My son ate a lot from infancy. He just had a huge appetite. He is now a grown man, six feet tall and built large. Probably about 220 but he lost a bunch of weight recently.

He struggles with a compulsive appetite. Thankfully that has not translated to addiction to anything more harmful. He drinks almost not at all and has never used drugs.

I wish, when he was a boy, I had taken this issue more seriously than I did. I wish I could have helped him learn to control this problem so he would not have struggled so much with his weight.

When he was a teenager he played sports and that kept him somewhat leaner. But once he stopped daily workouts that came with sports like football he got bigger. He has taken up running and that helps.

I think when they are children there is a fine line between helping them with rules and guidance about food and focusing too much on eating. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20 lbs in 9 mo is appropriate weight gain? on what planet?

+1

Boys in puberty?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not a lot but he'd eat more if we let him. We already limit carbs to one serving but let him have his meats. And he'd ask what breakfasts gonna be before bed.

I'm really trying to find out why he's obsessed with food.

He's obsessed with food because he's growing, and on the cusp of growing even more quickly, and his body is screaming at him that he needs food to prepare for upcoming growth, but it's being denied to him. He NEEDS carbs for growth and limiting him to one serving is cruel and setting him up for failure.

He's also obsessed with food because he doesn't consistently get his needs met in this area, so he's constantly worried about the next time that's going to happen.

Put healthy food on the table, and allow him to monitor for himself how much he eats. Two pork chops, or three pieces of chicken, and a couple servings of rice or potatoes is a good place to start a meal for a kid at this stage.

Don't you guys get it? There are some kids (of course, not the majority... but a few) who are obsessed with food and cannot make healthy decisions without their parents' help to guide them and teach them. I wish it were not the case, but I have to take a strong role in my son's diet. I did not make him obsessed with food... he has been this way his whole life. I'm got to monitor and teach and hope that the lessons sink in before he goes off on his own.

OP, have you ever observed litters of puppies or kittens? Have you ever seen the food-seeking behavior of the runts when they are full grown? The runts were not born being 'obsessed' with food; they became obsessed with food because of its scarcity when they were puppies and kittens. This is simple behaviorist training. Your 'strong role' in your son's diet is causing his 'obsession'.

+1000

Anonymous wrote:20 lbs in 9 mo is appropriate weight gain? on what planet?

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not a lot but he'd eat more if we let him. We already limit carbs to one serving but let him have his meats. And he'd ask what breakfasts gonna be before bed.

I'm really trying to find out why he's obsessed with food.

He's obsessed with food because he's growing, and on the cusp of growing even more quickly, and his body is screaming at him that he needs food to prepare for upcoming growth, but it's being denied to him. He NEEDS carbs for growth and limiting him to one serving is cruel and setting him up for failure.

He's also obsessed with food because he doesn't consistently get his needs met in this area, so he's constantly worried about the next time that's going to happen.

Put healthy food on the table, and allow him to monitor for himself how much he eats. Two pork chops, or three pieces of chicken, and a couple servings of rice or potatoes is a good place to start a meal for a kid at this stage.

Don't you guys get it? There are some kids (of course, not the majority... but a few) who are obsessed with food and cannot make healthy decisions without their parents' help to guide them and teach them. I wish it were not the case, but I have to take a strong role in my son's diet. I did not make him obsessed with food... he has been this way his whole life. I'm got to monitor and teach and hope that the lessons sink in before he goes off on his own.

I don't disagree that what you typed is true. There are some kids like that. But this is a kid who was able to monitor his diet well enough to have an appropriate weight gain in only 9 months. That's particularly amazing given that it takes

This is also a kid who is currently not getting adequate portions. Giving a kid who is obsessed with food inadequate portions is not the solution. If you're going to police how much they eat, then know that 1 piece of chicken is not an appropriate amount for a boy on the cusp of puberty.

