

Maybe you walked by while the parent left the room to pee. Or maybe the child's parents were killed in a car accident. Or maybe you walked by while the parent went to get the kid ice cream. Seriously you have no idea what another person's situation is. Mind your own business.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2017 08:46     Subject: At what age would you leave your child alone in the hospital?
My son was in the NICU for four days after birth. I don't understand the people here saying they were with a NICU baby 24/7. The NICU had visiting hours and you were not allowed to sit in there 24/7--even if allowed, I don't see how it would be possible as you can't eat, pee, or sleep in the NICU.

At any rate, there were 5 other babies in the NICU with my son, and we only saw other parents in there a couple of times--which made sense as once the mother is discharged, there is no place at the hospital for the parents (other than to sit in the waiting room). So, of course, people were going home and coming back for visiting hours.

And as for care, the NICU always had more staff than babies from what we saw, and at any given time the babies were mostly sleeping.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2017 08:45     Subject: At what age would you leave your child alone in the hospital?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't leave any relative or friend in the hospital for extended periods. I've saved a couple friends from serious errors and my own life was saved because my husband was at my side (pulmonary embolism).


+ 1. I am sympathetic to those who have no option but to leave their loved ones in the hospitals for whatever reasons. The truth is that even in the best of hospitals quality of care and attention significantly diminishes when there are no relatives to keep an eye on things.



That may be true of hospitals in general. It is not true of the NICU. There are very low nurse ratios and excellent, caring care. The babies sleep a lot, and when they are awake, the nurses hold them if that's what they want.


I think you mean high nurse ratios.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2017 08:37     Subject: At what age would you leave your child alone in the hospital?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't leave any relative or friend in the hospital for extended periods. I've saved a couple friends from serious errors and my own life was saved because my husband was at my side (pulmonary embolism).


+ 1. I am sympathetic to those who have no option but to leave their loved ones in the hospitals for whatever reasons. The truth is that even in the best of hospitals quality of care and attention significantly diminishes when there are no relatives to keep an eye on things.



That may be true of hospitals in general. It is not true of the NICU. There are very low nurse ratios and excellent, caring care. The babies sleep a lot, and when they are awake, the nurses hold them if that's what they want.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2017 08:33     Subject: At what age would you leave your child alone in the hospital?
Anonymous wrote:Honestly, never. I'm 34. Over the past 8 months, I've spent weeks at a time in the hospital. (Both Suburban and Shady Grove) At no point have I ever been alone. Not even for one second. My dad's a physician and he's managed to spend a few hours a day at the hospital with me, in between his own crazy busy schedule. My mom has been there every single day. As have her two best friends. My own best friends have spent the night every single night I've been there, refusing to leave me alone in the evenings. They bring their work clothes for the next day with them and leave from the hospital. Their moms have brought breakfast every single day for whoever is there with me in the morning.

I know I'm insanely lucky to be surrounded by such a loving, caring group of people, and I don't take it for granted for one second, but being in the hospital is terrifying, even as an adult, and I can't for one second imagine being a child and being left alone there. The only reason I've been able to stay sane throughout my hospitalizations is because I've had my friends and family there to get me through it. My doctors have always said that the positivity I'm surrounded by has made a world of difference in the progress I've made and they're right. I haven't had one second to mope or be upset or afraid because I'm constantly surrounded by people who remind me of all the great things I have in my life and that makes fighting my illness so much easier.


I spent a month in the hospital a few years ago and I would hate this set-up. I liked having a visitor or two a day and for my husband to visit after work and eat dinner together, but no way would I want someone with me all of the time.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2017 08:26     Subject: At what age would you leave your child alone in the hospital?
Anonymous wrote:I don't leave any relative or friend in the hospital for extended periods. I've saved a couple friends from serious errors and my own life was saved because my husband was at my side (pulmonary embolism).


+ 1. I am sympathetic to those who have no option but to leave their loved ones in the hospitals for whatever reasons. The truth is that even in the best of hospitals quality of care and attention significantly diminishes when there are no relatives to keep an eye on things.

Anonymous
Post 04/10/2017 08:24     Subject: At what age would you leave your child alone in the hospital?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have a child with a chronic condition on her tenth hospitalization. She's now 12 and has never been alone even for the time it would take to get coffee. I just get amazed each time I'm here how many kids are in their rooms totally alone. Little kids and babies. It makes me sad.



I have seen that too. Went to visit a friend's daughter who was hospitalized. Friend stayed with her DD for months in the hospital. But in other rooms babies and little kids were just alone and it was just too sad. No parents, no relatives, nothing. Just a small body in bed all hooked up.


Of course it is sad. But it is what it is. Most people are doing the best they they can. It would be a very rare who parent who would prefer to leave the child alone.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2017 08:22     Subject: At what age would you leave your child alone in the hospital?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have a child with a chronic condition on her tenth hospitalization. She's now 12 and has never been alone even for the time it would take to get coffee. I just get amazed each time I'm here how many kids are in their rooms totally alone. Little kids and babies. It makes me sad.



