I'm black, and I agree with op. Seems like the aunt is the type who thinks that if she reduces to tears, everyone will just fall into place.

Anonymous wrote:Lemme guess! White people, right?

Nieces and nephews are for hugging, kissing and being spoilt rotten by their aunts and uncles in all cultures except the White culture.

Don't make this about race/culture.

Lemme guess! White people, right?

Nieces and nephews are for hugging, kissing and being spoilt rotten by their aunts and uncles in all cultures except the White culture.

As it*

Y'all are really reaching with this child predator stuff and it compares to the situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're relatives. It's a HUG. Seriously, get over it. Yes, your child is rude. Enough with the boundaries nonsense, when you try to make EVERY SINGLE STUPID THING about "boundaries" it loses its importance and effectiveness. Find some other reason to stir the pot with your in-laws because this is silly.

You do realize that people who abuse others are not strangers right? You need to get over it.

Wow. You refuse your kids any tactile contact, because someone somewhere may abuse their child? Y'all need therapy. Lots and lots of it.

Yes, because saying "I don't force my child to give hugs on demand" means refusing all physical contact.

No, genius. It's because hugging an aunt is being compared to a sexual assault. Get a grip.

The point isn't about indulging one weird aunt. The point is what lesson you're teaching your child when you say they have to accept hugs from adults. Because what if next time its a predator but someone they 'should' trust like a school employee or a friend of the family. When you teach children that they have universal bodily autonomy then there will be no questions if it is violated at a later date. And if you teach them to feel pride and know that you support them in that autonomy they are more likely to come to you if someone violates that. If you teach children that they have to suppress their personal feelings about being touched in order to make adults happy, that sets them up for a very dangerous situation if they ever ARE in a situation where they are at risk of being abused.

Anonymous wrote:The toddler hugged and kissed his aunt goodbye which is normal and appropriate.

The the aunt wanted to repeat this ritual 100x which is not normal.

The toddler didn't want to hug and kiss his aunt goodbye repeatedly which is also normal and appropriate.

In response, the aunt cried which is not normal.

The aunt behaved bizarrely and inappropriately.

Maybe it is the way the aunt understands play with the child. Like playful teasing or whining for a hug. Of course childish and not great but I don't think it warrents taking the kid away like she smothered him. I think 3 times for a needy person and then wheeling her off would be ok. I have a MIL who enjoyed kids crying when she left at the airport. I gave halfway in, kids survived.

The toddler hugged and kissed his aunt goodbye which is normal and appropriate.

The the aunt wanted to repeat this ritual 100x which is not normal.

The toddler didn't want to hug and kiss his aunt goodbye repeatedly which is also normal and appropriate.

In response, the aunt cried which is not normal.

The aunt behaved bizarrely and inappropriately.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're relatives. It's a HUG. Seriously, get over it. Yes, your child is rude. Enough with the boundaries nonsense, when you try to make EVERY SINGLE STUPID THING about "boundaries" it loses its importance and effectiveness. Find some other reason to stir the pot with your in-laws because this is silly.

You do realize that people who abuse others are not strangers right? You need to get over it.

Wow. You refuse your kids any tactile contact, because someone somewhere may abuse their child? Y'all need therapy. Lots and lots of it.

Yes, because saying "I don't force my child to give hugs on demand" means refusing all physical contact.

No, genius. It's because hugging an aunt is being compared to a sexual assault. Get a grip.

No. No one is saying that. What we are saying is that kids should be able to have agency over their own body. It's about teaching them that they can control who gets to touch them, and that it is ok to say no (and that if someone says no to them, then they have to respect that also.)

First you said your SIL takes 100 goodbyes and then you took your son away after the first. I would have probably allowed three and then put my foot down. One is a bit harsh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're relatives. It's a HUG. Seriously, get over it. Yes, your child is rude. Enough with the boundaries nonsense, when you try to make EVERY SINGLE STUPID THING about "boundaries" it loses its importance and effectiveness. Find some other reason to stir the pot with your in-laws because this is silly.

You do realize that people who abuse others are not strangers right? You need to get over it.

Wow. You refuse your kids any tactile contact, because someone somewhere may abuse their child? Y'all need therapy. Lots and lots of it.

Yes, because saying "I don't force my child to give hugs on demand" means refusing all physical contact.

No, genius. It's because hugging an aunt is being compared to a sexual assault. Get a grip.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're relatives. It's a HUG. Seriously, get over it. Yes, your child is rude. Enough with the boundaries nonsense, when you try to make EVERY SINGLE STUPID THING about "boundaries" it loses its importance and effectiveness. Find some other reason to stir the pot with your in-laws because this is silly.

You do realize that people who abuse others are not strangers right? You need to get over it.

Wow. You refuse your kids any tactile contact, because someone somewhere may abuse their child? Y'all need therapy. Lots and lots of it.

Yeah. That's exactly what we are saying. Seriously? If my son wants to hug someone after that person has asked, great! But he shouldn't be forced to. Remember - they don't know the relative as well as you do.

Yes, seriously. I don't make my kid hug anyone, but the level to which this thread has escalated is borderline insane. You people need to lay off the weed

We never made our kids give hugs or kisses. If they wouldn't give them voluntary they are allowed to give high 5's. One of my uncles can be scary - big guy, booming voice etc. He's a gentle giant but can be scary to a little kid. So DS has always giving him a high 5. Uncle accepts and loves it. The two of them worked out a special high 5 that only they do.

As a school psychologist, this is a big topic in the schools. Starting in preschool children are taught about their bubble and personal space as well as innapropriate times to hug and be hugged. Children are taught S young as 2 that NO means NO. It is not appropriate to touch a child in any way if they say no. It's a great thing to teach children and apparently adults.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're relatives. It's a HUG. Seriously, get over it. Yes, your child is rude. Enough with the boundaries nonsense, when you try to make EVERY SINGLE STUPID THING about "boundaries" it loses its importance and effectiveness. Find some other reason to stir the pot with your in-laws because this is silly.

You do realize that people who abuse others are not strangers right? You need to get over it.

Wow. You refuse your kids any tactile contact, because someone somewhere may abuse their child? Y'all need therapy. Lots and lots of it.

Yeah. That's exactly what we are saying. Seriously? If my son wants to hug someone after that person has asked, great! But he shouldn't be forced to. Remember - they don't know the relative as well as you do.