What you're teaching him now is that he is going to be hungry in the future so stock up when you can. That's the lesson that will "sink in". I know because my mother parented the same way. Despite living in a million dollar house, I went to bed starving almost every night. At your son's age, I was begging my friends to let me have sleep overs because I knew I'd get an adequate portion for dinner for a change. All 3 of my mother's children have struggled hugely with the issue as adults. One of my siblings is overweight to the point that they're currently living in a rehab facility because they can't transfer from their wheelchair to a toilet and back. The other one of my siblings almost lost their job (pilot) because of weight related health conditions.

Don't do that to your kids.

OK, it all makes sense now. You clearly have your own issues with food. Why don't you work on that instead of giving bad advice to others?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not a lot but he'd eat more if we let him. We already limit carbs to one serving but let him have his meats. And he'd ask what breakfasts gonna be before bed.

I'm really trying to find out why he's obsessed with food.

He's obsessed with food because he's growing, and on the cusp of growing even more quickly, and his body is screaming at him that he needs food to prepare for upcoming growth, but it's being denied to him. He NEEDS carbs for growth and limiting him to one serving is cruel and setting him up for failure.

He's also obsessed with food because he doesn't consistently get his needs met in this area, so he's constantly worried about the next time that's going to happen.

Put healthy food on the table, and allow him to monitor for himself how much he eats. Two pork chops, or three pieces of chicken, and a couple servings of rice or potatoes is a good place to start a meal for a kid at this stage.

Don't you guys get it? There are some kids (of course, not the majority... but a few) who are obsessed with food and cannot make healthy decisions without their parents' help to guide them and teach them. I wish it were not the case, but I have to take a strong role in my son's diet. I did not make him obsessed with food... he has been this way his whole life. I'm got to monitor and teach and hope that the lessons sink in before he goes off on his own.

OP, have you ever observed litters of puppies or kittens? Have you ever seen the food-seeking behavior of the runts when they are full grown? The runts were not born being 'obsessed' with food; they became obsessed with food because of its scarcity when they were puppies and kittens. This is simple behaviorist training. Your 'strong role' in your son's diet is causing his 'obsession'.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not a lot but he'd eat more if we let him. We already limit carbs to one serving but let him have his meats. And he'd ask what breakfasts gonna be before bed.

I'm really trying to find out why he's obsessed with food.

He's obsessed with food because he's growing, and on the cusp of growing even more quickly, and his body is screaming at him that he needs food to prepare for upcoming growth, but it's being denied to him. He NEEDS carbs for growth and limiting him to one serving is cruel and setting him up for failure.

He's also obsessed with food because he doesn't consistently get his needs met in this area, so he's constantly worried about the next time that's going to happen.

Put healthy food on the table, and allow him to monitor for himself how much he eats. Two pork chops, or three pieces of chicken, and a couple servings of rice or potatoes is a good place to start a meal for a kid at this stage.

Don't you guys get it? There are some kids (of course, not the majority... but a few) who are obsessed with food and cannot make healthy decisions without their parents' help to guide them and teach them. I wish it were not the case, but I have to take a strong role in my son's diet. I did not make him obsessed with food... he has been this way his whole life. I'm got to monitor and teach and hope that the lessons sink in before he goes off on his own.

I don't disagree that what you typed is true. There are some kids like that. But this is a kid who was able to monitor his diet well enough to have an appropriate weight gain in only 9 months. That's particularly amazing given that it takes

This is also a kid who is currently not getting adequate portions. Giving a kid who is obsessed with food inadequate portions is not the solution. If you're going to police how much they eat, then know that 1 piece of chicken is not an appropriate amount for a boy on the cusp of puberty.

What you're teaching him now is that he is going to be hungry in the future so stock up when you can. That's the lesson that will "sink in". I know because my mother parented the same way. Despite living in a million dollar house, I went to bed starving almost every night. At your son's age, I was begging my friends to let me have sleep overs because I knew I'd get an adequate portion for dinner for a change. All 3 of my mother's children have struggled hugely with the issue as adults. One of my siblings is overweight to the point that they're currently living in a rehab facility because they can't transfer from their wheelchair to a toilet and back. The other one of my siblings almost lost their job (pilot) because of weight related health conditions.

