Anonymous wrote:Work affair gone wrong. She got dumped and can't stand to go to work with him there.

more like she dumped somebody else and he threatened to tell unless she quit

Work affair gone wrong. She got dumped and can't stand to go to work with him there.

Anonymous wrote:Women with kids are not impetuous like that.
It nearly always means asking ourselves "how can I do this thing with minimal pain and discomfort or irritation to my kids and husband while bearing the maximum amount of inconvenience myself."
It's just how moms are wired/ we do stuff for ourselves but we figure out a way first to minimize the negative impact for everyone else in the family.

To the pp who included these statements in her response:
Not all moms got the memo. I agree many are like this to an extent, and many have strong mama bear bonds to their kids and families, but there is also a lot of moms who could give two f*cks about anyone else, including their children.
We don't know what kind of mom she is. Generalizing women and motherhood in this sense negates the moms who neglect and abuse their kids and how those kids fare as children and adults. Having a mom who wasn't and isn't nurturing and caring is a reality for many. Never mind the mom who bends over backwards constantly self sacrificing and what that does to her kids.

Good luck OP and I hope your talk goes well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Financially it will be difficult. Our entire cushion is gone and the whole premise of our financial choices change (living close in a walkable neighborhood with good schools) goes out the window, which she also doesn't want to face.

I don't think she just gets to decide to quit her job in those circumstances. Ask her if she can take some time off to catch her breath, but let her know you both need to be financially responsible.

There are a lot of women who espouse, but don't really believe in, equality. When push comes to shove, they expect to be taken care of and to have options denied working fathers. It won't be an easy conversation, but you have to tell her to grow up.

+1 but don't give her "time off to catch her breath". Tell her to grow up and get her sh*t together. She doesn't get the luxury of quitting jobs when she's part of a household with a financial responsibility.

Anonymous wrote:Financially it will be difficult. Our entire cushion is gone and the whole premise of our financial choices change (living close in a walkable neighborhood with good schools) goes out the window, which she also doesn't want to face.

I don't think she just gets to decide to quit her job in those circumstances. Ask her if she can take some time off to catch her breath, but let her know you both need to be financially responsible.

There are a lot of women who espouse, but don't really believe in, equality. When push comes to shove, they expect to be taken care of and to have options denied working fathers. It won't be an easy conversation, but you have to tell her to grow up.

Anonymous wrote:OP give us a update. Good luck!

+1

Anonymous wrote:OP: you should quit your job too.

+1

I'm a woman. Maybe she is just lazy and doesn't want to work. If you read some of these threads many of the wives on DCUM are lazy and don't want to work. As expected they'll will find all types of excuses not to work. Lazy people don't think about the impact of their decisions to not work even if it impacts the children. You men need to do a better job vetting your future wives on work ethics or you'll end up with op's situation.

Anonymous wrote:Op I'm being real when I say this: you need to ask her why she was let go or fired and tell her you're not mad about that and can help her find a new job. She did not quit. Women with kids are not impetuous like that. They would not pull something that would so significantly affect their kids' well being for their own benefit. I'm saying this as a mom who knows tons of moms: there's a calculus we all run when it comes to making a decision. It nearly always means asking ourselves "how can I do this thing with minimal pain and discomfort or irritation to my kids and husband while bearing the maximum amount of inconvenience myself."

Women do not all behave or think the same way. Some moms smoke crack while they are pregnant. Some moms leave their children in hot cars so they can go inside a den and shoot heroin. I know one mom who moved out of the house one day and refused any further contact with her children.

OP: you should quit your job too.

She got fired or was going to get fired. Maybe something was about to be exposed (stealing, taking credit for work she didn't do, affair with co-worker, lying).

1. Did she already quit, or is she just thinking about it?

2. Any chance she was fired and just doesn't want to tell you the truth?

I'm miserable at work, but I would never quit unless I had another job lined up. Adults need to be more responsible. And this is something that requires a discussion with your spouse.

She may be just venting.

Sometimes people say stuff like that w/out actually doing it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We are talking in an hour. I don't understand but want to get to the bottom of this.

Good OP. Try to be understanding and find out when she will start looking for another job. What field is she in?

Anyways. good to hear that as well OP. Good luck.

If its at all possible pawn the kids off on someone and go for a walk or something. Talk on nuetral territory.

OP give us a update. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We are talking in an hour. I don't understand but want to get to the bottom of this.

Good OP. Try to be understanding and find out when she will start looking for another job. What field is she in?

Anyways. good to hear that as well OP. Good luck.