I have seen that too. Went to visit a friend's daughter who was hospitalized. Friend stayed with her DD for months in the hospital. But in other rooms babies and little kids were just alone and it was just too sad. No parents, no relatives, nothing. Just a small body in bed all hooked up.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2017 08:20     Subject: At what age would you leave your child alone in the hospital?
I don't leave any relative or friend in the hospital for extended periods. I've saved a couple friends from serious errors and my own life was saved because my husband was at my side (pulmonary embolism).
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2017 08:18     Subject: At what age would you leave your child alone in the hospital?
Me, personally? My oldest was in the hospital for 2 months when he was born. I spent all day there but there was no where to sleep (was at Inova Fairfax before they did the big addition/reno to the NICU), so open room with about 12-14 babies per room. When he spent a few days there at age 2, I never left. Much more aware and he had his own room with a bed where I could sleep and a shower.

But the NICU experience was upsetting. Lots of parents doing the best they could. Some of the babies were in there very long term (one had been in for more than 6 months). Parents had to work and pay the bills and some lived far away. It is a tough situation and one that I hope I never find myself in again. Even with my money and time resources, it was awful.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2017 07:59     Subject: Re:At what age would you leave your child alone in the hospital?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I had a NICU baby who stayed in for 88 days. I had 2 older kids at home. I went back to work when she stabilized around 5 weeks. I had to save my maternity leave for when she actually got home. I got A LOT of judgement for it from nurses and other moms. Thank GOD I joined a NICU support group and met lots of women who had to do the exact same thing. I worked from 8- 5, went home and got my other 2 kids settled and went to the NICU around 9pm and spent the night. DH went to NICU straight from work from 5pm and came home around 830 so we could switch. I am not proud of it but I knew she wouldn't be permitted to go to daycare till 12 months so i was already going to be hiring a nanny which was way more money then I had expected so every day of leave and every hour of pay counted for me. I also am the one to carry my families health insurance. Please don't judge unless you've been in a similar situation. No on WANTS to leave their child at a hospital.


Be proud of it!! That was an absolutely grueling schedule that you put together for your baby's benefit. You should be proud of yourself.


I agree. I'm a PP whose kid has been hospitalized about 10 times. The longest was for 11 days only. And I only have the one child. In your shoes, I would have tried to do the same thing.

And honestly, you are super-woman. Not only were you looking out for 3 kids, one of whom was in the hospital, but you were recovering from giving birth.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2017 06:39     Subject: Re:At what age would you leave your child alone in the hospital?
Anonymous wrote:I had a NICU baby who stayed in for 88 days. I had 2 older kids at home. I went back to work when she stabilized around 5 weeks. I had to save my maternity leave for when she actually got home. I got A LOT of judgement for it from nurses and other moms. Thank GOD I joined a NICU support group and met lots of women who had to do the exact same thing. I worked from 8- 5, went home and got my other 2 kids settled and went to the NICU around 9pm and spent the night. DH went to NICU straight from work from 5pm and came home around 830 so we could switch. I am not proud of it but I knew she wouldn't be permitted to go to daycare till 12 months so i was already going to be hiring a nanny which was way more money then I had expected so every day of leave and every hour of pay counted for me. I also am the one to carry my families health insurance. Please don't judge unless you've been in a similar situation. No on WANTS to leave their child at a hospital.


Be proud of it!! That was an absolutely grueling schedule that you put together for your baby's benefit. You should be proud of yourself.
Anonymous
Post 04/09/2017 23:33     Subject: At what age would you leave your child alone in the hospital?
Anonymous wrote:Whenever they asked me not to be there. I get hospitalized about once a year for a chronic condition. Anywhere from 2-10 days. When I was about 14 I started telling my parents that no one needed to sleep in my room. Parent spent the night in the family area. Around 16-17 I was more insistent that I wanted alone time. Parents respected that.

As an adult, I don't mind visitors for half the day. After that, I prefer to be left alone, with the exception of DH. Dh is just someone I dont have to worry about, we can silently watch TV together, or read our Kindles separately. But I don't want him spending the night. I need some alone time (just like I do at home). Plus, I don't like to be treated differently because I'm in the hospital. With my parents it's always the memories of when I was a kid.and my condition.was more severe.so they are.stressed/upset. For my friends they want to rally around me and be supportive. And I appreciate all of it, it's just overwhelming.
no one asked what you'd do as an adult. The question is about children.
Anonymous
Post 04/09/2017 23:29     Subject: At what age would you leave your child alone in the hospital?
Never! I would never leave my child at hospital alone. Never. Someone we know we'll would be with him at all times around the clock. He's now 10.