Don't do that to your kids.

OP, have you had your son evaluated by his pediatrician? What does the pediatrician say about the controls that you are placing on the food? Have you considered individual and/or family counseling?

Anonymous wrote:I would really try to find healthy veggies that he'll eat and let him eat all he wants. I suggest serving a large bowl of steamed green beans or roasted broccoli or cauliflower before dinner. Let him fill up on the veggies as an appetizer. I roast almost any veggie with olive oil an salt and lemon juice and my kids gobble them up (particularly before dinner or while watching TV). Maybe also air popped popcorn?

I know most don't agree with eating while watching TV, especially for a kid who tends to overeat, but it may not be a bad idea in this circumstance to preload him with veggies this way.

I would really try to find healthy veggies that he'll eat and let him eat all he wants. I suggest serving a large bowl of steamed green beans or roasted broccoli or cauliflower before dinner. Let him fill up on the veggies as an appetizer. I roast almost any veggie with olive oil an salt and lemon juice and my kids gobble them up (particularly before dinner or while watching TV). Maybe also air popped popcorn?

20 lbs in 9 mo is appropriate weight gain? on what planet?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not a lot but he'd eat more if we let him. We already limit carbs to one serving but let him have his meats. And he'd ask what breakfasts gonna be before bed.

I'm really trying to find out why he's obsessed with food.

He's obsessed with food because he's growing, and on the cusp of growing even more quickly, and his body is screaming at him that he needs food to prepare for upcoming growth, but it's being denied to him. He NEEDS carbs for growth and limiting him to one serving is cruel and setting him up for failure.

He's also obsessed with food because he doesn't consistently get his needs met in this area, so he's constantly worried about the next time that's going to happen.

Put healthy food on the table, and allow him to monitor for himself how much he eats. Two pork chops, or three pieces of chicken, and a couple servings of rice or potatoes is a good place to start a meal for a kid at this stage.

Don't you guys get it? There are some kids (of course, not the majority... but a few) who are obsessed with food and cannot make healthy decisions without their parents' help to guide them and teach them. I wish it were not the case, but I have to take a strong role in my son's diet. I did not make him obsessed with food... he has been this way his whole life. I'm got to monitor and teach and hope that the lessons sink in before he goes off on his own.

I don't disagree that what you typed is true. There are some kids like that. But this is a kid who was able to monitor his diet well enough to have an appropriate weight gain in only 9 months. That's particularly amazing given that it takes

This is also a kid who is currently not getting adequate portions. Giving a kid who is obsessed with food inadequate portions is not the solution. If you're going to police how much they eat, then know that 1 piece of chicken is not an appropriate amount for a boy on the cusp of puberty.

What you're teaching him now is that he is going to be hungry in the future so stock up when you can. That's the lesson that will "sink in". I know because my mother parented the same way. Despite living in a million dollar house, I went to bed starving almost every night. At your son's age, I was begging my friends to let me have sleep overs because I knew I'd get an adequate portion for dinner for a change. All 3 of my mother's children have struggled hugely with the issue as adults. One of my siblings is overweight to the point that they're currently living in a rehab facility because they can't transfer from their wheelchair to a toilet and back. The other one of my siblings almost lost their job (pilot) because of weight related health conditions.

Don't do that to your kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, in a typical day what specific foods does he eat & in what quantities?

one glass of milk, one eng, one slice of toast, one babybel, four meatballs/grilled chicken breast strips, one cutie/some grapes.

two school lunches/a dessert (rice putting/yougurt)

one piece of cookie/one energy bar/yougurt (will ask for more).

one chicken breast (will ask for seconds or a thigh)/one (will ask for two) pork chop/a (will ask for more) steak, some brocoli/cauliflower/lettice (never seconds), some bread/rice/pasta (wants seconds), some hot soup. no dessert. small fruit sometimes (never seconds).

one glass of milk.

yeah he eats a lot.

OP, the slashes / mean "or"? If so, that is not that much food for a preteen boy. I'd cut down the bread/pasta/rice.

Our DD loves to eat & is always asking for more. I think it's just kids are different. (my other child can't be bothered to remember to eat!) Your list doesn't seem bad - hard to know what the lunches are. That said, we just worked with our pediatrician about a nutrition plan -- and basically are cutting out 'white' or processed carbs as much as possible (while still having a once-a-week Sunday croissant treat) - and boosting protein, fruit and veggies (protein takes longer to digest than carbs, so you aren't as hungry again as quickly) -- and that when she wants more or seconds, that the options are fruit, veggies, whole grain cereal/milk, or popcorn. I'd check out options for bringing lunch and cutting out white carbs. Focus on healthy options with some limited treats (like one small treat a day as long as he's eating good for you stuff) vs. quantity.

do you think she eats for other than hunger or pleasure? is there any sign of stressed eating?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not a lot but he'd eat more if we let him. We already limit carbs to one serving but let him have his meats. And he'd ask what breakfasts gonna be before bed.

I'm really trying to find out why he's obsessed with food.

He's obsessed with food because he's growing, and on the cusp of growing even more quickly, and his body is screaming at him that he needs food to prepare for upcoming growth, but it's being denied to him. He NEEDS carbs for growth and limiting him to one serving is cruel and setting him up for failure.

He's also obsessed with food because he doesn't consistently get his needs met in this area, so he's constantly worried about the next time that's going to happen.

Put healthy food on the table, and allow him to monitor for himself how much he eats. Two pork chops, or three pieces of chicken, and a couple servings of rice or potatoes is a good place to start a meal for a kid at this stage.

Don't you guys get it? There are some kids (of course, not the majority... but a few) who are obsessed with food and cannot make healthy decisions without their parents' help to guide them and teach them. I wish it were not the case, but I have to take a strong role in my son's diet. I did not make him obsessed with food... he has been this way his whole life. I'm got to monitor and teach and hope that the lessons sink in before he goes off on his own.

I mean, I'm 33 and I think about food all the time, so...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, in a typical day what specific foods does he eat & in what quantities?

one glass of milk, one eng, one slice of toast, one babybel, four meatballs/grilled chicken breast strips, one cutie/some grapes.

two school lunches/a dessert (rice putting/yougurt)

one piece of cookie/one energy bar/yougurt (will ask for more).

one chicken breast (will ask for seconds or a thigh)/one (will ask for two) pork chop/a (will ask for more) steak, some brocoli/cauliflower/lettice (never seconds), some bread/rice/pasta (wants seconds), some hot soup. no dessert. small fruit sometimes (never seconds).

one glass of milk.

yeah he eats a lot.

OP, the slashes / mean "or"? If so, that is not that much food for a preteen boy. I'd cut down the bread/pasta/rice.

Our DD loves to eat & is always asking for more. I think it's just kids are different. (my other child can't be bothered to remember to eat!) Your list doesn't seem bad - hard to know what the lunches are. That said, we just worked with our pediatrician about a nutrition plan -- and basically are cutting out 'white' or processed carbs as much as possible (while still having a once-a-week Sunday croissant treat) - and boosting protein, fruit and veggies (protein takes longer to digest than carbs, so you aren't as hungry again as quickly) -- and that when she wants more or seconds, that the options are fruit, veggies, whole grain cereal/milk, or popcorn. I'd check out options for bringing lunch and cutting out white carbs. Focus on healthy options with some limited treats (like one small treat a day as long as he's eating good for you stuff) vs. quantity.

Mine kids are the same: one seems always concerned what, when and where we will be eating, always has her own shopping list, etc. The second child always need a reminder to eat, otherwise will skip meals happily (like can go all day with one banana, or just one yogurt and not be hungry).

To OP: from what you have listed, it doesn't seems like a lot of food. Try to not focus on the food for a while (like a year).